


Everything is Grey

by nishiki



Series: Colors [2]
Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Kurt being oblivious as hell, M/M, Pietro being a giant idiot, Post-X-Men: Apocalypse (2016), Pre-X-Men: Apocalypse (2016), Prequel, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-11-19 16:06:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 59,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11316894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nishiki/pseuds/nishiki
Summary: In the beginning, Pietro and Kurt could not have been any more different. In the beginning, Pietro couldn't have cared less for the blue elfish German boy. In the beginning, Peters life had been a dull gray devoid of all color.Prequel to "Everything is Blue" in which Pietro Maximoff falls hopelessly in love with his best friend.





	1. Prolog

Looking back on his life, it was impossible to tell at which point the world had lost all color and joy to him. It just happened. From one day to the other, suddenly he had been deprived of all color and never quite figured out why or what it meant. Was he missing something in life? Was he missing out on an important experience? Was he not living his life as he was supposed to be? Was he wasting his potential in life?

He felt, with every day he spent in his mother's basement, wasting away his days playing video games or watching TV, his world was losing one more shade of color until all that remained was gray. As a child, he remembered, his mother had sometimes read to him from the book  _ Momo _ , written by German author Michael Ende, in which a bunch of gray gentlemen visited a town and stolen the time from the people around, tinting the world gray with every bit of time they would steal. Maybe that was what was happening to him, he thought. Maybe his time was stolen and that was why his world started to become more and more gray with each passing day.

Maybe it was just the circumstances he was living in. Maybe it was his own mind that was lacking color. Would this be some kind of stupid rom-com and not his life he was looking back at, he would probably say that everything had changed the moment he had first laid his eyes on a German devil named Kurt Wagner, that suddenly sounds and music and butterflies had appeared and filled his world, but that was not the case. It had not been love at first sight. It had not been magical and romantic from the beginning. It had been, like everything in his life, clumsy and strange and taken a lot of time to develop at all.

But at some point, yes, the gray in his world had started to vanish and made room for a little bit of blue.

****

**-End of Prolog-**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> Verdammt - Damnit  
> Trotzdem - Anyway

**1983 - Xavier’s School for gifted youngsters, Salem, New York**

Grey. Looking back, everything was grey. The smoke lingering in the air of the small house, the walls, the streaks in his mother's hair, which she desperately tried to hide under blonde hair dye, the world, even his dreams. But the bright lights of the arcade machine in his room were enticing. He felt drawn towards the vibrant colors of the TV and all his favorite games.

It was not as if he had had a hard life, he assumed. There were people he knew who had it a lot worse and yet, he could not even tell at which point his life had started to lose all color. Was it the first time his mother had raised her hand against him to smack him across the face for having broken her most favorite vase? One might think it would be the first time his first stepfather had punched him, but no. Having some random guy hit him was not cause for trauma for Peter - not by a long shot. Having his mother hit him was a whole different story. And yet, was this the point where everything had started? Or was it the time his mother had started drinking? Was it when he had found her passed out drunk for the first time with his baby sister crying in her crib? Or the times she had fallen into relapse again and again, leaving him disappointed and disillusioned?

It was hard to tell because it had been a fleeting process. First, the colors of the world around him had started to fade out a bit, they got less and less saturated, then they had been covered by a vintage filter, and in the end everything had been grey. The first spark of color had come back into his life when those strangers came to his home to get him to help in the breakout of a prisoner of whom he had learned soon after that he was his own father, whom he had broken out of the Pentagon only to never hear from him again, except for the Television broadcast where he had to experience how his own father had threatened the President. He would never forget the hollow feeling of this moment, as he had sat on the carpet in front of the TV with his sister in his lap, only fifteen years old and yet responsible for the infamous Magneto being free and able to commit yet another crime.

»So what the hell did you do to the elf?« Leave it to Scott _Cyclops_ Summers to pry someone from sad thought about life, Peter mused as he was inevitably pulled from the darkening world of his mind. Of course, Peter rather acted as if he did not know what Scott might mean and kept biting the end of his pencil to look at him with questioning eyes. »Dude, come on!« Scott tried again. Peter finally raised his head and looked towards the spot Scott was gesturing to, only to see how Kurt was desperately trying to get people to take flyers from his hands. » _Vote for Peter_ ?« Scott punched his shoulder.

Somehow their study sessions in the salon always seemed to end up in Peter being punched by someone or hit with a book on the head. At least Scott was not hitting as hard as Jean. »Well, Kurt, like the good friend he is, offered to help me in my campaign for becoming the new head boy.«

»We don't have this position in this school!« Scott exclaimed just loudly enough that only Peter could hear him while poor Kurt Wagner was still hovering in the hallway just outside the salon.

»Pssst, Scott, Scott ... _You_ know that, _I_ know that …  but _Kurt_ doesn't need to know that…« And wasn't he cute in his _Vote for Peter_ shirt? Maybe it was not very nice to fuck around with Kurt like this. He would admit that, but it was just too easy and just too cute how Kurt was running up and down the hallways to hand out self-made flyers to everyone in Peter’s name.  

»Dude, really, that's such a douche-move, you know? He’s new here and you are shitting him like this.« Scott, forever Mr. Moralhighground. Yes, Peter was indeed aware that it was douchey to not tell Kurt the truth and run around like this making a fool out of himself. But, well, Pete had never acted as if he was not a douche and Kurt Wagner had made the big mistake of choosing him, Pietro Maximoff, as a friend, as his best friend even. Someone had to show him what a big mistake that had been and if no one else would, it was on Peter to do this. »Why are you doing this anyway?«

»Someone has to get the poor idiot accommodated to the U.S. So I figured what would be better to have him participate in a good old fashioned election campaign?« Peter grinned sheepishly. He did not even know where the idea had come from. It just popped into his head as if Jean had left it there and he had known that this would be just ideal to prank Kurt.

»I think Jubilee is already doing a good enough job in getting him accommodated here - without _embarrassing_ him in front of the entire school.« Would he not wear his stupid glasses, he would probably look at Peter in a way only a disappointed father would. He was a natural in this regard, apparently.

Jubilee. Yes, that's the thing. He liked Jubilee - He did not like that she was constantly hovering around Kurt though, always trying to get him to go to the mall with her, to have Slurpees and ice cream and watch movies … and be close to Kurt in general, he guessed. _Too close_ , for Peter’s liking. He did not quite know when this feeling had first showed its ugly head to roar at him from the deep pits of his stomach, but since it did, it refused to go away.

It wasn't as if he wouldn't be able to name that feeling either. He knew it quite well, he had felt it before, though maybe not as intensely. In his past, before he had managed to break out of his own personal bubble, feelings had been dull anyway and hardly ever lived up to their full potential. It had been hard for him to really feel anything and it still was, at times. Stupidly and cheesily enough, Peter was under the impression that he only really felt the full impact of any feeling when Kurt was close - as if the German devil was somehow acting as an amplifier. Needless to say, Peter did not like the connotation that this realization came with.

It was not as if he had intended to befriend Kurt even in the first place - he had not actively tried to avoid it either. It had been the Professor who had had the bright idea to put them in the same room so that they could keep each other company while they had been out of commission after this whole Apocalypse debacle. That was what he had said, but somehow Peter still felt as if the Professor had wanted to keep an eye on Peter so that he won't do anything stupid - and who would be better equipped to do just that if not Kurt Wagner this goody-two-shoes.

Sharing a room with Kurt had been odd and beyond awkward in the beginning to be completely honest. They could not be any more different even if they would actively be trying to. That's not to say that they did not share a common fondness for mischief and causing a tiny bit of chaos every now and then. But besides that, Kurt was much too good to be around Peter for a long period of time without Peter rubbing off on him in a negative way. At least that was what Jubilee had teased them with in the beginning. And she was right, wasn't she?

Peter was a petty thief, not more than that. He had dropped out of high school just because he had been bored and rather spent his time stealing all kind of shit that he did not need or want. He had had his reasons to steal, in the beginning, or at least that was what he told himself now. Maybe he had just wanted to prove something to the world - or to himself. Maybe he had wanted to show himself that he was just that good that he could go around and do whatever he pleased to do without getting caught.

Kurt, on the other hand, was the embodiment of being a good guy, even more so than Scott. He was religious, he was adamant to always do his best and to always be good and kind to everyone, despite his pranks - or maybe even to make up for his pranks. He was sweet and he was helpful. He was the kind of guy who would carry a whole stack of heavy books through the entire mansion for anyone, friend or stranger alike. As Peter had joked about becoming the new head boy, Kurt immediately offered his help to him, excited to be a part of something he only knew from television, apparently. Had he not offered his help, maybe Peter would not have started to fuck around with him like he had.

Still, despite their differences in temper and humor, somehow he had felt at ease around Kurt from the beginning. As far back as he could remember, he had always had troubles sleeping. Mainly because of the sounds that had filled their house in the night as he had been little and because of the nightmares that came with the yelling and screaming and fighting. But even in his adult life, he had hardly slept two hours straight, blaming his mutation and his always busy brain for his lack of sleep, telling himself that he wouldn't need sleep anyway. But soon after he had moved in with Kurt, he had been able to get a full night's rest for the very first time in years and he could not grasp why.

Then again, yes, he thought that he did in fact know why, but on the same time, he did not want to accept the implications that came with this feeling and with vocalizing it.

As always, it was Jubilee who ruined Peter’s fun as she found Kurt in the hallway and decided to rescue the poor elf with a glare directed at Peter, who comfortably lounged on the big fluffy couch with his math book in hand. Peter had decided quite early on, that he liked to see Kurt flustered and to see him flustered now was even better. It was a shame that Kurt was not able to turn bright red - which would be quite funny - but Peter liked the dark purple too.

Unlike Jubilee, Kurt did not glare at him. He wouldn't be Kurt Wagner would he not at least _hiss_ at him and bare his teeth. Still, he kept wearing his _Vote for Peter_ shirt for the rest of the day and held his chin high. Truly a showman.

Only after dinner Peter found himself confronted by Jubilee again. Her glare had not softened the entire day every time she would look his way, but Peter, couldn't care less. It wasn't like he wouldn't like her. He did like her. Only the fact that she was always around Kurt made him a bit … scruffy around her. »I really don't understand why you are always so mean to Kurt!« Jubilee frowned over a plate she was drying off with a towel. Tonight it was their turn to do the dishes after dinner and usually Peter had no problem with doing his part and contribute to this place that gave him a roof over his head and the opportunity to get his educational path back on track. Only tonight it was a little more stressful than usually, which might be Jubilee’s fault. Of course, Peter would be much faster would he be allowed to do this chore alone. Most people were just slowing him down. The only person able to not be a burden in this regard was Kurt.

»I'm not mean to Kurt.« He sighed and couldn't hide the annoyance from his voice as he handed her the next plate to rub dry and put away. »I'm just teasing him a bit.«

»Well, I don't think he perceives it as being teased, though.« She frowned and though Peter understood that she just tried to be a good friend, it was incredibly hard not to get angry with her. »Just keep in mind that he's new to this country and this school, right? He isn't used to pranks like this, probably, and he is not used to how things are handled in this school.«

»He isn't used to how things are handled in _any_ school, Jubilee.« He could almost feel her shocked look as if he had spat out the most horrible insult she had ever heard.

»Peter!«

»What? It's true, isn't it?« With a final sigh, after he gave her the last plate and pulled the plug from the sink, he turned his back to the sink to lean against it. »Listen, Jubilee, I get that you want to help him and that you want to take care of him. We all do. I am his friend just like you are, but you cannot coddle him. He has never been to a school before, he has a hard time getting used to everything but coddling him and keeping him from reality, isn't going to help him. He does not need a _safe space_ or some crap like this. Avoidance is not the right way to deal with something difficult. Kurt is a fighter, he is much stronger than you think and I believe he can handle my pranks.«

»And what makes you so sure about that? I mean, yes, some of your pranks are funny, but today he made a complete fool out of himself in front of the entire school because he wanted to help you, because he wanted to be a good friend to you! Everyone is laughing at him now! Have you even thought about that before you got him to do all of this?«

No, he hadn't. He was Pietro Maximoff and he rarely thought about things like this. He was always the clown and he was used to getting laughed at. He was playing his part. »Kurt is a showman, Jubilee. He has grown up in a circus, for Christ sake. I think he can handle being laughed at.«

»And what if he can't? Its worse enough that he’s homesick and misses his family, but you always have to make things worse for him! He's going to leave if you keep on doing crap like this to him!«

Finally, he had enough and slammed his hands a little harder on the counter behind him than needed to, before he turned his face to glare at the much shorter Asian girl. »He does not need your _protection_ , Jubilee. Once and for all, stop trying to protect him from things that aren't even bothering him! And stay out of my hair just because you got your panties up in a bunch all the time, okay? If you want him, just tell him already and I am sure he will be glad to be your boyfriend - though I honestly doubt that he would think he had a choice anyway.«

As Jubilee’s cheeks turned red, Peter was long gone and slammed the door to his room shut behind him.

He shouldn't have told her that. He shouldn't have been so cruel. Unlike him, Jubilee was just a teenage girl after all. She was only sixteen and had a cute teen crush on some strange blue elfish German guy who was himself too cute to know it. It wasn't fair for Peter, a grown man in his twenties, to go after her, a teenage girl that was experiencing probably her first real crush, like this and yet he couldn't take it back and he couldn't take it anymore either. He couldn't take her being around Kurt that much, touching him every time she wanted something from him, even if it was just his attention that she wanted. But what he hated the most of all things was not the touching of his hair or shoulders or arms, it was when she would hold onto his tail so that he wouldn't wander off and get lost whenever all of them would go to the mall to play some games at the arcades. She acted as if it wouldn't bother him and Kurt would never say that it did, but Peter was pretty sure that it was bothering him. Only Kurt was too nice to say something - especially as he was the new kid and didn't want to scare off his new friends. Kurt was-

 _No_ . Peter sighed as he leaned with his back heavily against the door of his room. No that wasn't cool. He was doing the same thing Jubilee did, didn't he? He was _assuming_ what Kurt thought and liked and wanted. And that was the real problem, wasn't it? All of them only assumed to know what was going on inside that blue head of Kurt's, but no one ever really asked the elf what he felt or wanted. Jubilee assumed that he was homesick, but none of them had ever asked him if he was missing his home and the people he called his family. To be honest, Peter, selfish as he was, had never even thought about it.

But yes, Kurt was all alone here in the states and for all Peter knew, he had not gotten any kind of mail from home. And how should he? Kurt hadn't talked much about the time before Mystique had found him, only about the circus and about his first fight with Angel and how terrifying it had been to him, how much he had hated fighting against the other mutant. The only thing he had told Peter when they had been sharing a room and sitting on Kurt's bed to watch a movie in their dimly lit room, huddled together closely under their blankets, was that he had been kidnapped before all of this had started. The memory of how quietly he had told him about this experience, still sent shivers down his spine. Kurt hadn't said much, only that he had been with his captors for quite a while, at least a few weeks, if not months, and Peter had not dared to ask him more about it. He had looked sad at the moment and Peter had rather flung his arm around Kurt's narrow shoulders and pulled him closer only to then mock him for something stupid that he couldn't even recall anymore. Now, looking back, he felt like the biggest idiot. Kurt had laughed about his joke then, but Peter was sure now that he had wanted to talk about the darker things in his life, that he had wanted to confide in someone truly and he, the childish idiot that he was, had panicked. He had not been ready for dark secrets in their friendship yet.

Hell, and here he was, telling Jubilee off. What a fine friend he was…

The next day felt slow like old chewing gum that was stuck under the sole of some pair of even older sneakers. No matter how often Peter looked at his watch, the time just did not seem to go by. Well, that was one of the downsides to his power he assumed. Sometimes, time and everything around him was just too slow and he had never been particularly good at being patient or sitting still for long periods of time - which was only one of the reasons why he had dropped out of high school.

Making the decision to catch up on his high school diploma and maybe even a college degree had not been easy, but the Professor had given him all the time he had needed and in the end it had been Kurt who helped him make the decision. Peter had spent days just watching his former roommate how he had desperately tried to catch up on things during his time-out with Peter and somehow, well, it must have inspired him to work just as hard as Kurt was. He wasn't dumb either, oh no, quite the contrary actually. He was very intelligent, very clever, only that being in school had always been his personal worst nightmare and so everyday he had played pranks on his fellow students until no one had wanted to hang around with him any longer. Every day he had gotten in trouble for something stupid that he did.

Things were different here. Maybe because he was older now. He was an adult now. He understood what being an adult really meant now. And then there was Kurt who had never been able to go to school. Being able to go to school was so natural for kids in the U.S. that Peter had never really thought about this privilege they had, unlike Kurt, who never had the chance to set foot into a normal school. Now Kurt was all the more eager to learn everything he had missed and thus could mostly be found in the library. He was quite the bookworm, actually.

Today, however, Jean and he had the library to themselves for now. Kurt was out with Scott after Scott had apparently convinced Kurt to go running with him in the park. It was part of their training as X-Men, Scott had told them with Kurt beaming behind him in excitement. He hadn't said a word to Peter because of the prank he had pulled on the elf yesterday, but knowing that Kurt was a prankster himself, Peter was pretty sure that Kurt would soon get his revenge. Maybe he should not think about it too much, Peter thought. Then again, he was only thinking about this so that he could further ignore the stare that Jean held fixed on his face for the last ten minutes already.

Finally, with a low grunt, Peter lowered his book and looked at her. She didn't waste any time to tell him what was on her mind. »This wasn't cool, you know? She came crying to me because you were mean to her.«

»Who?« Oh, he knew full well who she meant and somehow he doubted that Jubilee came crying to Jean. She was maybe a bit too girly for his liking, but she was most certainly no crybaby.

»You know who.« Jean frowned. »Jubilee, don't act stupider than you really are.«

Playing stupid had always been something Peter was exceptionally good at, but Jean was right, he knew that it hadn't been cool how he had treated her. He owed her an apology and yet, Jubilee was not even looking at him anymore. Still, he, as the adult, should go and talk to her, he guessed. It would be the sensible thing to do. »I know, but it's the truth, isn't it? If she's in love with Kurt, she should just tell him and live happily ever after and have lots of blue children.« The world would profit from more little blue demons like Kurt, he was sure of that. Everything would just be a bit nicer and more polite - and reeking of sulfur, probably. Then again, Professor Xavier would get a nervous breakdown if there was another kid always dangling upside down from his most favorite chandelier during dinner.

»She’s scared that he might turn her down.« Jean said with the face of a girl who thought that it was self-evident for anyone that Jubilee was scared of being rejected. It was either a girl-thing or a telepath-thing, one could never be too sure when it came to Jean Grey.

»And why would he do that?« Peter scoffed. Jubilee was far from being ugly and any boy would surely be glad if a girl like her, cute and geeky, would ask them out. _He_ would have been glad during high school if a girl like her had fancied him. »She’s cute, he’s cute, and they would be cute together. Kurt is much too kind and polite to tell her no anyway. Just look at the clothes she made him buy. He hates them, but he doesn't dare to say a word. « Purple really wasn't Kurt's color, yet, he would wear the ugly purple T-Shirt Jubilee had made him buy to make her happy.

»That's another problem with them, I guess. He is too polite and she doesn't want him to go out with her just because he doesn't want to hurt her.« Jean sighed as she tried to get her focus back on her homework, only to finally give up and lean back in her chair. The way she was looking at him made Peter think she saw some kind of oracle in him, as if he had already figured everything out just because he was past eighteen.

»I'm sure he will say yes not just out of politeness but because he likes her.« It was the right thing to say, he supposed, but in the end, he hoped that Kurt would just want to be polite. It was, of course, quite selfish and dumb to think this way, but Peter couldn't help it. He didn't want to put the level of interest he felt for Kurt into the proper terms because this way it would become real and he didn't want to deal with it just yet, but he was also very aware of what it really meant _and_ that it could not happen anyway. It was not just the social thing, it was also the age gap between them. He was twenty-three and Kurt was seventeen. It was odd enough that his best friend was blue, German, and six years younger than him. He didn't need more oddity in his life, he guessed.

»She doesn't think so.« Jean said and for a second Peter was sure that he could see the ghost of a smirk on her face. Miss Know-it-all was snooping around in his head again. Time to think about donkeys.

»They are always hanging around each other, Jeanie. _Of course_ he likes her. Hell, he is around her more than he is around me and I am his best friend!« Peter even made an effort out of sounding affronted just for the sake of it.

»Well, she told me that Kurt would always only talk about you, though. Jubilee doesn't mean to be mean to you, okay? She’s just jealous and she's just unsure what to make of all of this, you know? She likes him much but she doesn’t want to drive him into a corner by asking him about his feelings. She is afraid that he might just start dating her because he doesn’t want to be open about his true feelings. And who could blame him? These things are far from being easy anyway.« No one had ever said that being a teenager and in love was easy, Peter guessed. He knew this all too well himself. Yes, he had had his fair share of puppy love crushes and he knew exactly what was going on in a teenager’s head when being in love.

Still, Jean’s words had managed to catch him off guard a little. »What do you mean by _jealous_ and why shouldn't he be open about his true feelings?«

»You forget that I am a mind reader, Petey. It would be like cheating if I would give you all the answers.« With that, Jean Grey gathered her belongings in her arms, gave him one last quick little smirk and left him behind all alone in the library to deal with his own stupid homework.

Now that autumn was approaching in big steps and that the days were getting shorter again, the nights were growing colder and colder too. Still, he and Kurt liked to meet on the roof to just hang around and talk about stupid stuff. He had managed to get Kurt into comic books as of late. Apparently, those did exist in Germany, but Kurt had never got his claws on them before. »Have you read this?« Kurt turned to Peter with his new Batman comic in hand and pointed sharply at one of the panels. »I can't believe it! I mean, I always knew that the Joker was evil and stuff, but I always kinda liked him, you know?«

Peter laughed as he sunk back on the roof and cushioned his head with his crossed arms. The sun had already gone down a few minutes ago and the first stars were visible above their heads. It was late and Professor McCoy would yell at them if he would find them up here past their bedtime. Well, Peter was an adult. Hank always said ‘Pete, I have no right to tell you when to go to bed, since you are an adult, but do not influence Kurt to stay up this late’. Well, he was a bad influence, after all.

»Oh Kurtie, you are such a sweetheart, always seeing the good in people - even the evil ones.« Even in him, he figured.

With a frown Kurt turned towards him. »Well, no one is truly evil.«

»No, no of course not, Blueberry.« He sighed. »Not even the men who forced you to fight in a cage fight against dear old Birdie McBird for their own personal gain and amusement.« Maybe it was not nice to bring it up again, after he was the only person who knew about this, except for Raven, of course. Kurt had told him in private about the incident in East Berlin before Raven had rescued him, and to throw it at him like this was quite the douche-move, he supposed. Maybe, a part of him thought, he tried to scare off Kurt with things like this.

Kurt closed his comic and lowered his yellow eyes to the ground. _Shit_ , Peter thought, _now you really struck a nerve_ . Kurt looked lost for a moment, but then he shrugged his shoulders. »No, I guess, not even them.« He then murmured. »No one is born evil, Peter. God created us all equally and with a good heart. But some people stray from the right path, that is all. They can still redeem themselves if they want to.«

»And if they don't want to redeem themselves?« Peter scoffed quietly. A part of him was not sure if they were still talking about those assholes in Germany.

»Then it's on us to pray for their souls and have pity for them.« Typical Kurt, he guessed. Peter had known religious people in his past, they were quite heavily represented in suburban areas, always running to church on the weekends to confess their sins they had committed during the week, just to do the same as soon as Monday would roll around. He had never managed to get behind this and though he was Jewish and had celebrated Jewish holidays with his family in the past, he had never really been religious. To him all those people were just hypocrites. They were praying and visiting church, always eager to make a good impression on their neighbors and always quick to point their fingers judgingly at those who didn't follow the same path or struggled a bit in life, like his mother, while they were the biggest sinners anyway. They would run around, whispering behind their backs about his mother not having a husband, but two children from two different men, celebrating Sunday mass and later go and fuck some stranger in the streets or beat their spouse.

Kurt Wagner, however, was a whole different story. He was believing in God in earnest and Peter could respect that. He did commit sins like every other human being to, and he was confessing them to God, but Kurt never even tried to hide that fact. He was only human, despite - or maybe because of - his mutation and the way he looks. Hell, in a way, this little blue German demon, was more human than any other human being Peter had ever met.

»So you are trying to tell me that you do not hate those men for making you fight against Angel and for taking you away from your family?«

»I hate no one, Petey.« Kurt sighed. » _Hate_ is the first step on a path of no return. I pity them because their only God is profit and I can only feel sorry for them for feeling this way because they will never get to experience the unconditional love God has for us. But I do not hate them. Besides, yes, they kidnapped me, but I made the first step away from my family after all. I didn't tell you this, but I … Well, I ran away from home … somewhat. I wanted adventure and I thought that I, _the incredible Nightcrawler_ , would have no problem making it on my own. _Verdammt_ . I should have known it better, you know? Every time I strayed from the herd, I got lost or in trouble. _Trotzdem_ … I left home and they got me. I spent a long time in captivity with those people. They beat me, they shocked me, they paraded me around naked, they spat on me and left me hungry in a moldy cell, but I still don't hate them, I guess.«

»But how?« Peter frowned as he finally sat up and grabbed onto Kurt's shoulder out of sheer instinct. Kurt had never told him that he had been tortured before and now it made his stomach turn to even think about it. »In their eyes you are a monster and they treated you like one and still you don't hate them? Kurt, even you are allowed to feel anger!«

»But anger is not the same as hate, Peter. Yes, I do feel angry. I’m angry at myself for being so naive and I'm angry at them for hurting me, but I forgave them a long time ago.« Only shortly he glanced at Peter and he could see the inner turmoil of his best friend in those yellow eyes. He had turned a stone that he shouldn't have touched and now Kurt had to deal with it again just because Peter had been an idiot once again. Fuck. »You know, Father Michael once told me that nothing happened without a reason and I do believe he is right. God has a plan for all of us and maybe this was part of the plan he has for me. I wouldn't have gotten here, if God wouldn't have planted the seed of wanting an adventure in my head and if I wouldn't have left my family behind to follow this impulse. Maybe it was all meant to be. My own hero’s journey, I suppose. I had to hit rock bottom before I was able to overcome my demons and become a hero, an X-Men and be there when I was needed to be there.«

Peter couldn't help but to fling his left arm around Kurt's narrow shoulders to pull him a little closer. He was not even surprised to hear these things out of Kurt's mouth and he wondered if he himself had already hit rock bottom and became the hero he was apparently supposed to be. He thought about his mother, about his home and was quick to shake those thoughts off again. Now was not the time. »Jubilee likes you, you know?«

 

**-End of Chapter 2-**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Translation:
> 
> Nein - No  
> Wunderbar - Wonderful  
> "Au mein Kopf" - "Ouch my head"  
> Mein Gott - My God

It was not often the case that Pietro Maximoff started to feel worried for another person around him, yet, Kurt Wagner had achieved exactly that. Since all of them had started their training to become _proper_ X-Men and build up the muscle mass and skills needed to achieve exactly that, Peter could witness firsthand how the poor blue idiot was overstraining his body day in and day out. It was not that he was a stalker, but he rarely slept and thus roamed around the property quite a lot to go on the hunt for snacks or do anything productive. He happened to see things. And thus he happened to see Kurt on his morning runs with Scott quite a lot lately, whenever Peter was leisurely strolling around the property.

Peter had not said anything as Scott had turned to Kurt a few weeks ago and asked him if Kurt wanted to join him on his morning jog, he had only rolled his eyes and made some stupid comment towards Mr. Shades. Back in that moment, Peter had not thought too much of it anyway. Why shouldn’t Kurt join Scott? Well, the thing was, Kurt had not the same stamina as Scott, who was a sports guy anyway. Not that Kurt wasn't sporty, after all, he was an acrobat, but there was a difference between being an acrobat and a guy who used to play football. Kurt was fast and he had long legs to use to his advantage, yes. He was even faster than Scott and thus the only person who could keep up with Peter, whenever Mystique ordered them into a competition - without powers. But all of these facts did not change that Kurt was not used to all this training.  

All that exercise and their additional practice and training in the danger room or the gym took its toll not only on Kurt but on all of them. Even Peter had days when he would just fall into his bed at night and wanted to never get up again. Sometimes he wondered if Raven demanded too much of them, especially of the teens. Peter was a different case, he assumed. He was an adult and he knew his limits. He knew how far he was able to go without doing serious damage to his body, but Jean, Ororo, Scott, and Kurt were teenagers and thus Raven had the responsibility for their well-being and injuries that might occur.

»Aren't you overdoing it a little?« Peter sighed as he watched his best friend stretching before his evening jog in the park. The air was quite warm today as if the summer was rearing up one last time before giving into autumn’s reign. During the entire day, the air inside the mansion had been stuffy and outside it was moist and gross. Even though Peter had not done much today, except their mandatory practice in the danger room before school and yet he felt sweaty and disgusting already. Yet, he had agreed to meet the others in the gym after Scott and Kurt's jogging round. The truth was, he had only agreed to that because he liked to see Kurt spar with their teacher and he knew that Mystique wanted to practice fencing again with Kurt today.  

» _Nein, nein._ « Kurt smirked and for a moment, Peter felt entranced by the sight of Kurt stretching his long legs. He was wearing his usual second-hand black shorts and a loose fitting black shirt which somehow managed to underline just how slim the boy really was. His legs too. Compared to Scott, they were stick thin. »It's alright, really. I know my limits.« Of course, he would say that. Kurt would never admit it, but it was important to him what his friends might think of him and he did not want to look like a pansy, so he would put up with all the extra training Scott had on his mind even though he was already at his limit. Apparently, Scott was glad to have found someone who shared his enthusiasm for sports, after Peter was not really the kind of guy for all this unnecessary running around. Not that he wouldn't go jogging, but to him, his had little to no gain anyway. Maybe he did not like to go jogging with those two because it would remind him of his past too much - but he would never admit to those feelings, of course.

Peter found it hard not to admire Kurt’s left leg as he put his left foot on the bench Peter sat on to stretch. His running shoes looked uncomfortable, but Kurt insisted on wearing shoes for running. Perhaps he just wanted to be a little more normal and so Peter would often see him trying on shoes that would not fit. Then again, it was only a matter of time now until Hank would finally come up with a solution for Kurt’s shoe problem. If anyone, Hank would understand.

»Well, I sure hope you do, little Blueberry.« Gently he smacked Kurt’s left shoulder, but his friend only made a grimace as if he had bitten into a lemon. Kurt had already told him before that he did not like the nickname, still, he would sometimes smirk when hearing it so Peter kept using it without shame. He turned his attention to Scott who just finished stretching and had his face turned their way, waiting for his friend to finish and join him. »And you, Scottie-boy, take care that the elf is not overdoing it, okay? He has barely eaten anything today and both of you should not underestimate the weather.« He was aware that he sounded like a mother and for a brief second, he thought about his little sister. God, he missed the little brat. Often enough he had mothered her as he was doing now, reminding Wanda to eat properly and to have breakfast before she would run off to school. A smirk tried to creep up on him. He should soon visit them again, he guessed.

»Yes, Mum.« Scott replied in this annoying tone of voice he sometimes liked to use before he and Kurt finally took off. Still, Peter couldn't help but feel a little satisfied as he noticed how Kurt turned to look at him over his shoulder again with this cute mischievous little grin of his, showing off his fangs before he turned around again to not run into a tree - It would not be the first time. Having this grin thrown at him was nothing special, he knew that, and yet it made his heart jump a little higher than usual. It was stupid and childish and absolutely uncalled for and so, with a sigh, Peter rose from the bench and headed back inside.

»Kurt, focus!« Raven’s voice was as sharp as the blade in her right hand as she nearly slit the left sleeve of Kurt’s fencing suit. The shout that was echoing through the gym caught Peter’s attention and he almost lost focus of his own exercise. Suddenly his weights were heavier than usual as he lowered the dumbbell to rest it on its supports.

The Professor had not shied away from taking money into his hands as he had built the gym, that much was certain. It was quite large with all kinds of different machines for cardio or weight training along the walls and a larger space in the middle where they would spar with each other - or fence, in the case of Kurt and Raven as of right now. To Peter, it was still a mystery why Raven demanded to use sharp blades for practice, but she had told him that there would not be fucking around this way. When there was real danger involved the participants in the exercise would automatically be more serious.

Kurt had picked up fencing as the only one of their young team, much to Mystique’s delight, while most of them had picked up hand-to-hand combat. But of course, since hand-to-hand combat was mandatory, Kurt was learning this skill just like the rest of them, but he was clearly better in fencing. Kurt had everything a good sword fighter needed, apparently. He was tall, thin, athletic and fast and that he was quite the good dancer and incredibly light-footed, only added to his advantage. So him picking up fencing was quite the obvious choice and had hardly surprised anyone. The only time Kurt Wagner had truly surprised them was when he had enrolled in the dancing lessons and proven to anyone that he didn't need them at all. Prick. The girls had been all over him.

Well, who could blame them?

As Peter finished his set and sat up on the bench to catch his breath, his eyes were still glued to the two fencers and he noticed that he was not the only one watching them. Seeing them practice was always quite thrilling but by now they were all used to the sight. Scott was still on the treadmill as if he had not just come back from his jogging round with Kurt. Idiot. Then again, judging by the look Jean shot Kurt and Raven as she looked up from her exercise, Peter was probably also not the only one who noticed that Kurt was quite unfocused today and not as stable on his feet as usually as he parried another one of Raven’s blows. He was way too passive today and let himself be pushed into a corner quite easily.

After Raven almost managed to slit his suit open once more, she had enough, apparently. »I think it's enough for today, Kurt.« She frowned as she took off her mask and eyed him sternly. Only then Kurt too took off his own mask. He looked exhausted and his dark sweaty hair clung to his forehead. Peter expected him to refuse and to ask that they would continue, but instead, he nodded, his breath heavy and shaking. Raven was quite the stern teacher, she never let anyone of them off the hook easily and wanted them to move their limits farther and farther with every day, but apparently today Kurt had reached his limit and she was able to see that. »Good job.« She told him despite his lack of aggression in their session and gently patted his shoulder. »Go take a shower and then I don't want to see you in here again for the rest of the week.«

Well, judging by the fact that it was Friday evening, Mystique's order was lacking some serious impact. Still, Kurt nodded again and left the gym with his head hanging low, his shoulders slumped in defeat and his tail dragging sadly over the ground behind him. He was done. He was the embodiment of being done and it was incredibly adorable. Like a tiny tired kitten dragging itself through the house refusing to sleep adorable.

With a smirk, Peter took on his weights again and finished off his own training for the day without thinking too much about Kurt again. Of course, he could not deny that he was glad that Mystique had told him that he was done training for the week, but he was also very aware that this would not stop Kurt from going on his jogging rounds with Scott. He would later bring him something to eat, he decided. Maybe they could watch a movie together and just relax a bit. They had worked hard this week and Peter thought that they both could use a timeout. It was Friday night after all and there was no practice scheduled for tomorrow. He would ask Kurt if he wanted to go to the movies with him tomorrow. Well, unless Jubilee would beat him to it. She had started to hover around Kurt again quite a bit.

Maybe he should not have told Kurt that Jubilee liked him, he mused as he finally walked towards the locker room to take a shower and change. He could as well shower in his own bathroom, but, he figured, he might as well do it now before changing into his regular clothes and stink them up - mostly because they were his only set of clean clothes left by now. He really needed to do the laundry this weekend. Maybe he could get Kurt to join him in this tedious chore. Surely, the elf needed clean clothes too. Ever since he had told Kurt about Jubilee’s feeling towards him, Kurt seemed a little more uncomfortable around the girl. Well, since Peter wasn't exactly a Samaritan, the change was very welcome to him, but he felt a little bad for Jubilee and for Kurt. It was obvious that the German boy did not know how to behave around her now that he knew Jubilee’s dark secret, although it had not clicked in his brain immediately what Peter had meant as he told him that she _liked_ Kurt. Apparently, Kurt had not deemed it possible that someone could like him like this and that realization had hit Peter quite hard.

As he entered the locker room and went straight to his own locker, he noticed that he could still hear the shower running. This was … odd, judging by Kurt’s typical behavior. Kurt was always quite fast when showering and Peter could only suspect that he did not like being seen naked by his friends or something silly like that as a reason for him always hurrying under the shower. Even during their time as roommates, unlike Peter, Kurt had always entered the bathroom dressed and came back into the room redressed. Well, maybe he was so exhausted that he decided to take his time today, Peter figured. But would he not prefer a bath if he was really that exhausted?

After he had climbed out of his own sweaty workout clothes and changed into his towel, he leisurely walked towards the shower room, a whistle on his lips to make Kurt aware of his presence inside the locker room and give him time to finish whatever he was doing - just in case Kurt really was ashamed and wanted to hide his body. While Scott would probably mock him for that, Peter could understand him perfectly well in this regard - and who really knew if Kurt might hide some other mutated body parts from them? As he entered the showers, there was no Kurt. The shower that his friend had supposedly used was still running and the steam from the hot water was fogging the air, but there was no Kurt standing under the shower.

Confused, Peter raised one eyebrow and slowly walked around the half wall that was separating the entrance of the room from the row of four showers alongside the wall, all separated by the same half walls where they usually threw their towels and soaps over.

There was something blue lying on the ground in the still running shower, the first shower closest to the door, to be more precise. It took Peter the entirety of two seconds to connect the blue thing with his best friend, oddly enough, but as it finally clicked, Peter dropped everything he was holding and was beside Kurt before his shower gel and shampoo could even smack down on the tiles.

»Kurt!« He yelled without even thinking about shutting off the shower first as he crouched down beside Kurt’s naked body lying face down on the tiles. His dark hair clung to his face in thick wet streaks, his eyes were closed. There was a tiny bit of blood that was being washed away by the running shower and as he immediately started looking for the source, he found a wound on Kurt’s forehead after he turned Kurt on his side carefully. »Fuck!« He hissed as Kurt did not respond to him immediately - even as Peter gently slapped his cheek, there was no response. With shaking fingers, Peter searched for his pulse and found it, as he pressed his fingertips hard into Kurt’s wrist. It was weak but it was definitely there and his breathing was to be described as shallow at best. Still, it was definitely there. Kurt was alive, just unconscious. This realization helped to ease his mind just a little, but it was enough so that Peter could focus on handling the situation.

Peter didn't care what might have happened that caused Kurt to hit his head and pass out from it. The only thing that mattered was that he would get him to Hank, at best. Without any more hesitation, he searched for Kurt’s towel and found it on the half wall on his right-hand side. There was a bit of blood on the edge of the wall too, so apparently, Kurt had hit his head there, probably as he had turned to grab his towel. Maybe he had spun around too quickly as he had heard the door to the locker room, lost his footing and slipped, Peter wondered. It was either that or that he had passed out from exhaustion. Both scenarios were equally bad, he assumed, but in the first, it would be his arrival that had caused the injury and in the second scenario, Scott and Raven would have been in part to blame for the situation. Scott because he had convinced Kurt to all this unnecessary amount of exercise and Raven for being extra tough on Kurt. He liked the latter option much better. Quickly, Peter wrapped the towel around Kurt’s hips to give the blue elf at least a tiny bit of privacy back and could not help but to note that, no, Kurt was not hiding other mutated body parts from them, before he scooped him up in his arms.

On his way out he almost ran into Scott who just walked into the locker room. »What the hell is going on?« Scott exclaimed as he jumped out of the way to escape the collision. Peter didn't want to stop and yet he did, if only briefly while his impulses told him to go full speed. Kurt hung almost lifeless on his arms like a ragdoll. He seemed to weigh nothing at all at this very moment, but of course, he was dimly aware that this was just the adrenaline speaking.

»He hit his head. I get him to Professor McCoy.« Peter was out of the locker room before Scott could even say ‘but’. For the rest of the world, he was just a silver gust of wind that was sweeping through the hallways of the mansion before he came to a slithering halt in Hank McCoy’s lab.

The rest of what happened next was a blur, even to someone as fast as Peter. As Hank recognized the situation for what it was, he did not waste time to practically steal Kurt from Peter’s arms and the speedster was left with a sudden feeling of emptiness as his heart was beating way too fast in his chest. He only got to watch how Hank placed the young teen on the bed that was standing on the right-hand side of the lab. »How long has he been out?« Hank asked, calm as always. Of course, he kept his cool, he was Hank McCoy after all. And now his brain was just making up stupid excuses. _Wunderbar_.

»I don't know. I found him like this. He headed to the showers maybe ten minutes before me and when I got there he was already knocked out cold.« Peter didn't know what to do with his hands so he clenched and unclenched his fists just to busy them. Suddenly, he became very aware that he was only wearing a towel because a cold shiver was running down his spine as a bit of wind came through the open window of the lab. Hank liked to have at least one window open while working. He crossed the arms in front of his chest. Despite the fact that he was naked underneath his towel he couldn't care less, really. He wanted to help but he was afraid he would just make things worse for his best friend - and what would he be able to do anyway?

»Was there blood?« Hank asked as he was leaning over Kurt’s face and examined the wound before forcing open Kurt's eyes to have a look at them.

»Yes… But only a small amount. I don't know how much he had been bleeding before the water washed it away.« He could feel how he was getting more and more nervous while Hank got more and more relaxed. He saw him checking Kurt's pulse and was not too sure if Hank hadn't done this only a few moments ago. Nothing really made sense to his weird brain at the moment and he had troubles to follow. Suddenly, he felt more like a headless chicken than anything else and that just because his friend had hit his head. He felt horribly silly. As if this would have been the first time one of them had injured their heads. By now this was an almost monthly occurrence really. Just like being put on probation for being stupid and forced to clean the danger room. Then again, this was an almost monthly occurrence that only ever seemed to face Peter and Kurt for pulling stupid pranks on their teammates. In fact, Kurt was so often seen sweeping the floors that some might mistake him for the custodian.

»Do you have any idea what lead to this? Do you think he slipped on the tiles?« How in the world was he supposed to know that? How in the world could he even ask such irrelevant questions as if they would be important now? How- _Oh_. Suddenly it dawned on him that Hank just tried to distract him. What a prick.

But it worked. Not the distraction-thing. No. Just the realization that Hank tried to distract him made Peter realize that it was probably not so bad after all and that, in the end, did the trick. Fucking prick. With a sigh, he forced himself to calm down and drag his right hand over his face. »I don't know.« He said as final as he could to signalize his own body to just calm the fuck down and relax. As long as Hank was not losing his shit, everything was fine. »Well, he could have slipped, I suppose. But he was quite exhausted as he went to the showers - I mean more than usual after his training. I think he might have overdone it a bit lately. He started working out with Scott, you know? Jogging, every morning and evening, then our usual training and gym exercise every other day and this stupid diet Scott started with and got him involved in too. I told him just hours ago that he should be careful not to overdo it! But you know Kurt, he doesn't listen!« He then groaned with a short glare at the still unconscious boy. Now there was a bit of anger creeping into his brain and pushing the worry away. Oh, he would tell Scott a few things as soon as he would see him again. Mr. Shades McGee would soon wish he had never been born…

He only jolted back into the reality of things as Hank patted his shoulder with the usual friendly smile on his lips. »Don't worry, he’ll be back on his feet in no time. Well, of course, I can't say for sure that he is not suffering from a concussion just now, but the wound is only superficial by the looks of it. We have to wait and see. But, no matter if it's a concussion or just a minor wound, you will take care that he stays in bed until I say otherwise, alright?« Peter’s eyes were quick to shift back to his friend on the bed before he nodded quietly. Of course, he would make him stay in bed if Hank thought that Kurt needed the time-out. Only now he really had the time and leisure to take in what he saw as he glanced at his friend. Kurt was even leaner than he had thought. Yes, he had seen him change before, but he had never quite  _looked_ at him. Well, he didn't want to be creepy and thus had never outright stared and watched his friend change, of course! After all, he was six years older than Kurt! But now he got the chance to look at him in full and grew aware of what Kurt was hiding from them when he refused to change in front of them.

»Isn't he a bit too thin?« Peter scowled as he glanced at the Professor who was already back at one of his cabinets to probably look for something. Hank threw a glance over his shoulder at Kurt and hummed in agreement.

»We will feed him up a bit I guess. He should definitely eat more and stop whatever stupid diet he is on.« Hank sighed and added something that sounded a lot like ‘ _kids these days'._  »This diet thing might work for a boy like Scott, but is probably just the wrong fit for someone like Kurt.«

But it was true, Kurt was too thin. Of course, he was an acrobat and an athlete, but even for that standard, Peter was sure he was too thin. His hip bones were protruding sharply from beneath the towel that Peter had wrapped around his slim hips and his legs were even thinner than he had thought just hours ago in the park. He didn't look unhealthily thin either, just … too thin. He could see his ribs now that he was lying flat on his back like this and the bones of his shoulders were sharp against his skin - just as sharp as his jaw line. Kurt was by no means unattractive as he had to admit now that he was able to look at him in full like this. Despite his tail, that was dangling lifelessly from the edge of the bed, or his toes or his fingers, or the color of his skin, he was still attractive in his own way. He had a pretty face, no one could deny that he figured. And in the end, it was not his looks that decided about his attractiveness anyway, but his character and the way he would behave.

Peter pulled up a chair to the bed and sat down heavily on it with a sigh. »Hell … Because of this idiot, I ran through the mansion almost naked.« He groaned. »Thank God I'm so fast. I could have traumatized someone.« His heart was still beating fast in his chest, but Hank only chuckled as he came back to the bed to further check on Kurt and stick a band aid to the small wound on Kurt’s forehead.

»I’m sure it wouldn't have been all too bad.« He teased with a sparkle of mischief in his eyes. For Peter, it was sometimes harder to look at Hank as a teacher like the others did. Same was true for Professor X, he assumed. He respected their authority here, but they understood each other on a different level.

Now at least he had a bit of time to notice that the scars that he thought were only covering Kurt's face and neck were in truth covering his entire body. There were all kinds of beautifully designed lines and curves and symbols marked on his body, and even disappearing just underneath the towel. He wondered what they meant and felt ridiculous and self-centered for never having asked him before. He would make sure to ask him soon, though.

To his relief, it only took a few more minutes before Kurt opened his eyes again with a deep groan that almost sounded a bit too demonic considering his looks. » _Au … mein Kopf…_ « Somehow Peter had a hard time feeling sympathy for his idiot friend. True, it was Scott who was to blame (as he was in most cases) for getting Kurt involved in this fitness mania of his after he knew just as well as everyone else that Kurt had a hard time just saying no to any of them. The poor guy still thought he needed to be polite with them. Still it was Kurt who should have known his limits and take it slow. It took Kurt a moment to get his eyes used to the light inside the room before he could even look around and then find Peter beside his bed. »What happened?« He murmured. He did not even seem to be put off by Peter’s appearance, sitting at his bedside almost completely naked and with his arms crossed like a stern parent. Then again, since Peter usually slept only in his boxer shorts, he had seen him often enough half naked to not be surprised. Only as he saw Hank when the Professor came back to the bed to check on him, he did seem honestly surprised.

»You hit your head in the showers, you big blue idiot.« Peter sighed and was tempted to ruffle his friend’s fluffy wet hair that was now slightly curling at the ends, but didn't. He rather let Hank tend to Kurt and waited in his chair with a dark scowl on his face. »I hope you are aware that you have to make it up to me, right? It was the shock of a lifetime! I'm sure that I got grey hairs!«

Despite his condition, these words made Kurt smirk at him. Little shit.

It was much later than Peter had anticipated as he crashed at Kurt's room. Hank had asked him to keep an eye on his friend during the night just in case and so, after first getting Kurt back to his room, Peter had gone to his own room to put on some clothes and came back to Kurt now. He had almost expected to find him asleep, but Kurt was still awake and sitting a bit disheveled on his bed. He had not even managed to change into his pajamas during the short moments Peter had been away and was now only dressed in a pair of grey boxer shorts and a loose black muscle shirt that was much too large for him anyway - like most of the hand-me-downs he wore. »I’m sure the others will break down your door comes morning.« Peter smirked as he closed said door in his back. He had wanted to get Kurt something proper to eat, but since he had not wanted to waste time in going to the kitchen, Peter had just taken a pack of Twinkies from his stash. It was not much and could not substitute for a real dinner, but it was something to eat and for now that sufficed. He doubted that Kurt would get down much anyway. He looked a bit paler than usual anyway.

»Why should they?« Kurt asked as baffled as only he was able to. Despite all that time he had spend with his new found friends in the institute in the last few months, Kurt still seemed not to understand how much he was really liked.

»To see if our favorite German friend is still alive of course.« Peter smirked before planting himself next to Kurt on the bed. He would certainly not sleep on the floor just to keep an eye on his friend, and though it would be much too early for him to sleep anyway under normal circumstances, these weren’t normal circumstances and he was tired as hell. »You know, German friends do not fall from trees, so we need to protect the one we got at all costs. Jubilee will surely bring you something to eat and Jean will bring you something to read… You, my dear friend, will be spoiled rotten. Enjoy it while it lasts.«

Kurt rolled his eyes at that but was polite enough to make room for Peter in his bed too as he moved a bit to the side. Unlike Peter, Kurt was a good kid, after all. » _Mein Gott_ « Kurt sighed. »I feel so embarrassed… You had to carry me like a princess!« He protested. Peter expected him to complain about Peter having seen him naked and sure enough, Kurt did not disappoint him. »You saw me naked!« He exclaimed as if it only occurred to him now, but Peter shrug.

»Worse things have happened in my life, Elf.«Apparently Kurt did not get the joke, so Peter continued. »Don't worry about it too much, Kurtie. All that matters is that you get some rest and get better soon, okay?«

He nodded and laid down again to rest his surely hurting head on his pillow, forgetting about putting on his pajamas as he usually would and letting the plaid fabric pool on the floor next to the bed, while Peter got comfortable next to him. His plans for Pizza and a movie had gone flying out of the window and he did not even feel hungry any more anyway. Kurt wouldn't be Kurt would he not continue asking stupid questions, though.

»Did you look?«

The question was so innocent and silly that it made Peter laugh in earnest before he picked one of the Twinkies out of the package and gave it to Kurt. A bit sugar could not hurt the elf. »Oh yes, I had nothing better to do than to inspect your body in the moment. Don’t worry, I took photos so I can study them later in peace.« He teased and Kurt crossed his arms pouting, but grabbed the Twinkie with his tail out of Peter’s hand. It did not take Kurt long to devour the snack before he turned onto his side to face Peter, his tail wiggling unenthusiastically because of Peter’s little joke. »No, of course I didn't look. I was too busy saving your life, thank you very much. Speaking of which, a thank you would be nice.«

»Thank you.« Kurt grinned sheepishly. »Thank you for saving my life, oh great Quicksilver, fastest mutant on earth and best friend a blue fuzzy elf like me could have! I would crawl on my knees before you, but someone told me I should rest, so…«

»Smartass.« Peter laughed as he kicked his shin gently only to get a kick in return. Kurt did not lose his sense of humor at least. »But … well, I couldn't help but notice those scars on your skin…« He began and as it did not seem as if it would make Kurt uncomfortable, he continued. »What do they mean? I’ve meant to ask you a lot earlier about those, actually, but I never got the chance. Did you do this yourself?«

»Yes. They are angelic symbols.« Kurt replied quietly with a bit of pride creeping into his voice.

»You seem to have many of them.« He would have loved to trace the beautifully crafted lines in Kurt's skin with his fingertips and find out how much of his body was really covered in them, but this would surely have been beyond awkward while Kurt had been passed out and now even more.

A smirk pulled on Kurt's lips as he replied. »One for each sin … So quite a few, yes.« He grinned. Yes, that was exactly what he liked so much about the blue prankster. He confessed his sins, he even got as far as to itch them into his skin, but he would never hide the fact that he was a sinner, despite his faith - or maybe because of it.

»Then maybe it would be wise to take it slow, from now on or otherwise there won't be enough space left on your body to keep continue this.« Peter laughed as he carefully ruffled through Kurt’s soft fluffy hair. »And you should take it slow with the training too. I told you that you were overdoing it.«

»Yes, I know and I didn't want to listen… I'm sorry. You were right.« To hear those words was like music in Peter’s ears, after all, he was not often told that he had been right with anything. Hearing those words with Kurt’s strong German accent, made the victory only just so much sweeter.

»Why did you do it anyway?« Peter finally inquired as he himself started to chew on a Twinkie. He was not hungry, no, but he would always be able to eat a Twinkie.

»Scott seemed so happy to have someone who was sharing his interest and it was fun for me too … Only it got a bit out of hand, I guess.« He shrugged with a small grimace pulling on the corners of his mouth. »You know, I miss the circus quite a bit. Back home I practiced for hours each day in the big tent with my brother and sister. I miss this. I didn't run in circles through the woods, though, but I miss the practice a lot…«

»Well, maybe I could convince the Professor to get you a trapeze?« Peter teased before he pulled the blanket over their bodies and aimlessly threw the rest of the Twinkies to the ground beside the bed, much to Kurt’s displeasure. That he was not rising to tidy up said a lot about his condition. Peter was almost tempted to check his temperature. Somehow he wanted to pull Kurt against his chest instead, but he stopped himself from reaching out to him.

»You know, Kurtie, sometimes you do remind me of my little sister Wanda. Of course, I won't say that I understand how you feel being so far removed from your family and your home, but I feel homesick too … Quite a bit actually. And I wonder if my Mom and my sister are alright with me being away from home, you know? Sometimes I want to go back to make sure that they are okay, but I know that this would be just an excuse to go back into my mom’s basement and return to my personal bubble. Still, there have only been me, my mom and my sister and now I wonder if they miss me at all.«

»I know that feeling.« Kurt confessed quietly. »I wonder if my family misses me too.«

And here they were, two boys that were far away from home, missing their families and always doing stupid things just to not feel their aching hearts too much. Maybe this was a little much, Peter knew this, but he felt that this might be the truth why Kurt was always saying yes to everything and getting involved in so many classes and activities with his friends and the reason why Peter played even more pranks on his friends than he usually would. And maybe, just maybe, Kurt wanted to drown out his own nightmares like this too. Just like Peter did with staying up the entire night and wasting his time in playing games.

It was an odd thing, really, but in this night he did not have a nightmare as he slept beside Kurt and as the morning came, he dreaded the upcoming night alone in his own room already.

 

**-End of Chapter 3-**

 


	4. Chapter 4

»What's wrong with you and Kurt?« Of course, it wouldn't take long until at least Jean would notice how Kurt was avoiding him since the early morning. She could as well take the answer right from his mind, Peter thought as he sat down next to her under their favorite large tree in the park. The days when they could sit out here only in a t-shirt and bathe in the warm light of the sun were over, he supposed, but even sitting in a jacket and scarf was nice for a change as long as it meant that they could escape the stuffy air of the school. He was not surprised to not find Kurt out here despite the fact that they would usually meet for lunch under this tree if the weather was good enough. 

He sighed and leaned his head against the tree bark before he looked at his redheaded friend again. Soon Scott and Ororo would join them. Jubilee was probably hovering around Kurt and telling him how mean it had been of Peter to condemn him for using this stupid device this morning. Not that he had condemned it, but surely Kurt thought that he had. He couldn't hold it against him either.

»I fucked up, Jeanie, that’s what’s wrong.« 

»Please do elaborate, you often do fuck up, actually.« She smirked before biting into her sandwich. To her this must be some kind of thrilling novella, at least she showed the same kind of interest in Peter and Kurt’s situation as she showed those stories he caught her reading sometimes. »Is it because of the image inducer he got from Professor McCoy?«

» _ Ding-ding-ding _ , the candidate gets one thousand points.« Peter sighed. »Yeah, I kinda acted like an asshole because of it. So nothing new there either, I suppose. Did he say anything about it?« Kurt had probably told their friends how sad he was that Peter would not respect his choice in this regard. Then again, no. Kurt was not like this. He was the kind of guy who would never talk behind someone’s back, really. Kurt was more the direct kind of guy.

»No. Well, of course, we noticed how he tried to avoid you, you know? Every time you came into sight,  _ BAMF _ , he was gone. We didn't ask him why we actually didn't even say anything about his appearance in the first place. It felt a bit odd to say anything.« She drove a hand through her long hair. »I mean had we told him that he looked good, he would have thought he would look bad in his real form, right? And if we would have told him that he was looking bad in this form, maybe he would have felt even more self-conscious, after all, only the color of his skin had really changed.«

»And his hands and feet.« Peter remarked with a small chuckle.

»And his tail. And this was actually the oddest part of it all.« 

Peter had only seen him a few times during the morning. They did not have many classes together but he had noticed just how uncomfortable his presence had made Kurt feel whenever they had to be in the same room. Maybe the fact that Peter had been staring at him through the room had been what made him uncomfortable, actually. »It's not that he wouldn't look good in this form, right?« Peter finally confessed to Jean. »I mean, he does look good. He is a good looking guy, blue or not. He has a pretty face, after all.«

»Why were you so angry anyway?«

»I wasn't  _ angry _ . I was irritated. And I didn't say anything to him. I just asked him why he even wanted something like this. I told him that he looked cool in his normal form.« Which was, in his eyes nothing to be deemed an offender for. But maybe his tone of voice or his expression might have changed a bit of the connotation of his statements. 

»Yes, but Kurt felt hurt anyway.« She sighed but raised one finger to shush him before Peter could say what was on his mind. »No, he did not say that he was hurting, no he did not say that you hurt him. I took it from his mind after he looked so sad during breakfast and refused to talk about it. Don’t worry, I kept it to myself. And don't get me wrong, I don't say that this is your fault, Peter. You are not responsible for his feelings, you know? But he cares a lot about you and about your opinion of him. You are his best friend and since Kurt is already so self-conscious of his appearance, he wants you to have his back, although he would never say it.« 

It was not that this was a new revelation to Peter either. Their friendship had evolved pretty fast. First, they had hardly known each other when they first moved into the same room, then they became friends and now Peter was sure that he never had a friend whom he had liked so dearly as he liked Kurt. His other friends, Jean, Ororo, Jubilee, heck even Scott were dear to his heart too, but there was a difference. No matter how much they would try to, none of them would ever reach the same level as Kurt. Wow, even in his head that sounded cheesier than he thought it would. »Yes, I know that. And I feel like crap, but I … I couldn't bring myself to cheer for him in this matter, you know? Despite, he didn't even give me a chance, honestly. And I know, I know. He was afraid of my reaction if he would have allowed me to continue talking. I know that. I don't need to be a mind reader to know this. But I … Well, I guess I  _ was  _ angry. I was angry that he thought he needed to hide his true self to fit in - even from me, apparently.« 

Jean was silent and rested her chin on one of her raised knees as if lost in thought while Peter started to munch on his own sandwich. He wanted to talk to his best friend. He had gossip to tell him! Of course, he already told the gossip to Ororo, but … it just wasn't the same. He already missed him. Maybe he should go and apologize to him, but surely Kurt didn't want to talk to him. He would just teleport away from him if Peter dared to come too close. And then there was Jubilee. She would probably not let them alone either.

Hell, they had been quite the cute looking couple today. They weren't a couple, of course, but … they looked cute together. Yes, Kurt's not-blue form was very attractive, he had to admit that, but the regular Kurt was at least just as attractive, if not more so because of his uniqueness. Still, Jubilee had been glued even more to Kurt than usually today and the way she had looked at him every time Peter had seen them together had been quite telling. If she liked him better like this, Kurt would probably keep continuing this stupid charade and they would be a couple in no time. They had not talked about the whole thing after Peter had told him that Jubilee liked him and so Peter had still no clue how Kurt felt towards her. Then again, this day had been quite telling in this regard and Peter would go as far as to wonder if Kurt might have wanted to use the image inducer for her. 

»Do you think he did this for Jubilee?« It wasn't the first time that this thought occurred to him, but thinking about it now he just couldn't shake off that sour tasting feeling. It was wrong. If Jubilee really was the reason for this and if she really liked him better this way, she wouldn't deserve Kurt anyway. He, on the other hand, would take Kurt no matter how he looked. If their roles were swapped, he would not feel ashamed if Kurt would be his boyfriend and looking the way he normally did.  _ Wait. What? _

»No.« Jean smiled. »I don't think that he likes her like this, Pete. She’s just a friend to him. But if  _ you  _ do like him more than a friend, you should tell him already before it's too late. Because you are right, you know? Kurt is attractive, no matter in what form, and it's not going to be long until others will start to see that too and maybe it's too late then.« 

Would it not be Jean he was talking to, he would try to defend himself and deny everything she just said or hinted at. But it was Jean and he was aware that she knew to decipher his thoughts better than he did himself just now. It was futile to even think about lying to her. And yet, he could continue lying to himself, he assumed. »I don't like him like this.« He grunted as he rose from his spot. »What do you think I am?« 

»Pete, I just wanted to say-« But she didn't get to say what she had meant as Peter was already gone before she could finish her sentence. As he stopped the next time, he felt like an insolent, stupid teen. Great. He could only assume that, apparently, his teenage friends were rubbing off on him, when it already got to the point that he was starting to run from confrontations about his feelings like this. What could be more pathetic? 

Well, the answer didn't take long for him to find and it came in the form of Kurt and Jubilee. Calling his own best friend pathetic, even in his own head, was not the nicest thing, but Peter couldn't come up with any other fitting description in this case now. The way Jubilee clung to Kurt’s arm as they sat on the couch in the living room, the way Kurt was brushing his fingers through his black hair as he only did when he was flustered, made Peter’s blood boil and not just because of this show they were putting out there, but because it looked wrong to him. Kurt looked wrong to him. He was still Kurt, yes, but he did not look like  _ his  _ Kurt - only like a sorry copy of him with his pale white skin and those boring brown eyes. Everything that made him special and unique seemed stripped away, condemning him to the existence of just some regular and not so very noteworthy teenage boy with a funny accent. 

As their eyes met through the room, Peter felt his whole body tense up. As a good friend he would have waved at him or ushered him to get a move on Jubilee, instead, he decided to be a child and walked away. 

There was no use in going to sleep, Peter later decided as he sat inside the room and watched the thick drops of rain crash against his window. Outside it was pouring and a heavy thunderstorm had just hit the region. Even if he would go to bed now due to the late hour, he knew that he wouldn't be able to find sleep anyway and the bit of sleep he would maybe get, he didn't want. His nights were restless, his dreams unsteady and unhinged. He could very well abstain from the echoes of his past that were haunting him in the night. Weird how he had never felt like this in the time he had shared a room with Kurt.

Sure enough, it had not always been easy. They were much alike but in certain regards, they were extremely different and since they were both hot-headed guys, they had had their fair share of little fights over nothing in particular. He remembered how stupid he had thought it was that Kurt would kneel beside his bed every evening to speak his prayers. He had mumbled them quietly in his mother tongue so that Peter had not been able to understand a thing, even if he had wanted to. He had never really met people with a faith as strong as Kurt because the people he had grown up with in the suburbs only wore their faiths like a shield for the outside world behind which they could duck and hide from uncomfortable questions. But to Kurt, his faith was no laughing stock. He meant what he was doing.

If there was something like a heaven after death, then Kurt Wagner was the only person Peter knew that would definitely end up there. He would watch over the world with stupid fluffy wings and a harp, probably as Peter would go straight to hell. It had taken him a while to understand that he did not find it ridiculous that Kurt had such a strong faith, but that Peter envied him instead. Life seemed to be so much easier when there was something one could believe in. Of course, the thought had occurred to him, that Kurt might use his faith as a crutch, perhaps. A crutch that had helped him to survive until this day. He was only ever speaking highly of his circus family in Germany and Peter was sure that Kurt loved them dearly and missed them terribly, but nothing Kurt would tell him could convince Peter that growing up in a circus had always been easy and just a fun little adventure. They both knew that Kurt's family had used him for their own profit, but neither of them would say it out loud. Peter wouldn't say it because he didn't want to hurt Kurt and Kurt wouldn't say it because this way he would acknowledge it and that would make it real. 

And if anything, this was a feeling Peter knew just all too well. 

In the end, Peter ended up in front of his NES again, pushing buttons and wasting his time instead of trying to find some sleep. The 8-bit graphics were much more welcome than the monsters in his nightmares and the heavy thunderstorm that was hitting the institute did not make it easier. Wouldn't he have known it better he would blame Ororo for the weather but the weatherman had warned them of the approaching storms that were typical for this time of year for days now on the radio and so the blame clearly lied on mother nature instead. 

Peter had always liked storms, oddly enough. Somehow witnessing a thunderstorm had always made him a lot calmer. Today it did not succeed in that regard. He was still thinking about Kurt. Would his friend use the image inducer more often from now on? Had he liked it, perhaps? Yes, he could understand him. Yes, he knew how it felt to not fit in. Peter too had never really fitted into his environments no matter where he turned to. Even here he sometimes felt like the odd one out because of the age gap, but he was also aware that Kurt had had it much worse. Unlike Peter, Kurt was not able to hide his mutation - until now. 

And yet, every time he had seen Kurt today, the image had stung in Peter’s heart and filled him with some sort of grief that he was not able to describe more accurately. It felt like he had lost something that had never been his in the first place and that was even more disturbing and weird a feeling to even try and get behind. 

If all of this wouldn't be enough already, Jean’s words failed to leave his mind in a way that made him almost certain she was still in his head repeating them over and over and over again. Had she seen something inside of his mind that he couldn't grasp? No, the truth was that he could grasp what she meant and he knew that it was there, only that he had decided to ignore it, just like neither Peter nor Kurt were talking about the fact that Kurt’s family had already forgotten about him. Hell, Jean would probably punch him for even thinking like that, but Peter knew that it was the truth and Kurt knew that too. They would have answered at least one of his many letters by now, would they really care for their lost sheep. 

A knock on the door ripped him from his thoughts. He knew who it was. A part of him wanted to play dead and act as if he wasn't here at all, but of course, he knew how stupid and childish that would be. Kurt knew him and he wouldn't have knocked had he not seen the bit of light that was coming from Peter’s TV through the crack underneath the door. Still, Peter could not bring his body to stand and go to open the door so instead, he shouted: »Door is open!« and schooled his face into the most focused expression he could while trying to complete this level. 

It did not take long until the door behind him opened quietly and Peter just stared ahead as he heard Kurt shuffling into the room and closing the door behind him again just as silently. It was douchey to not even look at his best friend, though Kurt had done nothing wrong to begin with. It was him who had fucked up by just talking without thinking how it might affect his friend. Still, Peter kept sitting with his back hunched and turned towards the door and hit the buttons of his NES. Suddenly he felt as if there was a ton of weight on his shoulders. 

As he threw a glance over his shoulder, he saw that Kurt was in his pajamas and had his pillow in his arms, unlike Peter who sat in his boxer shorts and a loose shirt on the ground with not a care in the world who might see him like this. 

Peter forced himself to turn his attention back to the TV and patted the ground beside him. »Come on, sit down, you make me nervous.«

But Kurt did not leave his position near the door. »I’m just here to apologize.«

»For what?« A small curse escaped Peter's lips as his little 8-bit character died on screen,  _ again _ . He had to admit that his game was not going too well despite his natural talent when it came to these things. Well, he blamed Kurt. Kurt had always been a bad influence.

»For my rude behavior this morning.« It was not that he would be particularly surprised to hear that. Leave it to Kurt to apologize for being rude even though he had been  _ a) _ right in being rude, and  _ b) _ not been rude at all in the first place. He had done nothing wrong and yet he came to Peter to apologize though Peter should be the one to do exactly that. He had hurt his friend but Kurt would not acknowledge Peter's guilt.  _ He is just too good for this world, I suppose _ . 

Peter shrugged it off and waved his hand dismissively, but did not turn around to face him still. He was a coward, that was neither new nor surprising. »Shrug it.« He mumbled at his TV instead of his friend. It was not as if Peter would not know exactly just how this would make Kurt feel. His friend was confused, he could almost feel his confusion radiate from his body and he could not even blame him for his confusion. One of the biggest differences between him and his best friend was their view on communication. Growing up as an American, Peter had learned to always be friendly towards other people and to always make small talk. This went so far that it was completely normal to have meaningless conversations with other people and nothing else was really expected anyway. No one would ever give an honest answer to the benign question of ‘how are you?’ because it wasn't expected. And thus their society was deteriorating further and further into meaninglessness because everyone only had their own interests in mind. 

Things seemed to be different in Germany in this regard, at least judging by Kurt. While they, the American students liked to sugarcoat everything and use lengthy explanations to ease someone into a harsh truth or answer, Kurt, being a proper German, always cut straight to the chase. Kurt meant what he said, always. With Kurt there were no meaningless conversations about the weather or some stupid shit no one really cared about. While other perceived this sometimes as rude, Peter actually liked this a lot about him.

»Okay« Kurt murmured and Peter could almost hear him fidgeting on the spot before turning slightly towards the door again. »Well … I guess,  _ Gute Nacht _ , then …  _ Bis morgen _ .«

He couldn't help it, but he loved to hear Kurt speaking German. »I take it, the day has not been as you hoped it would be?« Peter was in front of his friend in the blink of an eye after his body had apparently decided that enough was enough, blocking his way to the door and before Kurt knew it or could do anything about it, Peter had ripped his pillow away, gave him a small nudge on the head with the same pillow and threw it on the bed. »Come on, stay, Blueberry. I’m sure you have a lot to tell me about your day and it's been awhile since our last pajama party.« 

He could not possibly let Kurt go like this, still feeling guilty about the whole thing though he had done nothing wrong. And a small voice somewhere inside of Peter's head - the same quiet voice of reason that he usually tried to drown out - warned him that he might ruin their friendship and push Kurt straight into Jubilee’s waiting arms, would he not do something now. Then again, maybe he should push Kurt into Jubilee’s waiting arms. A sheepish little smile crept onto his face and pulled on the corners of his mouth as his neck was suddenly very itchy and forced him to scratch his skin harshly.  _ You have to apologize, you idiot! If you do not apologize to him now, it's over! Your best friend gone! You have to act now!  _ »I guess … I should apologize to you too.« His inner voice of reason sighed in relief. »I acted like a total asshole. I avoided you the entire day just because I was angry that you did not listen to me, Kurt.«

It was not the whole truth, of course, but Peter felt that Kurt did not need a lengthy explanation from him now, as he already showed him this dorky toothy grin of his. Peter could hardly do anything about the fact that his own face lit up in a little smile at this display. They were friends, yes, but today they had acted like the two biggest idiots in the world, apparently. »It's okay … I was an idiot too, I guess.« Kurt explained and walked towards Peter’s bed to sink down on the edge. He would stay, that alone was a relief and Peter let out a breath he had not even known he had been holding at the sight. Would he not wear this stupid handed down blue and white striped pajama of Professor X, Peter would maybe not think of this as just a pajama party among friends. Needless to say the thought scared him. Peter was beside him faster than he himself could process it as his body was acting on its own once again, but still, Kurt took his time to crawl under Peter's large blanket and wrap his arms around the pillow he had brought with him. 

»No« Peter sighed as he dragged his body further onto the bed and rested his back against the headboard, looking down on his friend who comfortably rested beside him in the dim light of the still running TV like a cat. Kurt had much of a cat, he guessed. Well, thank god he was not cleaning his fur with his tongue, but he at least had the inherent grace of a cat when moving. »I really mean it, Kurt. It wasn't my right to tell you what to do. I know that - and not just because Jean tormented me with a headache the entire day. If you feel better when you conceal your true form, I can respect that. It's not my choice. And if you like it more and feel more comfortable, I will support you. I just … I want you to know that you don't need that.«

»Because I look  _ cool _ , yes, I know.« He sighed. Peter had not thought about it too much this morning, but he came to the conclusion that  _ cool  _ was not really the adjective a boy like Kurt would want to have applied to his appearance. Even though Kurt never showed it to the others, Peter was very aware of the fact that his friend was self-conscious of his appearance. 

»No« Peter rubbed his eyes at a sudden loss for words. »No, that's not what I mean … I mean you do look  _ cool  _ … I just … You don't have to try and look normal to be normal, okay? No one here looks at you like a freak or some strange animal in a zoo. The people here like you - a lot more than they like me, that's for certain, Kurtie. The people here respect you and they admire you.  _ I _ admire you. You don't need camouflage to fit in. You don't need to fit in at all. You are beautiful just the way you are and you are unique and special and I hate it that you want to hide that fact about you just because you think that others frown upon you. Because, let me tell you, everyone who frowns upon you or teases you, will get taped to the roof, my dear blue friend.« Peter could talk just as fast as he could move, that was nothing new to him. He remembered times when his mother had told him to slow down with a little laugh on her lips because he had been so excited to tell her something that it came out as one indefinable sound. He felt his own cheeks turn pink because of his choice of words but shook it off immediately. The light, or rather lack thereof, would not allow Kurt to see it anyway and it was true what he told him, wasn't it? Kurt  _ was  _ beautiful. He just was and there was no point in getting embarrassed for admitting to this undeniable fact. 

If a girl like Jubilee could fall in love with Kurt Wagner, Peter might as well develop a little crush on his best friend too, right? But it was more than a puppy-eyed love crush, wasn't it? This was the problem, after all. It  _ was  _ more.

Kurt's reaction to his words was that of shame and embarrassment (maybe even disgust, as a voice inside his head not so helpfully supplied), as he pressed his full lips tightly together into a thin line and pulled the blanket higher. Well, shit.

»But I mean … Well … Do not take any advice from me, I guess. It's not like I'm any different. I'm hiding myself too behind a false front, right?« Peter scoffed in his usual attempt of sounding nonchalant and unfazed while he tried to shake off the panic that was welling up inside of him. He had fucked up, hadn't he?

»What do you mean?« Kurt asked and lowered the blanket - his shield - again just enough so that Peter could see his entire face. He looked curious and, not to mention it, highly confused.

The words had just slipped him and now he was confronted with two possibilities. He could either tell the truth and tell Kurt exactly what he meant or he could think of a small lie to feed to him. Oh, hell … As if he would not already know the answer to this dilemma! Of course, he would tell Kurt the truth! He deserved nothing less. So, he pulled a grimace, rolled his eyes and sighed in annoyance of the fact that Kurt would soon know his dark secret. »My name isn't Peter, okay? I'm Pietro. But since people in the suburbs are mean-spirited assholes, I decided that I want to be called Peter instead. Only my mom calls me Pietro.«

Kurt's reaction was silence at first, but then he spoke up again and Peter could see the spark of mischief in his yellow eyes even in the dim light. »So … I wouldn't be allowed to call you that too?« Oh, this little demon! How was he supposed to deny him this privilege? 

»Maybe I could make an exception for you … as long as you never hide yourself from me, deal?« Peter asked with a faint smirk on his lips. If he could get Kurt to be honest with him at least, it was a small sacrifice, he guessed. Then again, another small voice inside of his head wondered that it would be nice to hear his real name roll from Kurt's lips, like some kind of mystical spell. He was definitely spending too much time with the girls.  

Kurt sighed, but with a small grin, he freed his right hand from under the blanket and shook Peter's hand to seal the deal. »Deal.« He smirked. »It was awful anyway. The whole day I had people staring at me and I don't know why. I felt even smaller than usual, more like a freak.«

His mouth was a lot faster than his brain, once again and Peter could only look on as disaster struck once again. »They stare at you because you are hot, Idiot.« Oh, how he wished he had his tongue under better control! He was twenty-three years old but in Kurt's presence, he felt as dumb as a fifteen-year-old! How could he tell a seventeen-year-old boy that he was hot? Oh, dear Lord… 

First, it seemed as if Kurt was either not entirely sure what the word meant or if he had heard correctly at all, judging by the way he stared at Peter in the light of  _ Mario Bros _ , then it started to dawn on him. Peter expected him to leave. He expected him to flee the room. Surely his friend would draw the wrong conclusions and think of him as some kind of pervert! He would look at him like Peter was one of those freaks on TV! Then again, it was true, wasn't it? He  _ was  _ a freak. He  _ was  _ a pervert. As if being a mutant wouldn't be bad enough already sometimes. 

»I'm not. But thank you for lying, I will pray for your soul,  _ Pietro _ .« Kurt grinned sheepishly and bared his teeth at him in the process, while Peter could feel relief wash over him in an instant. He had never been more grateful for the fact that Kurt was just so oblivious. That poor German elf did not even fathom that he was lying beside a monster. 

»But I'm not lying.« Peter even found it in himself to smirk as he finally crawled under the blanket himself, but stayed on his back, unlike Kurt, who preferred to sleep on his right side, his tail dangling from the bed. »You are hot. Just ask Jean or Jubilee or Ororo, they will tell you. I'm sure you had a lot of girlfriends in the past. Probably one in each city the circus visited.« Why was he torturing himself like this?

Kurt gently punched his shoulder as Peter laughed at him out of sheer idiocy. Yes, there really was no other word for his behavior, he assumed - or at least that was what Jean would tell him. To be perfectly honest, her words from earlier this day still stuck to him. _ If you do like him more than a friend, you should tell him already before it's too late _ .  _ Yeah, great advice, Jeanie. Sadly we do not live in one of your romance novels! _

Peter was aware that his friends thought that to him everything was just a game and that he was never serious and so they failed to understand when he was indeed serious. Not that he could blame them. This, however, was serious. He was still battling his own demons, how in the world could he even think about telling Kurt that he liked him more than a friend?  _ If  _ he did so, that was to say. 

Instead of answering him, Kurt just laughed about Peter’s words as if the sole fact that Peter thought it plausible that Kurt had had girlfriends before was ridiculous to him. The realization that this was probably true made Peter pause for a second. »So you never had a girlfriend?« Peter asked as he finally turned on his side to face Kurt directly, their faces mere inches apart by now. 

»No, of course not.« Of course not. The way he said it alone made Peter angry. How had Kurt been treated to think that it was so absurd that anyone could even think him capable of having a girlfriend? What had people had to tell Kurt that he thought so little of himself? Well, he knew exactly what they probably told him, that was the problem. 

»You tell me you never had a girlfriend, really? Wow. Don't tell me you have never been kissed before either!« His brain had lost control once more but this time, he did not even attempt of taking back control. There was a plan forming in the back of his mind. It was not a good plan. It was a rather stupid plan, honestly, but it was a plan. 

»Of course not!« Kurt replied and if he would be able to turn red, Peter was sure that his whole face would look like a tomato now, instead, it only got darker.  _ What a shame _ , Peter thought briefly while his own heart was slamming so hard and loudly against his ribcage that he was sure that Kurt had to hear it. His brain demanded control back, but his body and the stupid part of Peter refused to hand back the reins. This was not just to tease Kurt or to cheer him up. This was for Peter himself. He had to figure a few things out and for that, he needed that he would go through with his plan. The key part in all of this was that he would play the clown the whole way through. 

»We have to change that, then.« Peter decided and before Kurt could say anything or even do anything about it before he could even understand the situation or what Peter meant, Peter was pressing his lips upon Kurt's lightly. His long fingers had found a way to grab the back of Kurt’s neck to hold him close and hinder him from escaping. He could feel the ends of Kurt's growing hair against his fingers, soft and light like feathers, as he gently moved his lips against those of his best friend. Kurt's eyes were still wide open and his body frozen as Peter released him while Peter made an effort of grinning at him teasingly the same way he always would after pulling a successful prank on someone. 

Peter turned on his back again as if nothing happened but the thought the Kurt might think that this was all a joke made his heart ache even more than before. He felt stupid. The kiss had not brought the clarity he had hoped for at all. If anything, it had made everything ten times worse. His lips felt hot and tingly and the memory of the feeling of Kurt's lips against his burned itself into his brain, awakening the urge to do it again.

Instead, he crossed his arms behind his head and threw a glance at his confused friend. »Now that this is settled, you are free to go into the world without fear, young Padawan. We couldn't have let you go outside without being kissed at least once, could we?«

 

**-End of Chapter 4-**


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> "Morgenstund hat Gold im Mund!" - The early bird catches the worm  
> "So ein Mist" - Crap  
> "richtig?" - Right?

Had it been clever to kiss Kurt Wagner? No. Did he regret kissing Kurt Wagner? No. Was he, Pietro Maximoff, confused about kissing Kurt Wagner? Yes. Was he, Pietro Maximoff, thinking about kissing Kurt Wagner again ever since? Oh, hell, yes.

A week had gone by ever since the incident with this stupid image inducer and the night that had followed. A week had gone by since Peter had kissed Kurt, his best friend. Kurt did not seem to take it very seriously - what might be because of the fact that Peter had walked up to every one of their friends and smooched them as the next morning came to prove a point. What point? Hell, as if Peter would know. Since when was he a reliable narrator anyway?

Half the time he had no clue what he was doing, let alone why he was doing the things he was doing. He had lived his entire life like this, always just going along with what his bored brain would tell him, always seeking the next big thrill. First, it had been taking up running because, hell, it had been the logical consequence of his power set, he figured. Olympia, that had been the goal he had set in his mind and nothing less than a fucking gold medal and standing on the platform. Needless to say, that never happened and remained one of his more pleasant and colorful dreams. Instead, petty theft had happened and put him on the wrong side of law almost one too many times. That too had started out as a thrill, until he had learned that he could not be caught anyway and soon the thrill had started so dissipate. Why had he continued stealing then, one might ask. Well, as if he would know. Somehow stealing things that he had not really needed had just become a thing for him. He had done it without thinking about it, without feeling anything by it. Stealing had just become another part of the grey reality he had been living in, just like the empty beer bottles in the living room his sister had to play surrounded by.

He remembered finding his mother passed out drunk on the stained sofa and he remembered how he had picked up his little sister to take her into her own room which had once been his before he had moved into the basement. He remembered playing with Wanda and her dolls, making her laugh with his stupid little tricks and taking her mind off of their drunken mother downstairs in the living room. Those had been the easier days, he figured as he lay awake on his bed and stared at the ceiling of the room. To say that he had ever had a normal life would be nothing more than a blatant lie, really, but despite the alcohol, the yelling and the abusive stepfathers, this had been his kind of normal - just like the circus had been Kurt’s kind of normal.

Maybe that was why they got along so well. They were both pretty fucked up, he guessed. They were both missing a normality in which they had been used for the personal gain of others and had faced the inner darkness of normal human beings on a regular basis. Yet, Kurt had turned out pretty normal, though he still had problems fitting into this school sometimes, which only ever seemed to fuel his frustration of which he would only speak to Pietro about. But unlike Peter, Kurt looked at everything new with huge eyes and a curious mind while Peter had a hard time finding interest in anything sometimes.

Well, he had found interest in Kurt Wagner. That was good enough, he figured.

Only that he needed to take care not to scare off his favorite blue friend with this level of interest he was putting into him. He did not want to be creepy. That was why he had played it cool with Kurt after their kiss and Kurt’s reaction to it had been a kick against his shin anyway. He had not taken Peter or the kiss seriously - which was always a plus in his book. Still, despite what he had said to Kurt, the kiss still lingered on his mind and the desire to do it again was still haunting him. He had opened up Pandora's Box and did not know what to do with the knowledge he had gained about himself in doing so.

He could not be gay.

Simple as that. There was no way that he could be gay. And maybe he wasn't. He just felt attracted to his friend and that was not something to be ashamed of, right? Kurt was an attractive guy, after all. He had a pretty face, a nice body and he could be sweet as sugar - _BAMF_ \- when he was not teleporting straight into his room to hang from his ceiling lamp.

»Hey, Peter, get up! _Morgenstund hat Gold im Mund!_ Come on! We are going to the mall!«

Peter was not directly thrilled to go to the mall with his friends that day and yet he found himself in a much too small car anyway with Ororo in his lap and Jubilee's foot pressing against the side of his right thigh. Kurt was sitting next to him with Jubilee on his knees and her arms wrapped around him tightly. He was looking highly uncomfortable - probably because someone was sitting on his tail. Of course. _Mr. and Mrs. Rogers_ were sitting in the front, singing away to the radio.

»So drama class, really?« Ororo later asked as they sat down at a table with their Slurpees after the girls were done with their shopping spree - for now. Winter was coming, they said, and that meant that all of them needed new clothes. The girls, that was. Peter had proper winter clothes. Only Kurt had none, but Jubilee had already covered that as she had convinced him to buy at least one new pair of jeans and a cardigan. At least now she had stopped trying to get him to wear purple or yellow, but only after Peter had remarked that Kurt was looking good in white.

»Yes!« Kurt replied with a smile bigger than ever as he leaned forward on the table, his Slurpee held by his tail so that he could grab onto the edge of the table in excitement. »Jubilee told me all about drama class! I want to become an actor!«

»You are aware that there might not be many roles for you to take, right?« Ororo asked with one raised brow while the rest of their friends decided to keep quiet for now.

»Oh shut up, Stormy.« Peter sighed as he noticed how Kurt’s beaming smile started to falter at her remark. He had probably not thought about it until now. »He can be whatever he wants to be and if he wants to become an actor, he will.«  Kurt smirked at him as Peter ruffled through his hair. Despite what Peter had just said, all of them knew that Kurt would never be able to work as a proper actor, but still, Peter did not want to crush Kurt’s dreams like this too. He was so desperate to fit in and partake in as many activities as possible so that he would not risk feeling left out, that Peter just could not stand seeing him sad in any way. Then again, they were talking about Kurt _the incredible Nightcrawler_ Wagner. In the end, Kurt would win an Oscar and proof all of those who had ever dared to doubt him wrong.

»I’m sure you’ll be great.« Jean tuned into the conversation with a big smile on her pale face and Jubilee was quick to join in to the prep talk.

»Of course! And since I am in drama class too, we will have a lot of fun, I promise!« Of course, Jubilee wanted to get Kurt into drama class too. She was probably hoping for one or two kiss scenes with Kurt. Teenage girls … always so predictable. All they really achieved was to turn Kurt purple though as he smiled his most embarrassed smile.

»Yeah, I can see him being an actor.« Scott suddenly decided to chime in. »He’s such a showman after all.«

Kurt just laughed and when Scott threw his empty Slurpee cup at him he _BAMFED_ out of the way only to dangle from the nearest neon sign on his tail. »Who? Me? A showman?« The fact that Kurt had people looking at him now as he contorted his body into a position that should be impossible to achieve, only fueled his eagerness to perform apparently because it took a bit of Jean’s persuasive talents to get him down again, but not without bowing to the crowd that had gathered, of course. It was Peter who took it on himself to keep Kurt in line from then on, dropping his right arm leisurely over his best friend's shoulders while shoving his left hand into the pocket of his jacket. This was his way of preventing Kurt from running off again and it was undeniably better than having Jubilee holding Kurt’s tail.

And yet, despite the precaution, Kurt managed to trail off anyway as Peter and the others stopped near a shop window. The girls were looking at some fancy dress that was put on display and already dreaming about prom, as it turned out. Scott kept close to Jean in the process, complimenting her on how gorgeous she would look in that exact dress, while Peter had stopped with Kurt just a few feet away. At least he had thought Kurt would stop too as he took his arm away again to give his friend some space. It turned out, the elf had just walked on, too busy admiring his surroundings as if he had never been to this place before.

Only as he heard a small yelp that came unmistakably from his best friend, he noticed his absence from his side. Weird how Kurt always managed to trail off without anyone noticing it! They were so used to having a blue guy around them by now that they did not even notice it anymore when said blue creature would disappear from sight! Peter was quick to go after him though and he found Kurt not far off around a corner, surrounded by a group of punks who were picking at him mercilessly. One even got a hold of Kurt’s tail and the sole image alone made him furious. Kurt couldn't teleport away when someone was grabbing him like this, at least not without taking that person with him and so he let himself get pushed further and further into a corner like a frightened animal.

»Let go of me!« Kurt hissed. »I am not an animal!«

»Are you sure of that?« The boy who held Kurt’s tail asked and yanked at the additional extremity, causing Kurt to flinch and yelp in pain. »You should be locked up in a cage and not prancing around like this!«

It was not as if there were no other people around who witnessed the group going against Kurt, but Peter noticed that all those other people did was stare or even nod their heads in agreement. It made his heart ache to realize this. Of course, it was nothing new, really. Despite everything, mutants were still outsiders and still frowned upon. Some news outlets even went as far as to promote the idea that it was mutants who were responsible for the AIDS epidemic. That they were the ones spreading the deadly disease.  

»You and those other mutant freaks should not be allowed to be around normal people!« Another one of the boys added and only then, as Peter saw him raising his fist to strike a blow, he managed to get moving again as he woke from his sudden stupor. Seeing Kurt like this, cowering against the wall with bent knees and raised shoulders had him in shock, truly. Before the boy could even get his aim straight to deliver the blow, Peter had shoved him out of the way and twisted the arm of the guy who had been grabbing Kurt’s tail so strongly that he draw a pained yell from the red haired boy.

»If you do not let him go immediately, I’ll break your arm, you fucking piece of trash.« He hissed as time started to run normally again. His voice was darker than even he had heard it before and yet, it had a certain sense of familiarity to it that made Peter uncomfortable to even think about it. The punk let Kurt go without hesitation and though he had expected Kurt to stay, his friend was gone with a loud _BAMF_ and the smell of sulfur in his wake as soon as his tail was free.

»Fuck.« Peter muttered and since he had no clue where Kurt went, he went back to their friends to tell them about the incident - not without dumping those punks into various trash cans first, of course, but that only took him a few seconds anyway.

»Pete, the Professor said, no powers. It's already bad enough that Kurt made a show earlier.« Jean scolded him as he came to a slithering halt before them. Of course, she was wearing her best expression of the Professor on her face as she once again made it her purpose in life to act as Peter’s consciousness. She was quite good at that job, actually, and Scott would soon follow her example. Both of them were horribly square.

»Yeah, scratch that Jeanie and fire up your systems. Kurt just went missing.«

The shocked expressions of his friends (and the judging look of Jubilee) came as fast as expected, just like Scott’s glorious next comment. »How can he be missing? How could you lose him? He is tall and blue!« Yeah, how indeed.

Thankfully, it did not take Jean long to locate their friend. »He is on the roof.« She said and already started walking towards the staff only doors, pulling Scott with her but Peter stopped his friends right away. It was one thing for him to go through those security doors and a whole different thing for his friends.

»I handle this. Just wait for us in the car, alright?«

Luckily, Kurt was still sitting on the edge of the roof as Peter reached it. Would it not be Kurt sitting there, Peter would be honestly concerned about what the person sitting on the edge of a four story shopping mall might do, but it was Kurt and he let his feet dangled over the edge as if it was nothing, his tail resting on his lap and his shoulders slumped in a way Peter absolutely hated to see. Then again he doubted that there was one creature with a beating heart that would enjoy seeing Kurt Wagner down like his.

»There you are, Elf.« He sighed as he came closer. His shoes were making crunching sounds on the pebble stones that were covering the roof of the shopping mall. Kurt did not look over his shoulder as Peter would suspect him to, only his ears twitched a little and he wondered if Kurt contemplated teleporting away again. »Is everything alright?« _What a stupid question, Maximoff!_ , his inner voice growled at him as he joined Kurt in sitting down on the edge of the roof. He had no fear of heights per se, but he much rather liked to have solid ground under his feet for the most part.

Kurt didn't say anything at first and so Peter just watched how the elf was petting his abused tail. »Has this asshole hurt you?« Peter immediately enquired pointing at Kurt’s tail, but finally, his friend sighed and shook his head.

»No … No, I just remembered something and got scared.« Kurt finally replied and glanced at Peter with a smirk on his face that could not have been faker if Kurt had outright tried to make it look fake. » _So_ ein _Mist_ … I feel so embarrassed and stupid now.« Again, Peter found himself wrapping his right arm around Kurt's narrow shoulders and to his relief, the teenager decided to lean against him ever so slightly. »I mean, aren't I supposed to be an X-Man? And yet those punks got me so scared that I left you with them to teleport to safety. What a great X-Man is am…«

»What did you remember?« Peter asked if only to stop him saying those ridiculous things. X-Man or not, they were human too and Kurt’s reaction had been all too human. He was careful not to pry too much and already he was afraid that he had maybe asked him a much too personal question, but then Kurt leaned his head against Peter’s shoulder and sighed so deeply as if he was carrying the weight of the whole world on his shoulders.

»I just …« He stopped and gathered his thoughts. »You know how bad memories sometimes creep up on you, right?« Peter nodded quietly. Of course, he knew this all too well. It was the main reason why he didn't like to sleep. »Right now it was like this too. Those boys reminded me of my days in East Berlin, shortly before Mystique found and saved me, and of a group of fascists that I met years ago. The only difference is that back then there was no _astonishing Quicksilver_ to save the day, you know?«

He should probably just let him speak, Pete figured and yet the next question already left his mouth before he could even try to stop himself. »What happened? You know you can tell me everything, Kurt.«

Though his friend nodded, he still hesitated for a moment before finally opening his mouth to reveal what was bothering him so much. »When I was fourteen, I thought it was a great idea to leave the circus on my own to go and have ice cream in the nearby village, you know? Awesome idea, I know. The other kids didn't want to take me with them when they went to go to the village and so I decided to go alone, after all, I was _the incredible Nightcrawler_ and what could possibly go wrong? I grew up thinking that everyone would accept me for who I was, you know? After all, I really only had the examples of people who came to watch our shows and those people liked to cheer for me and wanted to take pictures with me afterward. My mother always warned me about outsiders, but I didn't want to listen to her. I thought that she must be wrong and that I would have nothing to fear anyway. It turned out she was right, of course.«

He paused with yet another, but much quieter sigh and Peter noticed how his friend stared blankly ahead as if he could see it all play out in front of his own eyes once more. It probably was. »Anyway, I was attacked by a group of boys who still believed in the old ideals, to put it that way. I don't remember much of it, actually and I'm glad that I don't. I remember lying in a cornfield though. I remember that they stripped me and beat me and threw rocks at me. This was when I first teleported. I didn't know that I had this power. But I was so scared and I knew they would kill me if I wouldn't find a way out. They even broke my tail and then I was gone. As this guy grabbed my tail earlier, I was there again and it happened all for a second time.«

He could not imagine the horrors Kurt must have experienced in these moments. A fourteen-year-old boy who had never been exposed to hatred like this. Kurt was still a naive boy, but he could only fathom the level of naiveté that had lead to this disaster back then. »People like these should be locked up.« He muttered. »And the same is true for those idiots in the mall down there. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you need to be locked up, Kurt. You are no animal, you are perfect just the way you are and if anyone dares to say otherwise, they are assholes with shitty lives and nothing else to live for.« Kurt flashed him one of his toothy smiles and although Peter desperately tried not to think about the kiss they had shared, he could not help the fact that he did think about it anyway.

He thought about how soft Kurt’s lips were, how hot his skin and how good it had felt to have him this close. »And before you say something like you forgive them for being shitty people and that they might have problems of their own and just act this way because they try to drown out their own sadness and miserable lives: They are assholes anyway and you are much too good for this world if you continue like this.«

He had not even cared for how fuzzy Kurt really was as he had kissed him. It was hard to see his fur, so fine was it and really not much bigger of a deal than regular human body hair, but he had felt it during their kiss, as short as the kiss had been. He had felt the fur and he had not cared even in the slightest bit. He was itching to do it again, to find out if he might be into this fuzzy dude after all and as Kurt now bit his bottom lip while he rested so comfortably against Peter, it was even harder to not act according to this need.

»I know, you are right.« Kurt sighed. »I should be more aggressive, I guess. I don't really like to fight, you know? I mean … the training is fine and all and I even enjoy it, but a real fight is something else. I still remember fighting against Angel back then and I still feel horrible because of it. I mean, I’m aware that I have to fight sometimes, but it's hard. I don't want to hurt anyone. And I still think that forgiveness is the right path, but I guess I don't have to forgive everything, right?«

»You can forgive what you deem is forgivable, but you don't have to forgive everything. When someone hurts you, you have the right to say it and you have the right not to forgive, Kurtie. But the most important thing is that you learn to protect yourself. That's what the training is really for in the end. To give you the tools to protect yourself and others.« Peter replied and forced his eyes away from his friend’s pretty face to look ahead and over the roofs of houses in the distance while he was gently rubbing smooth little circles into Kurt’s back.

»I don't like to act as if something like what you’ve experienced with those fascists or right now with those punks, will never happen again, you know? Because it will. It will happen again as long as you are alive because people are stupid, no matter if mutants or humans. All of them are just plain stupid and we are helpless against this level of stupidity. So, all you can really do is brace yourself for it. You have to be able to defend yourself against those people, mentally and physically and you will have to fight, you will have to hurt others so that they can’t hurt you. And if you’re still worrying about what God might say to all of this, I firmly believe that he will be fine with it as long as you fight to protect yourself and others. He did not give you those gifts without reason.« No matter that Peter did not believe in God the way Kurt did, it seemed to help.

Kurt still had a long way ahead of him, he knew this and Kurt knew this probably just as well. The boy did not like to hurt others and yet he needed to at one point. Kurt could not yet see it, but he was a fighter and he had always been one. As Kurt smiled at him now as response to his little prep talk, Peter felt how his body was ejecting his brain and he could only watch in horror how he finally got a hold of Kurt again as he put his hand on the back of his neck and leaned down to steal another kiss from the elf. But this time it was more than a peck on the lips as he closed his eyes and moved his lips against Kurt's. For Peter, it was an out of body experience. He knew he shouldn’t do it, he knew Kurt didn't want it and yet his body was acting on its own as he pushed his tongue into Kurt's mouth without any real struggle - mainly because Kurt was probably still in shock.

It took Kurt the entirety of two seconds to realize what was happening to him and as the realization kicked in, the expected struggle against Peter started immediately. Peter had a firm grip on the much thinner elf, but as he now began to struggle and fight back in earnest, pushing Peter away with his hands and trying to pry away his hand from his neck with his tail, his brain started to take over again. There was a part of his brain that he had never known was there to begin with. It was a more animalistic part, a voice that demanded more, that demanded to take what he desired, that whispered into Peter’s ear how Kurt would not be able to stand a chance against him if he really wanted to, that he could just take him, if he so desired. And it was that thought that finally made him pull away from Kurt at once. Still, the dark thoughts lingered as he stared at Kurt wide-eyed and in surprise over his own behavior, although it should be Kurt who should be surprised.

Only now Peter realized that Kurt had already been slipping on the edge of the roof. A second longer and both of them would have fallen down, plummeting to their death if Kurt wouldn't have reacted swiftly enough. »Fuck« Peter hissed as he brushed a hand through his grey hair. »Kurt, I'm sorry. Fuck … I didn't want to scare you … I'm sorry…« He didn't even know what to say anymore. was there anything he could say? Was there anything to make the situation better again?

He could only watch how Kurt moved away from him and the edge of the roof still wide eyed like a doe in the headlights of a truck. And Peter knew that he had fucked up royally. Since the beginning of his residency at Xavier’s institute, he had wondered just how and when his time there would end and how and when he would manage to get a friend like Kurt Wagner to hate him. He was almost sure now that his brain had taken it as a challenge and that this was the reason why it had decided that it wanted to kiss Kurt. Hell, had he not been this aggressive maybe things wouldn't have been this way now.

Apparently, though, he had reached the moment where he would lose his best friend. As Peter again started an apology, he was shushed by Kurt who just extended his hand unwillingly towards Peter. »The others are waiting.« That was all the elf said to him before Kurt teleported them both back to the car and their waiting friends.

Peter recalled the day’s events still as vividly as if they were happening over and over again. Kurt had not talked to him ever since those last words had escaped him. Two weeks had gone by already. Two weeks without his best friend. Had one day been agony already, two weeks was hell. Of course, their friends had no clue of what had transpired between them that had lead to this evolvement in their relationship. Kurt would never tell their friends about Peter’s attack on him. It had not been an attack, of course, but now, looking back, it felt as if he had attacked his friend and if _he_ was feeling like this, then he did not want to think of just how awful it must have been for Kurt.

»Peter, focus!« Mystique's voice was cutting as Peter hardly escaped the next blow that was aiming for his face. »What is wrong with you today? You are not here to daydream! Come out of your defense already! We all know that you are better than this!«

»Yeah, Pete, what's wrong with you today?« Scott huffed as he tried to land another blow at Peter’s jaw, but this time Peter was quicker to react and blocked the punch with ease.

»Nothing is wrong with me! Just shut up and fight for god’s sake!« He did not intend for his voice to go up like it did, he did not intend to yell at Scott like he did. He was angry, his body was vibrating with fury and that he noticed how Kurt looked at him during his own fight against Ororo, did not make it better. The gym was empty except for their group and while Jean was taking a small break, Peter and Scott were now engulfed in a staring contest.

Peter was usually teamed against Scott during hand-to-hand combat training like today because they were the most similar in built and strength while Kurt usually fought against the girls. Not because he would be weak, but last time he had fought against Scott, Scott had nearly broken the teleporter’s nose but Kurt had gladly teleported out of the way quickly enough to escape the fate of having a crooked nose. Unlike with the girls or even Kurt, neither Scott nor Peter had to tone down their blows when fighting against each other and that was how it was supposed to be.

Today the looks of his friends burned in his neck and only added to his agitation, making him more and more irritated and his anger rising inside of his stomach like a cobra craning its neck and rising tall at the sound of a flute.

»Of course something is wrong! You wouldn't fight like a fucking pussy if nothing was wrong, Pete!« This was it. This was the straw that broke the camel's back. Peter was in Scott's face so fast that his friend could hardly brace himself against the punch that came flying at his jaw. In a matter of seconds, their sophisticated training became a full blown brawl - and Peter had expected nothing else from Scott. They were equally hot-headed only that Scott was fueled by the temperament of a teenager in addition. Their punches and kicks were uncontrolled by now. Maybe it was not exactly helping that they had been in each others face for the last three days, constantly bickering about the most idiotic things. He and Scott had never been close friends. Friends, yes, but always eager to compete with one another and prove a point of which both of them were not entirely sure what it was. They were not fighting for practice anymore now, they were fighting to hurt one another and every blow that Scott was delivering to Peter's face was much too welcome for comfort. He wanted Scott to punch him, that was the truth in all of this. Yet, it had been him who had thrown himself on Scott with a wild growl.

They landed on the ground that was covered in mats, entangled in one another as they kicked and punched and growled at each other.

Peter barely even realized the shouts of their friends, demanding them to stop with the nonsense and stop fighting. He barely registered Mystique's orders. Only as his head almost burst in pain, he let go of Scott and stumbled away from him. His nose was bleeding and his jaw aching from a right hook of Scott that made his head ring. His lips were split open and he was sure that tomorrow he would be covered in bruises and scratches, just like Scott who looked equally as bad as Peter now.

Jean’s attack on his brain was only stopping as he was coming back to his senses and dropped his fists to his sides.

»What the hell was that?« Raven shouted at the two boys as Scott was still trying to get back to his feet. Overcome by the sudden feeling of guilt, Peter reached down to offer Scott a helping hand, but the teen pushed it away and managed to get back on his own.

»Don't ask me!« He growled directed at Mystique but his eyes remained angrily fixated on Peter's face. »He started it! _He_ went berserk on me!«

Under different circumstances, Raven would have demanded an explanation but even she had to see and realize that she would get none from Peter. He would surely hear from the Professor soon. Hell, he had fucked up again. Now it was surely only a matter of time until he would be thrown out of the Institute. He was _unhinged_ , that was what Professor X would say. Wouldn't be the first time. The same happened in his high school all those years ago. Teachers had called him unhinged because he had gotten into fights with older students and then, before they could have thrown him out of the school, Peter had taken matters into his own hands instead.

»Both of you, out!« Raven spat. »I will talk to you tomorrow. Both of you are suspended from practice for a week. I will decide what your punishment will be tomorrow.«

Raven was pretty good in using a voice that commanded respect, yet, of course, Scott started to argue with her despite knowing better than this. Peter, although he wanted to keep on fighting, just nodded in defeat and walked away from the scene. On his way to the locker room he passed by Kurt and Ororo and he could feel Kurt’s concerned eyes on him as he left the gym to retreat into the locker room and soon after to the showers. He needed to get his head clear now so that he would not do anything stupid again. Fuck.

So what he had kissed Kurt? So what Kurt had not liked it? So what Kurt was no longer talking to him because he was disgusted by him? No reason for him to lose his mind over something as pathetic and petty as this! It wouldn't be the first time that he would lose someone he liked because he acted without thinking! So, what was the difference now? Why did it bother him so much?

He knew the answer.

He had known the answer for quite some time now. It was the same reason why his heart was beating so fast every time he would see Kurt, it was the same reason why he felt so comfortable with the elf, it was the same reason why he had no troubles sleeping when Kurt was in the same room as he was, it was the same reason why he felt like he could tell Kurt anything without having to be ashamed of himself.

Fuck.

He was in really deep trouble and he knew that. He had fallen for the elf, hadn't he? He had fallen in love with his best friend, hadn't he? The realization wasn't new to him, really, but it struck him a little harder now that he was ready to let it sink in as he stood under the hot water in the shower room. The sound of a locker being slammed shut in anger made him jolt and pulled him from his embarrassing thoughts.

Scott did not join him in the showers. Surely, he preferred to use his own shower after this incident or maybe he was hoping that Jean would stitch him up later - especially after Peter had thrown at him that Jean would never let Scott into her pants earlier this day. Hell, if anything, this little fight had brought Scott closer to his goal of wooing Jean in the end. Prick. Just a moment later, however, Peter heard the door to the showers open and tensed immediately. »Don't worry, I'm out in a minute.« He directed towards the door, but there was no response at first, only shuffling steps. Over the steam of his shower lingering in the air it was hard to see anything, but then he could see a blue hue and a second later the shower next to his was turned on. He grew even tenser now that he realized that it was Kurt who was next to him. Out of the corner of his right eye, he watched how Kurt placed his towel on the half wall that was separating them before he switched on the shower despite his usual habits when it came to being inside the showers. In a matter of seconds, his dark hair clung to his forehead before Kurt brushed it back with his left hand.

»Aren't you afraid that I might attack you again? Or that I gawk at you?« He wouldn't be Pietro _Quicksilver_ Maximoff would he not say something stupid like this.

»No.« And Kurt would not be Kurt _Nightcrawler_ Wagner would he catch the bait. »You haven't looked at me when I was passed out on this floor either.«

»How do you know?« Peter asked. It was true of course. He had had more pressing things to worry about in the situation. Well, he would never deny that he had seen how Kurt was built, but that had not been his intention and nothing more like a background information.

Kurt’s answer came just as swiftly and again only highlighted just how trusty he still was despite everything Peter had done to him. »You told me.«

»I could have lied to you.«

»You could have, but you didn't.« What had Peter even done in the first place that he deserved this level of trust from his German friend? Had he not proven to Kurt that he was not to be trusted and that he was not a good friend to him?

»What makes you so sure that I didn't lie to you? Why are you so sure that I have not taken my time back then and eye you up, huh?« Peter couldn't help but step closer to the half wall between them to lean down on the edge and look Kurt straight in the eyes as if to intimidate him - and maybe that was exactly his goal. They were much too close like this, that much was certain. He could smell the shampoo Kurt was massaging into his scalp. He smelled like cherries and somehow Peter was not even surprised. »What makes you so sure that I did not use the situation to my personal gain? How are you so sure that I didn't touch you, perhaps?« Even saying these things to his best friend felt disgusting to him, but Kurt did not flinch.

»Because you are my friend.« There it was again, this deep trust that Kurt put in everyone around him and which would someday break his neck if he would continue like this. Someday someone would abuse this trust, someday someone would hurt Kurt because of this trust. Maybe it would be better if Peter would be that person, he thought. If he would be the one hurting Kurt and making him more wary of people, then maybe Kurt would never have to deal with someone worse than him. It would be worth being thrown out of this institute and forever marked a criminal. »And because you would _eye me up_ now if you would have done so before. You have nothing left to lose anyway, _richtig_?«

The stance Kurt took before him was almost intimidating as Kurt turned around to face Peter fully. He did not even try to hide anything from him. Well, why should he anyway? Peter had already seen him naked. Was that the reason why Kurt joined him in the showers? Was this some kind of provocation? He knew that Scott was gone, right? He knew they were alone. And he knew that Peter was stronger than him and that he could take what he wanted, without Kurt being too much of a problem. They had seen it two weeks ago. Had he wanted to go through with it, had he followed the beast-like voice in his head, Kurt would not have been able to stand a chance against him. Yet, Kurt stood tall and proud now with no fear at all visible on his face.

A part of him, that ugly beast that was rearing its head again, thought that maybe he should teach him fear then. »Touché.« Peter scoffed and turned around again to face the wall instead only to rinse the rest of his own shampoo out of his grey hair. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw how Kurt did the same thing. The ugly beast inside of his mind slowly retreated back to its cave and it felt good to know that Kurt was not afraid of him. »I'm sorry.« He finally sighed again and somehow it seemed as if it was the only thing he was saying lately. »I'm sorry, Kurt. I didn't mean to scare you. I didn't mean to force you to anything. I didn't mean to kiss you. I didn't-«

»You didn't?« Kurt replied and cut him off like this. »Then why did you kiss me? Didn't you want to kiss me earlier too?«

»It just happened.«

»Ah…« Kurt made and nodded shortly to himself. »This must be just another kind of American phrase I don't understand, I guess.« Kurt said and made an effort out of acting as if he really wouldn't know what it meant. Oh, he was angry. Peter could feel that Kurt was angry. But he was good in not showing his anger. He was almost as good as Peter’s own mother and just as passive aggressive. »Because I really don’t know how something like this _just happens_. I mean, did you slip and fall against my lips and thought, _well I might as well continue_?« Oh, this little imp could be quite sassy if he wanted to and despite the circumstances, it actually managed to lighten Peter’s mood.

»Of course not.« He replied a lot quieter than before. He felt like a beaten dog. »And I understand if you don't want anything to do with me from now on.«

»I don't think you understand.« Kurt said, his voice still clear and unwavering. »I want to know why you did it. I want to hear you say why you kissed me. And yes, you did startle me and you did scare me. The first kiss, I can forgive. It was dumb and I was angry at first because you took my first kiss from me without even asking me, but this was just the usual idiot Peter, I told myself. This is something different. You attacked me, Peter. You knew that I didn't want it, I struggled and still, you continued. I want to know why and you owe me as much.« German people were very direct and cut straight to the chase? _Hah!_ He had always thought that this was just some stupid stereotype.

»I did it because I felt like doing it.« But Peter was too American to answer him clear and simple. He drove a hand over his face to gather his thoughts. Well, he had fucked up, hadn't he? He might as well continue, as Kurt had put it before and destroy his friendship with Kurt fully. There was nothing left to lose now anyway. »When I kissed you the first time, I wasn't sure why. I wanted to. I wanted to kiss you for quite some time already and I was so glad that you decided not to hide your true self from me. But then I thought nothing of it because you are my friend and the first real friend I've ever had. I was never as close to someone as I was to you and so I wanted to see if the feeling of wanting to kiss you would vanish or not after I did it. It did not.« He sighed but a saddened smirk crept onto his face. »Hell, at first I was sure that my brain just found a new way to destroy everything I've managed to build in those past few months because my brain just has a habit of destroying everything without reason when things are going too well. Still, I decided not to think about it, only to realize that the urge and my jealousy grew exponentially by doing so. And then at the mall … I don't know what came over me, Kurt, I really don't. I just wanted to kiss you after you told me this story. I was so angry at the people who have hurt you in the past and you were there, you were so close, you had no fear of me at all. Hell, as if being a mutant would not already be worse enough, right? No, I have to be a gay mutant too. Fuck. Listen, Kurt, if you don't want anything to do with me because I'm gay, that's fine. I understand.«

He was repeating himself, but as of right now, he didn't care. He just came out to his best friend as being gay. _Hallelujah_. It felt good, in a way, but he was sure that he needed a  lot more time until this feeling of relief would manifest itself properly. He knew that Kurt would never tell anyone but now that he had told him, it was only a matter of time until Jean would find out. Or the professor. Surely he would be banned from this school then. He couldn't even blame the Professor if he would ban him from attending this school. Not after all these terrible things on TV, he had to protect his children, after all, and unlike them, Pietro was an adult. An awkward, immature and unsocialized adult, but still an adult.

»Do you like me?« Kurt raised his voice once more after a moment of silence. »I mean more than like a friend. I mean, are you in love with me?« He sounded so skeptical saying this. It was the same tone of voice he had used before as Peter asked him if he had had girlfriends. The sheer disbelieve that anyone could even fathom to fancy him was still something he could not get behind and that was all the more reason why Peter once again wanted to kiss this blue idiot.

»Yes.« Kurt deserved the truth and Peter was glad that his burden finally fell off his shoulders as he leaned his forehead against the cold tiles of the wall in front of him. »Yes, I am in love with you.«

****

**-End of Chapter 5-**


	6. Chapter 6

_There was darkness around him, but only for a moment and then he was almost blinded by loud lights directed straight at his face. A flashlight, perhaps. He flinched back violently, his whole body spasming with a sudden surge of pain, only to have his back hit the bars of his cage once again. Loud laughter was erupting all around him as the steel bars were pressing into his bare back. The cage was hardly big enough for him and yet he tried to get as much distance between himself and his captors as he hissed with bared teeth at the man in front of him. He was wearing a dark uniform, but that was as much as Kurt could see, before he saw the stun gun coming at him again, heard the faint buzz of electricity, turning his world dark once more._

※※※※※※※

The icy roads stretched out in front of him endlessly as the traffic was going all too slow thanks to the idiot in the black SUV who had thought it was a good idea to cross the lane in front of them in this situation and thus caused the cars behind him to stop entirely, resulting in a concert of all different kinds of honks. Peter sighed as he watched the scene unfolding. He would already be at his destination would he be on foot. Not that he would be exactly thrilled to go back home to have Thanksgiving with his mother and her newest boyfriend. Well, then again, being away from the school would be good for him, he mused. Or was it being away from Kurt and his friends?

Whatever it was, he would see his sister again and spent all day in front of some video game with the little brat, probably. He had missed her, even though his mind had been occupied by Kurt as of late. But despite all of this, all he really wanted to do now was to get out of this bus and go by foot. The morning was still young and November had laid its first bit of ice over the streets, so a forthcoming was only slowly possible for the cars in front of them anyway. It did not help that most people were driving like lunatics on a day like this, really. There were people running the last emergency errands to the nearest grocery shop in those cars despite the early hour, students like him traveling home from university and other unfortunate souls going to meet their families.

It was not that he wouldn't be looking forward to seeing his family too, but he was dreading meeting his mother's new boyfriend. Wanda had told him all about this guy as they had last talked on the telephone. Tom, was his name, apparently. She said he had a decent job in a bank somewhere in town, which was an upgrade from their mother’s usual prey. He was nice, Wanda had told him, but that was all the more reason for Peter to be suspicious of him, really. His mother had no talent in finding a nice guy. He would not even describe his own father as a nice guy. Peter was almost too sure that this dude had some dark secret lurking behind that nice facade and it was only a matter of time until it would show. It was either that or his mother would soon get bored of him and exchange him for another drunken asshole. That’s how it had always been.

Peter stared aimlessly outside of the window he sat at and watched his breath fog the glass in the process. The sun had not yet fully risen and a thin layer of fog lay over the ground. Many of the other students had left Xavier’s yesterday after class, some even at the beginning of the week even. He and Scott had been the last ones to leave for they were the ones who were living the closest to the Institute. Jean had left yesterday, just like Jubilee. But there were quite a few kids that would stay at the school for various reasons. Some of them had their homes so far away that it would not make sense to go, some of them did not want to go, some of them had no homes to go back to. The latter was the case for Kurt and Ororo. Still, Peter was certain that they would have a great time at the Institute. Professor X would not be Professor X would he not arrange a proper thanksgiving for his remaining children.

This thought brought half a smile on Peter's face at least. In the beginning, he had laughed about it all, thinking that no rich dude in a wheelchair like Professor X would really care so much for other mutants, but now he knew that he really did. The kids in this school were his children as long as they were in his care and he was treating them all equally - even Peter, despite the disappointment Peter really was for the most part.

He had thought about asking Kurt and Ororo to join him so that he would not be all alone with his family, but since the situation between him and Kurt had not approved dramatically, he had not felt like it would be the right thing to do. He did not want to make the elf even more uncomfortable.

Looking back now, he felt even more stupid than he had in the situation. He had hoped that everything would go back to normal when he would tell Kurt the truth after his friend had demanded it, but nothing was normal now. Kurt had stopped avoiding him, but Peter went back to distancing himself from his friends and especially from Kurt. He couldn't even stand being alone with him in the same room because worry was clouding his mind when he did so. Worry, that Kurt might feel uncomfortable with him.

He couldn't blame him if Kurt would feel uncomfortable in Peter’s presence now that he knew how Peter really felt for him. Hell, it had been a shock to himself to hear those words coming out of his own mouth! Hearing those words being said out loud had made them somewhat more real than before and now he had to live with the knowledge that, yes, he was in love with his best friend and, no, his best friend would never feel the same way he did. This was no romance novel and things would not turn out just fine. There was a break in their relationship now, a cut straight through the tie that had bound them together until now and there was no way he could fix this cut.

Pietro got off the bus two hours after he had left the institute. As he went off an elderly lady with two bags full of groceries from a nearby 7/11 went on and the bus left Pete behind on the desolated road his house was in. He could already see it from the bus stop not too far off and yet he walked slowly towards it. The doormat in front of the door was prove of how Peter used to rush inside, but today there really was no rush. Every step he took felt slow as if his feet were glued to the ground. Somehow he felt as if there was something going on he wasn't yet aware of, something dark brewing on the horizon like a hurricane. Well, it probably was just his resentment for this new boyfriend he didn't yet know.

As he reached the house everything was as it had always been again. The door still looked the same and had the same scratches on the side where it had been slammed shut numerous times in the past. His mother's roses in front of the house looked pristine though they didn't carry blossoms now that they were already covered in a thin layer of frost. There was light in the upstairs windows and from the kitchen that overlooked the front yard. A car he didn't recognize stood in the driveway in front of their garage. Probably Tom’s car. With a sigh, Peter opened the door slowly and walked inside the house as silently as he could and yet it only took his mother as long as it took Peter to hang his jacket on the coat rack beside the door to notice his arrival.

»You are late.« She teased standing in the kitchen door. His mother was far from being an ugly old housewife, that much was certain. She was in good shape, tall, with her blonde curls hanging loosely around her slim face. Except for his brown eyes, he had not much of hers. Her complexion was healthy and pinkish, not like Peter’s who had spent most of his days in front of the television or the arcade lately. She was pretty and that only was highlighted as she was almost beamed with joy to see him now. Peter felt bad for having dreaded this moment so much in return. His mother did not deserve this kind of treatment, despite everything she might have done in the past. She was still his mother and as she held out her arms now, a wooden spoon in her right hand, Peter did not hesitate to throw himself into her arms for a hug. »We expected you to arrive an hour ago!« She added as she held him and pressed a small kiss to his right temple. »Well, well, this school really seemed to do a good job, you walked through that door like a normal human being for once…«

His mother's words did not mean to hurt him, he was aware of that and he also was aware of what she meant with her choice of words. Yet it stung. Somehow it did sting. He wanted to tell her that, _no_ , he was no _normal human being_ because he was a mutant, because he was a Jewish mutant, because he was a gay Jewish mutant. Fucking hell. What more labels could he possibly collect for Christ sake? It still sounded so weird in his own mind to call himself gay. He did not even fully know if that was the truth either! All he knew was that, yes, he was in love with Kurt Wagner. A man. He loved another man. But did he love him because he was a man or despite he was a man? And what did it really matter anyway? He loved Kurt. That was it. He loved Kurt for who he was, in spite of everything. He would love him even if he would be a woman. It would not matter, right? Maybe it would. He had had quite some time to let this thought settle in since the incident at the shopping mall. He had had quite some time to think about it and still he had not come up with a satisfying result. As his mother gave him back his freedom again she kept her hands on his shoulders for just a moment to eye him up carefully as if to see if he was still her son - hell, as if she would know. »You look different. Is everything alright?« She asked and Peter would have loved to scream at her. Since when did his mother care so much?

She had only been loving towards him when he had been a small child and they both knew this. Her love of him had been swapped for the love of other men and then alcohol. Was she sober now? He couldn't tell. She did not smell of alcohol but that did not have to mean anything. »I have seen better days.« He brushed off her concerns just like her hands as he took them from his shoulders. »So where is Wanda?«

»She is out with her friends already. She won't be back until dinner, I suppose.« Great. Fucking great, Peter thought. Now he was stuck in his mother’s house without his sister to keep him company. Apparently, her big brother was no longer of importance to the brat.

»Fine … I crash in my old room then I guess.« He sighed as he grabbed his backpack and hurled it over his shoulder. Only shortly he had a look around the hallway and of what he could see from the kitchen and living room. It was unusually tidy. Not that his mother would not take care of her house, but Pete remembered times when it had been hard to take a few steps through the house without stumbling over empty beer bottles or piles of the magazines and newspapers his mother would cut food stamps and coupons out of. Today the house almost looked pristine.

»Oh, honey…« His mother started and though Peter already knew that her tone of voice did not promise good news, he was not quite braced for what she had to say. »You know, we decided to convert your old room last September. Haven't I told you as you got out your TV? Tom is quite the fitness freak, actually, and we thought it would be nice to have our own home gym, so… Well, you can have the guest room, of course…«

»Wow … You did not waste time after I was finally out of the house, didn’t you?« He groaned. Yes, it hurt. No, he had not wanted to move back into his mother's basement, but yes, it hurt. Knowing that his mother and sister were living their own lives completely separated from his now, hurt. He wanted to go back home. _Hah_ , weird how Xavier’s seemed more like a home now than this place. Then again … had this house ever been a home to him really? Hadn’t it been more like a hideout for him, truly? A place where he could crash and waste away his days?

»Peter, I just thought you-« He was quick to interrupt his mother. There was no point in being mad at her for converting his old room, he guessed. The world was moving forward and his mother and sister had their own lives, just as Peter had his. And who was he to demand from them that everything would stay the same while he was miles away living his own completely separate life? Didn't they deserve the same thing and to come to their own without him?

»No, it's okay, Mom, I get it. Fine then. Yes, great … I’ll take the guest room, no problem.« And despite everything he had just decided for himself, his words still came out sounding bitter and he felt like an insolent, pouting child. His mother had never been the kind of mother he and Wanda had wanted. She had not been distant, but absent from their lives even when she had been physically present in the house. Men and alcohol had been more important than her children and yet, Peter mused, when she really wanted to turn over her life like this, she deserved a new start and for him to give her another chance. Kurt would probably even compel him to give her another chance, to forgive her maybe even. Maybe he should go with Kurt’s approach for once.

Tom was a nice man in his mid-fifties with mouse brown hair that was already thinning at the front as if his hair tried to escape his almost comically normal face. He had a bit of a pouch, but not nearly enough to be any sign of laziness or early stages of obesity, yet it was a hint of to why he had wanted a home gym that badly. The realization hit him harder than he would have expected. Tom was, despite his really bad dad-jokes a nice man truly, which usually would make Peter a bit suspicious of him. He was treating his mother good and he was treating Wanda like a princess who had beamed at Tom during their dinner. He had a daughter of his own, as Peter later learned when Tom explained this to him during dinner this evening, with his first wife Amy, but both of them were living in Colorado. It seemed that Tom was even the reason that his mother was sober because she apparently was. Peter asked Wanda later that night if their mother really stopped drinking and his sister promised that their mother had not touched a drop of alcohol in months. Or in other words, since she had met Tom.

»Hell, here I am, begging my mother to stop drinking all my life and Mr. Perfect just needs to smile at her and she goes sober in an instant. Is that fair, Ororo?« It was already late when he had picked up the phone in the guest bedroom. Of course, he had first had to make his sister go off the line so that he could have a little chat with his new bestie. His sister was a teenager now and she just came into that phase where every teenage girl would spend hours and hours on the phone with their friends - or even a crush, though Wanda was hopefully still too young for having her first crush. Usually, they would talk about stuff like this, but somehow Peter had not felt like they still had this kind of relationship now. It was probably even normal that Wanda would no longer tell her brother everything that was on her mind, and yet it stung a bit and quite hurt his ego even.

His stomach was so full he felt like bursting and the white painted ceiling above his head was unfamiliar and weird to look at. So much had changed in just a few months. He hardly recognized the place. The guest bedroom had always been more of a storage cabinet really, a room they would throw in all the stuff they didn't need. Now it was this pristine looking fancy guest bedroom with nice looking white drapes in front of the window, a nice looking old cabinet that his mother had apparently tried to refurnish with white paint and a few new handles. »And they made a gym out of my room, can you believe it!« A nice gym, actually, fully equipped with a treadmill, weights and a cross-trainer.

»Oh, Petey, what did you expect?« Ororo chuckled on the other end of the line. »You are not living there any longer but your mother has a life of her own, of course, she wants to change things up a bit now that she actually can.« Hearing the words that he had thought to himself already from another person was quite nice and reassuring, actually.

»It almost sounds as if I have been weighing her down.« Peter grunted. »I did not prevent her from changing things up! But you do understand that I’m angry, right?«

»Because she is sober now?« Ororo chuckled as she apparently could not get behind what Peter was saying or thinking. To be fair, though, Peter hardly knew this himself.

»Because she would never sober up for her children but for some random dude from the streets!«

»That I do understand, actually.« Ororo sighed on the other end and suddenly Peter felt like crap once more. Heck, here he was, whining and bitching about his dysfunctional family again while Ororo had no family at all … Just like Kurt. He could only imagine how lonely they both had to feel on a day like this, despite the fact that neither one of them had ever celebrated Thanksgiving before. »But then again, aren't you glad that she finally got her shit together?«

»Yeah…« He sighed. »Yes, I guess I am, but it would have been nice had she done it out of love for Wanda or me, you know?«

»I can imagine.« Ororo grew silent for a moment, but as she spoke up again, Peter only started to miss the institute even more. »But tomorrow at this time you’re home with us again and we can have drinks and laugh about this, right? Oh my God, Peter!« She then erupted and actually managed to startle him. Almost he could see her sitting up straight on her bed in alert. »You won’t believe what Kurt did today! He-« There was a loud noise, almost as if a bomb had gone off somewhere and the sound of screeching children, then the line was cut off.

»Ororo?« He yelled through the telephone even though it was clear that the line was dead. »Ororo! Fuck!« He was out of the guest bed in an instant and jumped back into his jeans and shirt without thinking twice about it. Apparently, the commotion coming from his room had attracted his mother's attention as she now burst into his room in her white nightgown, her blonde hair disheveled either from sleep or activities Peter did not want to bother his mind with.

»What's going on, Pietro?« She demanded to know as Peter put his shoes on faster than she would be able to see.

»Something happened at the Institute! I have to get going!« There was no way to actually tell that something happened at the institute that would need him to help, but he could feel it deep down inside of him anyway. Something wasn't right.

»But, Pietro…« She tried to grab his arm as he rushed past her, to no avail and so she hurried after him instead. »Pietro, it's Thanksgiving! We already see you so little since you moved out!«

»Mom, I have to help them if they need me!«

»This doesn't concern you! You are here now, you are celebrating!« He was not even surprised by her words or the old selfishness seeping through. Actually, he had expected nothing else.

»Mom, I don't care! It's not like any of you would have missed me anyway, right? You are just fine without me playing happy family! I have to go and help my friends.« He ripped his jacket from its hook, threw it over his shoulders and was out of the door within a heartbeat.

He reached the Institute forty minutes after he had left the house and he felt as if the soles of his shoes were burning up. The iron gate was wide open and it took him no time to realize that it had been broken open by the way the wings of the gate hung on their hinges. Still, he ran up to the wide open doors of the mansion, and though the thought that this might be a trap, occurred to him, he rushed through the entrance anyway. The mansion was pure chaos. Furniture had been turned over, vases and old busts of probably very important people shattered on the floor. Peter was stepping over broken glass and ceramic, some of the shards crunching under his feet, as he made it to the staircase. This was no party getting out of hand! This was the aftermath of an attack, Peter knew this and he did not need someone explaining it to him. There was blood on the floor here and there, only drops of it, not too much to have someone in critical condition from it.

The trail of blood, however, lead to the dormitory. _Kurt_. He had to check on his friend first, then again, if the mansion had been under attack, he would not find Kurt in his bed, no matter how deep his slumber usually was. Not even Kurt Wagner could sleep through an attack like this. As he reached the boys’ dorm he found that most doors had been ripped open and the rooms were almost completely turned over, books as magazines and stuffed animals and pillows and clothes lying strewn all over the ground.

 _The danger room,_ he thought. If there had been an attack, and by now it was obvious to him that this was the case, they were in the danger room. There were more than enough hidden passageways through the mansion and they made sure that the kids always knew how to get to the nearest to escape in case of emergency. Somehow it was heart-wrenching to know that there always was the possibility of outsiders coming in to harm them and that they were forced to teach their kids matters to escape in such a situation. Peter reached the danger room in no time, jumping over more broken furniture and broken glass on his way. He could see bullet holes in the walls he passed and felt his stomach turn.

»Professor, it's me!« Peter yelled through the door as he punched in the code to enter the room frantically. For a moment, he was afraid that he would not find the Professor and all the others here, but as he stumbled into the room, they were all there, huddled together in the middle of the room. A bunch of young children in their pajamas, one girl still held on to her teddy bear, sobbing into its fur. Ororo was the first to attack him with a hug. She was in her pajamas like all of them were and looked quite disheveled. There was blood running down her left arm and a deep cut splitting open her skin. Had she been graced by one of the bullets while ushering the younger kids into safety? They were trained to do so. Yet, Peter had not been here to help this time.

»Thank God you are here!« Ororo sighed with that strong accent of hers as she let go of Peter to pull him towards the Professor who was holding a little girl by the hand and tried to comfort her. She was bleeding from a wound on her leg too, but most of the kids seemed unharmed, only terrified.

»What the fuck happened?« He did not care if he was spouting profanities now while kids were around, even though the Professor was quick to look at him sternly for the slip-up.

»We don't know.« Ororo replied as she drove a hand through her hair. »I was on the phone with you as it happened. There was a loud bang suddenly and moments later I could hear a bunch of men running around in the hallways. They tried to capture the kids, but Kurt got them all out as I distracted our attackers. They looked like soldiers.«

»But they weren't soldiers.« The Professor replied quietly. »They were terrorists. I did not get much of a chance to get into their heads though before Kurt brought me here. They call themselves the Purifiers though and judging by the name, I think we can all assume what their goal was in attacking this school. They tried to capture mutants, but for what gain I do not know.«

»Where is Kurt anyway?« Ororo exclaimed nervously. Yes, now Peter too noticed that their blue furred friend was not around. It was of course hard to not notice when someone like Kurt was missing, but still, it had taken them some time. Well, Peter could at least say that he had thought Kurt had been sent away to do something but as the Professor seemed surprised that Kurt wasn't here either, they all knew that something had happened to the elf.

»He isn't here.« A girl hiccupped as she was pressing her teddy close to her chest just a few feet away from them. »He teleported away after he brought me here.«

»Ororo is everyone else here?« The Professor turned to the girl and she was quick to scan the room before she nodded.

»Everyone is here except Kurt, Professor. Surely he has gone off to fight back or make sure that he got everyone to safety!« Her face turned pale as the thought crossed her mind now.

»It has been fifteen minutes since I saw him last.« One of the boys suddenly chimed in as he looked at his watch, slowly inching closer to the adults and Storm.

»Professor!« Ororo was behind the Professor in an instant. »Can you locate him? Is he in the mansion somewhere? Does he need help? Is he hurt?« Kurt would be here if he was alright and all of them knew this. The fact that he wasn't here with them told them everything they needed to know and the realization struck all of them, even the children, to the core, that Peter could feel. He didn't need the Professor to tell him that he couldn't sense Kurt on the property to know that he had been taken.

※※※※※※※

»Fucking ugly-ass mutant scum…« It wasn't as if Kurt would not be used to hearing slurs like this, no matter whether in English or German. He was familiar with the hate that humans tend to have for people like Kurt. But that didn't mean it would not hurt or scare him. He was terrified, that was a truth he had to admit to himself if to no one else. He was terrified.  Every kick against the bars of his cage made him jolt away in fear. He was bleeding badly already from his nose and mouth from the punches he had received earlier and somehow he was sure that his nose was broken.

Maybe it had not been his most sophisticated or even graceful fight, but at least he had fought his attackers before they had managed to capture him like a wild beast with their fucking stun guns, sending electric shocks through Kurt's body and brain until he had fallen unconscious. Even now, despite the fear he felt in facing them, Kurt just bared his teeth and snarled at his attackers. He could feel the vibrations of a road beneath him and he knew that he was in a transporter of sorts. Two men were with him now, two more in the front of the vehicle, but the two that were with him now found great enjoyment in mocking him. Kurt knew that there was a much worse fate waiting for him. Still, he refused to show them how afraid he really was.

He was no longer the boy he had once been as he had been captured and brought to East Berlin. He was an X-Man now. A fighter. He would get out of this situation, some way or another.

»Oh, look at that!« The man who had hurled the last insult at him came closer now and crouched down in front of Kurt's cage. »Playing tough, huh? Don't worry, we’ll beat the toughness out of you, little Demon.« As he slammed down his fist hard on the cage Kurt flinched and only drew another fit of laughter from his captors. Ridiculous! What would his friends think would they see him cowering in fear like this? »Do you know what we are going to do with you, little Demon?«

Kurt didn't answer, not only because he had no clue but mainly because he did not want to grant them with an answer. »We are going to lynch you.«

****

**-End of Chapter 6-**


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks goes to SakataRi for helping me come up with stupid ideas and filling me in with X-Men knowledge. I raise my glass to you, Honey!

Of course, of all people, Kurt fucking Wagner had to play the hero. Of course, out of all people, Kurt had to go out of his way not only to save his fellow students from possible harm but to go out there to save the day and put the attackers to rout. It was about half an hour after Peter had arrived at the mansion that the Professor had pulled up the footage from the surveillance cameras with Ororo and Peter standing on each side of his wheelchair in the dimly lit room, hoping to see what had happened to their most favorite blue fuzzy elf.

It was hard to find Kurt on the tapes at the rate he had been teleporting around the building to get every last child out of harm's way. He was much quicker than he had ever been before and Raven would probably be proud to see the progress he had made under her teachings. They saw him collecting the last little girl only to then reappear a few seconds later on a different camera feed. »He really tried to fight them, didn't he?« Peter huffed as he watched how his best friend appeared on his favorite chandelier overhead of three of the terrorist that had been scamming through the mansion only to attack them from above and knock them unconscious in one swift move.

»He fucking kicked their ass! Look at that!« He then cheered and could not help but to feel proud of his friend. »You go, Elf! Yes! Show them what it means when they try to fuck with the X-Men!« At least this time the Professor did not even try to scold him in any way for his words of choice and he spared them all the remark that despite the talent in battle that Kurt had shown, it was probable that the boy had been taken. Kurt made it look so easy as he was attacking the attackers and yet they had to watch how one of the men he had previously knocked to the ground was suddenly behind him with a stun gun knocking Kurt unconscious with a shock of electricity and send the boy to the ground spasming from the shock. Instead of turning to look for other mutants, the group had then tied Kurt up and took him with them right then and there.

Peter saw one of the men talking into a walkie talkie that he took from the belt around his hips. All of them were wearing some kind of uniform completely in black and thus it was hard to really make out any details and the darkness of the video did not help in this regard either, as Peter was quick to point out, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. »We have to find him.« Peter muttered. »Professor, you have to do something, we have to find him!«

Hell, as if that was really something he needed to argue about with the Professor! Still, spouting out nonsense that already everyone knew was some kind of another superpower of his. They were entering Cerebro in no time and though the Professor had offered his doubts that he would find Kurt like this, they were trying anyway. Peter did not want to hear anything from the Professor or Ororo about not being able to find the elf. If anyone it was Professor X who would be able to do something like that!

As Cerebro roared to life just moments after they had arrived inside, Peter was trying his hardest not to bite his nails and it was Ororo who gently rubbed his back in some kind of odd try to comfort him. Did she know something? Was she maybe aware that Peter felt more for Kurt than just friendship or why would she know to comfort him now? Or was this her way of comforting herself and her own worries for the elf in keeping her hands busy? Peter had never really thought about it too much, as he had been too occupied with his own thoughts and feelings for that matter, but somehow they all got very attached to Kurt. It was evident in the worried gaze of Ororo now that Kurt had found a way for worm himself into the hearts of all of them and not just their little group of friends, oh no. Even the children, those he had rescued and those he was sometimes teaching German to and those who he helped on a regular basis. Everyone, really. Kurt had managed to sneak up on all of them and everyone liked him. There was not a single soul in this school who did not like Kurt Wagner. What an odd thing.

Being there when the Professor was using Cerebro was always an experience, but today Peter had no time for all the little white and red dots, around them that were glowing like stars in the darkened orb that was Cerebro. The Professor was turning his focus on the mutant population of the world, phasing out the white dots slowly until only the red ones remained, focusing solely on one of them in particular.  And then, suddenly the Professor grabbed Peter’s left underarm tightly.

»Kurt.« He sighed in relief.

»Where is he?« Peter immediately demanded to know before they could waste even more time. »Is he hurt? Can you talk to him?« But the Professor only raised his hand to silence Peter and then, a moment later, he looked at Peter and Ororo again in concern.

»He is on his way to Washington.« He stated as calmly as he possibly could but both of them could sense that he was not calm at all as he switched off the machine and took off his helmet just like this. »He is with a stray group that calls themselves the Purifiers, a militant terroristic mutant hating group. They want to lynch him in front of the Capitol to deliver an example to the human population.« His focus shifted to Peter. »You have to get him as fast as possible, Peter. They are going to do it by sunrise, do you think you-«

He did not let him finish his sentence, but Peter was sure that the Professor would forgive him for this amount of rudeness in the light of their new revelations, as Peter rushed once more to the danger room only to get his uniform. He could have gone to Washington as he was now, but the uniform would give him a bit more protection not only against the cold weather but those assholes that had taken Kurt. The jet was not practical in a situation as this as much as he would have loved to fly it, so instead the car it was.

Four hundred and twelve miles lay between Salem New York and Washington D.C. and no matter how fast Peter would run, even he had his limits. Gladly though the Professor’s car was quite fast, though not as fast as he was at his top speed. Peter was slamming down on the gas as he drove off without a care in the world for street signs or the possibility of getting in trouble as he was speeding off like this. He needed to get to Washington as fast as he could, that was all he could think about. He had thought about taking Ororo with him, but then he had thought that one of them should stay at the Institute just in case something else might happen. He would be able to do this alone, if not for his powers than surely because of his fury.

Sure enough he had to slow down every once in awhile because idiots were blocking the roads unable to drive properly despite the late hour, but all in all, Peter could watch the night fly by outside of the window of the car. He never looked at the clock and his only indication that the time was passing were the songs that were played on the radio and the light outside shifting ever so slightly as they were slowly approaching dawn. He had not much time left especially considering that he did not know in what condition Kurt might be in or what they were doing to his friend.

As he reached Greenbelt it was almost six o’clock, only minutes left until sunrise and yet dark enough to fool anyone into believing that sunrise was hours away still. He slammed down on the gas once more, pushing the Professor’s car to its limits as he was finally rushing over the city line and into Washington D.C. But despite his effort to arrive in time, he had no clue where exactly he could find them before the act. So, in the end, he aimed straight for the capitol and left his car in a side alley, wondering if he should wait until it would happen to rescue Kurt during the act. But what if they would kill him beforehand? What if they would injure him so gravely that it would be too late? He had a bad track record when it came to these things!

»Professor« He pushed the button on his intercom as he reached the Capitol by foot and went into hiding behind a line of bushes. From his position, he would be able to see when someone was approaching. Hell, he didn't like that. He needed to act before they could make a show out of it because that was what they wanted and nothing more than this. They wanted to capture and kill a mutant for the world to see, they wanted to declare war on them, they wanted revenge, they wanted that the human population would rise against them - and they found their ideal victim in Kurt, those lucky bastards. There was hardly any more mutant-looking mutants anywhere around for them to torture than Kurt Wagner.

Peter could only wonder if they might have known about Kurt before or if it had been pure coincidence that they happened to capture Kurt tonight. Then again, would they kill some random mutant kid that did not look particularly mutated, they would face the wrath of the public because they wouldn't be able to prove that the kid had been a mutant. Kurt, however, couldn't deny that fact. No, he was sure that this had not been a coincidence. They had known who they wanted to capture. Had they been watching the Institute? Had they seen Kurt before on one of his morning jogs with Scott? Had they seen him out in the Shopping Mall or anywhere else in town? Not long ago they had done a field trip to the national museum and Kurt had been disguised only with a base cap! They had seen him somewhere and they had come up with their plan to get him. Everything else had been just a distraction and every other mutant kid they would have found nothing more than an extra bargaining chip perhaps. »Professor, any news?« He kept his voice low just in case and to his relief, it did not take the Professor long to respond.

»He isn't far.« He said. »They are already at the Capitol. West Side of the building, around six-hundred feet - on a parking lot. Hurry!«

As if the Professor really needed to urge him to hurry when his best friend was in danger!

Peter found the spot where those bastards had parked their ugly ass van without a problem. They had set up camp on the parking lot that Professor X had described, close enough to the building, but far away enough so that they could escape with ease after the deed was done. Then again, Peter doubted that those who would be directly involved in the murder expected to get away with it anyway. This was the thing with most terrorist groups, after all. They liked to brag and they liked to cash in all the fame for the tragedies that they caused. After all, they thought themselves to be right in what they were doing, right? To them, killing mutants was nothing wrong. As he slowly crept closer to the spot where they had set up their camp, he saw that the van was surrounded by two SUVs, probably loaded with guns judging by the attack on the mansion beforehand. Peter would be horribly outnumbered would they see him because not even he could catch bullets if he wouldn't be fast enough to get away from them.

He perched in a bush at the side of the parking lot, for the time being, watching the cars and the van to try and make out patterns or at least how many men there were. He caught two having a smoke maybe thirty feet away from the cars, one sat behind the driver’s wheel of an SUV, a baseball cap pulled deep into his pink face, appearing to be dozing after the exhausting deeds he had done. Peter could spot a cut that was disfiguring the left side of his face, a bit of dried blood still clinging to his skin. He could only assume that there had to be at least six men around. He would probably be able to knock out the two smokers without getting detected because detection might be Kurt's death sentence. Peter would give everything for Kurt's powers in this moment. Would he just be able to teleport into that fucking black van everything would be much easier and he would not need to waste time in knocking out one guard after the other. Then again, time had always been on his side, he figured.

※※※※※※※

Even if he wanted to, Kurt would not be able to stand upright any longer. The attacks were vicious and much more brutal than everything that he had experienced up to this point in his life, that much was certain now as another kick came straight to his stomach and made him heave in pain and nausea, but nothing would come out. To be honest, he had already emptied the contents of his stomach hours ago and the inside of the van still smelled of it. He couldn't teleport away either because of the man who was behind him and holding him in place, pressed against his wide chest with strong arms. If he would try to escape, he would take the guy with him and that he couldn't risk because ultimately he would not win anything from it. By now he was desperate to try and figure out what Mystique would do in a situation as this. How would she react? How would she fight? Would she fight at all? Was it wise to fight?

Instead, he took the next blow to his face like a champ and tried not to scream out in pain. His skull was ringing by now from the pain shooting through his skull, vibrating in his bones, and the whole world was spinning out of control. He knew that they wanted to make an example out of him. He knew what their plan was and he would not allow them to go through with it. He would not be used as a reason to provoke a war between mutants and humans or as an excuse for humans to go after his fellow mutants. Somehow he would survive this. Somehow he would escape. He knew that he was able to and if it meant he needed to wait for the right moment, he would do so.

That was at least what he promised himself, that was what he told himself over and over with every punch, every kick he received, and every insult that he received. By now he was deaf to the slurs they spat at him. _Genetic freak_ was the nicest of the insults and not new to his ears at all. He had been called worse things in his life. He could survive this. He  _needed_ to survive this. Not only for himself, not only for his fellow mutants but because he still had unfinished business.

He had still not talked to Peter, _Pietro_ , about their conversation in the showers. He had taken his confession just like this and never responded to it. He had acted as if nothing had ever happened between them after this and he knew how bad Peter must feel now. He had experienced it before himself. He knew how bad it felt to be rejected and he didn't want him, his friend, to feel this way. But this was hardly the right moment to think about these things, he assumed as he was finally thrown back into his cage once more. Already they had stripped him out of his shirt. He had been changing into his pajamas as the attack happened and as they captured him he had been in his boxers and a thin t-shirt. They would probably strip him naked entirely before they would kill him.

He could only describe it as morbid curiosity that made him wonder just how they wanted to kill him. Would they hang him from a tree by his neck until he would suffocate? Would they slit his throat? Would they shoot him in the head? The cage door slammed shut loudly and Kurt immediately went limp behind his bars. He could not hide his terror any longer as he finally curled in on himself. Whatever they would do to him, he would get no chance to escape. They had already proven to be wary of his powers and that they would not risk letting him escape.

»Don't worry, little Demon.« One of the men said leaning down on the cage with all his weight to look down on Kurt again before he spat right through the bars of his cage. As the spit hit his left cheek Kurt glared at him and decided that he would take the image to heart. He would remember how this man looked down at him with his pale face and his almost dull grey eyes that had as much soul as a dead fish. Shaggy blond hair clung to his forehead and the unkempt beard he was wearing around his mouth and jaw all but gave him the creeps. »We are the good guys, you know? We are not doing this to unnecessarily torture you, only to purify you before your death, little Demon. Sure, you are not going to end up in heaven anyway, but it's God’s will that we give you the chance to repent for your sins before death.«

A small smile crept onto his face and took his attacker by surprise as he managed to speak again, although his throat felt like it was lined with sandpaper. He could feel the spit running down his cheek. »This is against God.«

»Against whose God?« The man chuckled with a mixture of surprise and affront on his face as the _demon_ dared to speak up against him. »You mutants are nothing more than the work of the devil himself and you are the best example of this fact.«

»Maybe« Kurt replied calmly and shrugged his shoulders upward a little. »But _my_ God would never let you do something like this. _My_ God would never forsake me, no matter what I look like or what narrow-minded fanatics like you say to me. _My_ God only forsakes those who kill in his name. _My_ God is capable of nothing but love. _My_ God even loves and forgives people like you.«

He just wished that he could at least have talked to Peter before all of this. Not having him around like he used to be the last few weeks was odd and did not feel right. He missed his best friend, despite everything - maybe even more than he should. With a heavy sigh, Kurt closed his eyes as he lay on the bottom of his cage. Why had it to be a cage? Why always a cage?

※※※※※※※

Just as Peter was about to creep up to the smokers to knock them out, he noticed how the van door slid open with a loud metallic sliding sound and an unmistakable _thud_ , just to reveal two more guys climbing out and into the fresh air of the early morning hours. In the dim light of the street lamps that stood every few feet in a straight line, he could barely see enough of how they looked. He could only make out the shaggy blonde hair of one of them. He was slightly bigger too and somehow Peter felt as if this guy might even be the head of this operation. His companion wore a hat and had his face in the shadows, a thick rope around his shoulders. Peter felt his stomach turn as he thought about the use he would make of that rope. After the guy with the rope and his compadre were out of sight after they had walked around the van, Peter decided that he would not waste another second. _To hell with being careful!_

He made a run for the still open van doors and just hoped that he would be mistaken for a gush of wind as he slipped into the van. The question of why they had not even locked the van door behind them was answered immediately as he found a large box at the opposite side of the door, with a black sheet draped over it. It did not take long for Peter to reveal the cage underneath the sheet and the sight could only further his anger. Kurt was locked inside of the cage that was barely big enough for a child, let alone a tall teenage boy, curled into a ball to get as comfortable as possible. Kurt needed to see where he was teleporting to when he had never been there before and even he could only teleport so far. Those assholes were either extremely dumb to only secure him from getting away with a sheet over the cage or they knew exactly how Kurt's powers did manifest themselves. Either way, he needed to get him out and that pronto.

As he moved even closer to the cage in front of him now after he had tossed the sheet to the side carelessly, he saw Kurt's head twitch and seconds later his yellow eyes opened and stared at him through the dark strands of hair. It was impossible to say if he had been unconscious before or just dozing. A smile crept over Peter's face despite the display in front of him.

Kurt was naked except for his well-worn boxer shorts. He was covered in cuts and bruises although these injuries were hard to see due to his blue skin and the fine fur that was covering him from head to toe. He was shivering in the cold November air that came through the open van door and had wrapped his thin arms around his chest in what looked like seeking comfort from the cold or as if he was trying to hold himself together. The pain he must be in was easy to imagine, yet Peter would not dare to say he would know what his friend was really going through. Blood that had been running out of his nose and mouth clung dried to his face.

»Kurt« Peter whispered as silently as he could as he grabbed the lock of the cage. He would need either a key or brute force. He decided he would go with brute force but before he would try to open the cage he needed to make sure that everything was ready for an immediate escape, no matter just how much he wanted to make those bastards pay for what they had done to Kurt. It seemed to take Kurt a moment to realize that he was not alone anymore and as he did, Kurt flinched away from the bars closest to Peter like a caged and frightened animal and yet he opened his bloody mouth to speak.

»Peter?« His voice was hoarse and quiet, but at least he was still alive, at least he was still there even though his eyes seemed to stare right through him in this very moment. Kurt had not shut himself in out of fear despite everything, despite just how much this had to remind him of East Berlin and the underground fighting ring, he was still there, still had fight inside of his heart and a fire burning in his soul. The tail that had been lying curled up in front of him until now gave a sorry attempt of a little twirl as if to greet him.

»Pssst, yeah it's me, I get you out, don't be afraid.« He expected him to argue, to say that he wasn't afraid, but the words didn't come which was all the more concerning, to be honest. Yes, Kurt was afraid, terrified even. He could feel the terror radiate from his body and to no surprise really as he thought about what Kurt had told him before. He had been in a cage before. He had been beaten and tortured before. Now he was again in a situation like this with the grim fate of being publicly lynched looming ahead like a dark cloud. »Listen, I will get the blindfold off of you and open the cage. It will be loud and you need to be ready to teleport us out of here, okay, Blueberry?« As he moved ever so slightly, Peter could see the burn marks on Kurt’s skin, caused probably by the stun guns these assholes seemed to like so much.

»I don't think I can do this.« Kurt whispered quietly. He sounded terribly exhausted and to no surprise really. He wondered how many times he had been shocked, how much he had been beaten. »A few meters perhaps … that's all I can do now… They got me pretty good, I'm afraid.« He even tried a smile, but it was more a sorry attempt that fell flat immediately due to the blood on his usually ridiculously white teeth.

»You need to try anyway.« Peter urged. »A few meters are good enough, leave the rest to me, Elf.« Not even now Kurt protested as he would usually do. Usually, he would say something like _I'm no princess that needs rescuing!_ But he didn't say anything, which only added to what Kurt said. He was too weak to be of help in this situation and both of them knew this. Still, he would not let Kurt off the hook so easily. He would be damned if he would not have him involved in this rescue! Of course, he would be able to get him out of here and them both into safety before anyone could even realize what was happening, but what would this do to Kurt’s self-worth? Maybe this was not the right time to worry about something like this.

»You can do this.« Peter proceeded. »I know you can do it, alright, Elf?« Now was not the time to cry and lament. Kurt wanted to be a fighter, he wanted to be an X-Man and thus he would need to learn to fight in a situation as this. »You can lick your wounds when we are home, okay? Ororo gets us cocoa and we will sit on the sofa in front of the fireplace and then you can cry - but not now.« His words were harsh and he intended them to be this way because now Kurt nodded and seemed to snap out of it.

After Kurt’s little nod, Peter’s eyes remained locked on those of his friend just a moment longer, before he gave Kurt one last reassuring look and turned to stand up and face the lock again. He needed something to pry it open and to his luck, he found a crowbar not too far off on the ground inside the van. He picked it up without hesitation, turning back to the cage. Not knowing to where those men had gone off to or when they would come back to the van to get their victim, Peter decided to make haste while his heart was beating loudly in his chest. Being lightning fast was awesome, yes, but if he had learned one lesson from Mystique’s teachings or the moment Apocalypse had broken his leg, then it was not to be too cocky and that even he could not be too careful if he did not wish to find his end in a hail of bullets ripping through his body as if he was a Swiss cheese. »Are you ready?« He asked as he got the crowbar through the lock to pry it open. Kurt nodded again and quickly moved closer to the cage door before Peter, with a loud and sharp metal _bang_ , pried open the lock. It almost sounded like one of Jubilee’s fireworks going off. The cage door jumped open and Kurt crawled out of the cage in an instant.

»Peter, watch out!« Kurt's scream took him by surprise as it ripped through the van, and right as Peter whirled around he was confronted with one of Kurt’s captors. Even he was not quick enough to escape the stun gun and felt his whole world turning dark the moment the electricity shot through his system.

Why was it that he always fucked things up? And why was it that a man with a power set as his was always too late when it mattered? How was it even remotely possible that he had not noticed the man before he had been able to attack him? It was true what he once told a group of kids in a jet: He was just a total loser.

He didn't know how long he had been out after he fell hard with his back against Kurt's cage, but as he managed to get his eyes open again, the van was empty except for himself, of course. Peter's heart was racing the moment he realized what Kurt’s absence meant. He scrambled to his feet to jump out of the van. The sun was rising already. He was too late! But as his feet made contact with the concrete of the parking lot, Peter was witness to the most unbelievable thing he had ever seen, and for just the fragment of a second, Peter was sure he was dreaming all of this.

And when he realized that it was not a dream, he decided that he would never believe Kurt again when the elf would tell him that he was not able to do anything.

All but one of the terrorists laid scattered across the parking lot, seemingly unconscious but not bleeding - or at least not on first glance. Peter almost stumbled over the man that had probably been responsible for him going down like he did. The stun gun was lying next to him on the ground and the man himself seemed to have been thrown out of the van almost only to land a few feet away on the ground. He had apparently hit his head quite badly and was still bleeding from the wound. Had this been Kurt's doing? Another man was still conscious but moaning and writhing in pain because of the two hunting knives that had been pushed into his body, pinning him to the side of one of the SUVs going straight to his left wrist and his right thigh. The attack had been vicious, that was for sure and somehow he doubted that Kurt had had some help.

One could ask why Peter was sure that Kurt was responsible for this brutal ass-whooping that had been delivered to this group of monsters, after all, Kurt was one of the most peaceful guys Peter had ever had the good fortune of knowing, it was only the fact that the Kurt he found in the parking lot, was not the Kurt he had ever seen before. The man that was dangling from a streetlamp by his feet in the pink tinted light of the rising sun, was a demon.

»Suffocation is the least bit of your problems.« The demon hummed and a wide grin was splitting his face into two unequally big halves, baring his sharp teeth threateningly. His hands were hanging leisurely down over his head, his tail, however, was tightly wrapped around the last conscious man’s throat, holding him only inches above the ground. Hell, had he not been in love with Kurt Wagner before, now would be the moment he would have fallen for the demon elf for sure.

Peter was slow to step closer and his bones were still humming from the electric shock, but he inched forward towards Kurt and the helpless writhing man who was pulling desperately on Kurt's tail to get it off. »We require information.« Kurt all but purred, his grin menacing, but the man kept resisting him. »Never!« He yelled as he was trying to get free from Kurt’s all too tight grip, but Kurt only tightened his tail around the man and gave him a quick hard squeeze to make him choke on his own spit all while ignoring Peter’s presence completely.

Not that any of this would stop Kurt if anything it urged him to move in on the man, their faces now the lengths of Peter’s underarm away from one another. »I was hoping you’d say that.« And with every word, he was moving his face closer to that of the terrified human as if he was defying all gravity by now, making use of all his acrobatic skills as if it would take him no effort, as if he had not been beaten bloody this night and was not still wearing the signs of their treatment on him. The blood that had been coming out of his mouth and nose still clung to his fur and made him look even more savage all of the sudden. The awkward and shy teenage boy was gone for good. »We have ways of making you talk.« He hissed, baring his teeth with every syllable so that the man got a good view of his sharp fangs. »But many more of making you _die_.« Peter was so close now that he could see the beads of sweat that were running out of the man’s dirty blond hair down his forehead and dropping into his unkempt beard. It was the guy who he had thought to be in charge earlier and Kurt seemed to even find joy in causing him pain. »This is the moment I’ve long looked forward to.« Kurt's face was so close to the man now, that he might as well bite his nose off.

»No … _Please_!« The man whined, his pride from earlier all but forgotten and Peter felt a pang of a sudden thirst for revenge in his chest. The ugly monster was rearing its head again, demanding blood for what had been done to Kurt this night. This asshole should suffer as much as Kurt had. He didn't deserve to live, not after what he had planned on doing, not after running into a school with sleeping children, armed to the teeth and ready to kill every last one of them and only because they were mutants. It was thrilling to see a man like this fall apart.

»You know what I want.« Kurt grinned and suddenly he poked his right index finger against the man's nose almost playfully. »My patience is running thin.« His voice was sweet as honey, but his face remained menacing. Apparently, this did the trick as the man finally broke down and spit out everything Kurt wanted to know, starting by just who the fuck they were, what they wanted, why they had attacked the institute and how they had done it. Only then, as Kurt got everything out of the man he dropped him to the ground and was behind him before the man could even think about running away. It only took Kurt a well aimed hit with the gun the man had dropped earlier to make him join his unconscious friends.

»You see me amazed.« Peter later admitted as he slammed shut the van’s door and blocked it with the rope one of the men had been intending to use on Kurt and the crowbar from earlier. »And you still think we should just leave them to the police like this?« The beast inside of him still demanded their death, but they were X-Men, they were the good guys and this was not on him to decide. If anyone’s, it was Kurt’s call to make. Those assholes would not escape until the police would arrive and until then he and Kurt would be long gone, hopefully. His friend had looked quite content as he had thrown the shaggy-haired leader of this group into the cage. Now, however, Kurt seemed to be freezing as the adrenaline was wearing off. Sure enough, it was only a matter of time until he would feel the impact of his injuries once more.

»It's not on us to decide what's happening to them from now on.« Kurt replied, but although his voice was steady and not as hoarse as before, the real damage inflicted upon him started to show again as he made stumbling steps towards the parking lot’s exit, still only dressed in his boxer shorts and apparently not giving a damn about it. Peter was beside him in an instant, took off his silver leather jacket and hurled it around Kurt's narrow shoulders. There was no protest.

»But they wanted to kill you.« Peter reminded him and felt like a fool for doing so. It was not as if Kurt would have forgotten this teeny-tiny detail, after all.

»Yeah … But I'm still alive, _oder_?« The yellow eyes glinted mischievously at him before he was clutching Peter’s jacket to his chest.  

Peter chuckled and couldn't help but to put an arm around his shoulders. »Barely.« He teased and really, it didn't take long until Kurt stumbled against him. His legs were no longer cooperating after the beating he had taken this night. »Thank you for saving my ass…« Peter then said as he stopped with Kurt at his side and granted him the most awkward and embarrassed smile he got. »The plan was originally that I would save your ass, you know? For once, I wanted to be your knight in shining armor…«

»Well, but I'm no princess and I can whoop your ass anytime, don't ever underestimate me, Pietro Maximoff.« Kurt frowned but the smirk creeping up on his face betrayed his intent.

»You know what?« Peter grinned and cast a quick glance back at the van. The fight that had taken place was still evident in the parking lot and one of the SUVs, but the van was still silent. »After seeing what you did to that poor guy - I believe you, Elf. And now come on, hop on my back and were out of here. If I can’t be your knight, I will gladly be your horse instead. You need a bath and I need something to eat.«

Needless to say that their way back home to the Institute was a little more awkward than it should have been between friends. They were stopping every few miles either to get gas for the tortured vehicle or because both of them desperately needed a break every once in awhile to stretch or just move a bit. »That was really cool, you know?« Peter sighed as they were reaching Each Greenwich. Kurt had curled up on the passenger’s seat as much as possible despite Peter ushering him to just stretch out on the backseat instead. It was about time Hank would get to have a good look at him and yet, Peter tried not to make the mistake of underestimating Kurt's level of pain tolerance. Which only made him question now in retrospect just how badly he had been treating his body a few months ago when he had collapsed in the showers. He only gave a low hum in response, a small sign of life coming from him after he had pulled up Peter’s jacket high enough to hide behind the collar. »What you did to that guy, I mean. Hell, I almost didn't recognize you…«

»See?« Kurt finally answered with a small grin on his lips as he made an effort to look at Peter and turned his head barely enough for him to see his face. He looked tired as hell how he sat there and Peter could not wait to get home finally. By now it was noon already. He had only given the Professor a short notice that they were on their way home before they left DC and the Professor had told him that Hank was already waiting for them after Professor Xavier had apparently called him back from his holidays. Surely, the others were all antsy by now. »I’m _bound_ to become an actor…«

Peter caught himself laughing as he threw another glance at Kurt and the demon only smirked at him. »Yeah« Peter sighed as he leaned back in the driver's seat a little more comfortable now. »Oscar worthy…«

He was almost sure that Kurt had fallen asleep shortly thereafter and so relaxed even further as he just focused on the road and its vibrations and the music coming from the radio. _Sweet Dreams_ was on, one of his favorite songs of all time for sure and Peter found himself humming quietly and drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. He was not a big fan of silence. It reminded him too much of the awkward family dinners whenever his mother had introduced a new man into his and his sister’s lives.

»You know, I don't hate you because of what you said to me.« Kurt startled him so badly that he almost pulled the steering wheel to the side and would have driven head on into an upcoming truck, but luckily Peter caught himself quickly enough. As he glanced to the side to where Kurt was sitting, the elf sat still slumped in his seat, not moving more than absolutely necessary.

For once in his life, he didn't know what to say or to do, so he just looked at him and that seemed to push Kurt to speak again.

»I mean … that you are in love with me.« He mumbled quietly and sounded almost a bit uncertain as if he was not sure if this had really happened or had been just a part of his vivid imagination. »I do not hate you because of this. And I’m not disgusted by you either. It's just … I want to go back to how it was, you know? I never had friends like you guys, I never had a _best_ friend. I miss having you around. I miss being able to tell you everything. I miss _you_.«

Hearing those words from Kurt actually felt like a relief as Peter threw another short glance at his friend and found himself smiling at Kurt even though his face was already hidden behind the collar of Peter’s jacket once more. Still, he kept his quiet as he finally, after what felt like an eternity, left the Titicus Road to drive off into Graymalkin Lane and the more forested area of North Salem. The road was quiet and the late autumn sun was shining through a canopy of dead tree branches and painted intricate patterns onto the asphalt.

»I miss you too.« Peter finally confessed as the school came into sight after a while of him driving in silence with just the radio to break through that silence. As he got no response from Kurt he turned to look at his friend, fearing that he might have passed out from his injuries, but as he saw how his chest rose and fell calmly and heard the deepening breaths, he grew aware that Kurt had managed to fall asleep so shortly before they got home. »Look who’s the idiot now.« He hummed as he leaned back again more comfortably in his seat to put the last bit of distance behind them.

****

**-End of Chapter 7-**

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I drew inspiration for the "suffocation-scene" from this page http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lNbBY_GCaRw/VSDkc4QzCgI/AAAAAAAJzcE/MAj5uCr6cFU/s1600/p5_44%2Bcopy.jpg from the Comic "God Loves, Man Kills"


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> "Ich hab heute nichts versäumt, denn ich hab nur von dr geträumt" - I didn't miss out on anything today, 'cause I only dreamed of you"  
> "Du weißt" - You know  
> "oder?" - lit.: or - in this case: right?  
> "Warum nich'(t)?" - Why not?  
> knutschen - canoodling  
> "Hör mal" - Listen,

Leaving a bunch of teenagers in a big ass mansion for the celebration of New Year's Eve without adult supervision, was quite the risky move. Leaving a bunch of mutant teenagers in a big ass mansion for the celebration of New Year's Eve without adult supervision, was an even riskier move. Still, Pietro Maximoff decided that they needed to give the Professor kudos for that. At least Xavier had the guts to give them a chance as he himself had gone out for a little vacation in the snowy Rocky Mountains with some of his old friends. This was an adult thing, Peter mused as he watched Ororo dance through the living room with a beer bottle in her hand to the tune of _Lucky Star_ by Madonna blaring from the stereo in the back of the Great Room.

So, while Professor X and Hank were sitting in some skiing lodge with their old friends and drank wine and had a chat about something intelligent, Peter was perfectly contempt at the mansion with music blaring out of the stereo, his friends that stayed over the holidays at the school, and beer.

The Professor would not have left a bunch of teens alone in the Institute without some form of adult supervision at least, of course. _Peter_ was the adult supervision. Not the best choice, probably, but a choice nonetheless. A brave choice, at this. Of course, in the beginning of the party, Peter had really tried to keep his friends in line, but somehow this didn't really work out. It had only taken him and his friends an hour really to find the alcohol and start cranking up the volume of the music. To be perfectly honest, Peter would have thought it would not take them as long. They had had dinner with delivery pizza and fondue in the early evening hours as everyone had still been a little more well-behaved.

Peter had been surprised, to say the least, as Scott and Jean had decided that they would stay at the Institute for New Year’s after they had been spending Christmas with their families. Ororo had no family to go back to anyway and she apparently had not wanted to join Jubilee and her family, which would have meant leaving Kurt all alone. So, they had decided to all stay and celebrate as a team. That was at least what they had told Kurt. In fact, this had not been planned very much. Every one of them had not wanted Kurt to be by himself tonight.

Still, the only reason why it had taken them so long to find the booze was probably Jean Grey - the only real adult in this mansion as of right now and the one person who had somewhat planned the dinner and program of the night. It was not her fault that no one stuck to her plan.

»So, who are you going to kiss when midnight rolls around, Jeanie?« Peter grinned as he put an arm around Jean’s shoulders and pulled her closer towards him before taking another swipe from his beer bottle.

»Not you, that's for sure.« She snickered as she gently stabbed her thin pointy fingers in Peter's side to make him let go of her. She succeeded as Peter flinched away from her and her potential deadly weapons.

»And not Scott either?« Peter grinned mischievously as he once again raised the bottle to his lips. Even Kurt had found enjoyment in drinking beer after Peter had introduced him to the liquid a little earlier. Jean blushed but did not really look all too flustered or ashamed as she took a sip of her own beer and sat down heavily on the comfortable leather couch in front of the fireplace only to be joined by Peter. He had lost track of where Ororo, Kurt or Scott went. They couldn't be far and as the designated supervisor for this party, Peter could only hope that they were not doing anything really stupid.

As long as they would not get the glorious idea of taking a joyride with the X-Van or the jet or activating the danger room, there was not much they could do to harm themselves within this mansion. They were probably raiding the kitchen.

»I don't think that this is any of your concern, Petey.« She hummed as she rested her left arm on the backrest, turning her body towards him and sinking a bit deeper into the couch. Peter mirrored her posture so that only their hair and their arms would be visible from behind the couch now. It almost was as if they had secrets to discuss.

»Yeah … But, I really don't get what you two are doing, y’know?« Peter smirked again. »You like him, don't you? And he likes you - like _a lot_. So why don't you give him a chance?« Was he really trying to set them up? Maybe. At least that might lift Scott’s spirits.

»Maybe I will?« Jean grinned but Peter rolled his eyes.

»Not at this rate, Jeanie. Come on, give the poor guy a chance - or at least a sign that it's okay to approach you, you know? Unlike you, he can't read your mind. Hell, he’ll probably think you have a thing for me like we’re sitting here and whispering like this…« Not that he would not like making Scott a little jealous. It was always fun teasing Mr. Shades McGee.

Jean sighed and threw her back into the backrest now instead, before taking another - this time bigger - sip of her beer. »You know« She started after she had swallowed the alcohol and only turned her face at him now to look at him out of her green eyes, her cheeks slightly flushed from the effects the alcohol took on her. She wore her hair loose again today and had decided to put on her most favorite grey dress. Nothing too frilly, nothing to chic, only enough to make a statement and show off her natural attributes while still being modest and cool with a long necklace around her thin neck and a few colorful pearl bracelets around her left wrist. »I could ask you the same thing about you and Kurtie.« Now her grin turned almost menacing and Peter was quick to throw a glance over the backrest of the couch to make sure no one heard them.

He just saw a flash of purple in the hallway before shrill laughter erupted from further down the hall. Kurt was probably showing off again. Well, as long as he would not spill his beer… »What about me and Kurtie?« He frowned as he turned back to Jean, but she only rolled her eyes mimicking what he had done before.

»Petey, really, I thought we were over this! You like him and he likes you, to put it in the same words you used.« Peter could feel heat creeping into his cheeks for that was not really a topic he liked to discuss and Jean really was the only person who knew what was going on between him and his best friend. Well, no. There was nothing going on between him and his best friend, that was the point, wasn't it?

»Drop it, Jean, alright?« He sighed heavily and brushed back his grey hair a bit. »I mean … Yeah, I like him.« Because what would lying to Jean achieve anyway? »I like him much. I want to be with him more, I want him to feel the same way I do, but since this is never going to happen, why should I make a move and scare him off?« _Another_ move, he had almost said but since he did not know how much Jean really knew and if she was aware of the incident at the mall, he much rather kept his mouth shut about it. He did not want to look like a pervert. Not any more than he already did.

»What makes you assume that you might scare him off?« She smiled and there was a bit more warmth creeping into her voice now.

Peter scoffed and finally emptied his bottle in one big swipe. »We are talking about the same dude, aren't we?« He sighed. »Kurt is the most naive person I have ever met in my entire life, Jeanie and that he is deeply religious and Catholic does not make it easier, you know? I doubt that he would ever feel the same way as I do and even if he did, do you really believe he would ever dare acting on it? I mean, in light of his faith? Hah … No, not gonna happen.« There was a shriek coming from somewhere in the house. It sounded like coming from the Great Hall at the end of the big staircase. He almost felt compelled to go looking for his friends - if only to escape this discussion. »Look, Jeanie, as much as I’m grateful for your compassion for my situation and your advice, Kurt is my friend and I would much rather have him just as a friend than not at all.«

Suddenly he was confronted with Jean’s slim right hand touching his left cheek gently as she was brushing her fingers over his skin. »You are sweet, Pete.« She smiled. »Very sweet even. And a bit dumb too.«

Peter was just about to ask Jean what she meant as there were footsteps coming running towards them and then slithering to a halt not too far behind the couch. »Oh, my god guys, you won't believe who just came to Ororo for dating advice!« Scott. Of course, it was Scott who would ruin the moment and hinder Peter on enquiring more information from Jean.

Peter and Jean rose at the same moment and for a second he was sure that he had seen Scott's smile falter and drop to the ground. Yeah well … Peter did not want to know how the situation looked in Scott's eyes now. He was quick to pick up his stupid grin though, even though it was much more unsure and forced than before. » _Kurt_ , you guys. Maybe he will give Jubilee a chance after all?«

It was already around ten as Peter went on a stroll around the house just to check on everything. Unlike his companions, he was not as buzzed, but then again he could stomach a lot more than these kids anyway. He had left Scott and Jean in front of the TV in the living room, hoping that Jean would take his advice to heart and finally make a move on Scott because Scott sure as hell would not do this - especially not now. He was much too awkward to even try and convince Jean of giving him a chance. Well, they were still young and had a lot of time to figure everything out.

And what about him?

Well, he was only twenty-three and there was still a lot of time left for him to find true love and romance, a partner, and someone to maybe even have a family with. Despite how he felt for Kurt, up until this point he had never fallen for guys. He only had girlfriends previously and yet, thinking about it now, despite the heartbreaks he had suffered, he felt as if he had never felt for any of them as strongly as he did for Kurt. Maybe his unconsciousness had always pushed him into this direction so that he would not need to deal with the truth. The truth was harsh and unfriendly and scary. The truth meant ridicule from society and just another stigma in addition to being a mutant.

Would he ever find someone who would willingly accept such a combination of stigmas just to be with him? He envied Scott and Jean, even though they were still acting like stupid kids instead of being happy together. He would probably start envying Kurt and Jubilee too when they would inevitably get together now that Kurt seemed willing to give her a chance. And he would be envious of Ororo and whoever she would end up with.

He had strayed away from dating altogether for the last couple of years ever since he dropped out of school and buried his dreams and plans under a ton of bricks to hole himself up in the basement of his mother's house, but he was still aware that even during this time, he had desired a relationship. He had wanted a life of his own, to not live his entire life in his mother's house, to have someone he could love and pick the stars from the heaven for. But he had always pushed those feelings aside and drowned them in white noise and arcade lights and sounds until the grey had taken over everything and washed away all color.

The truth was, he could feel it even now, creeping in his peripheral at all times, coming closer as soon as routine would kick in. The only times he could keep the grey at bay was the hours he would spend alongside Kurt. Hell, why had his brain to be so cheesy? Why had it to be so dramatic all the time? As if their lives as X-Men weren't dramatic enough already, really.

Still, Scott's words had stung and a part of him was pretty sure that he had said it on purpose. Scott was sometimes hard to read with this whole not being able to look him in the eyes thing. He was not too sure what Scott might have thought as Peter and Jean had resurfaced on the couch together as if they had been canoodling out of sight from them, but knowing Scott he had probably thought exactly that. And yet, sometimes Peter feared that Scott already knew about Peter’s real feelings. Why else would he sometimes drop little hints and hidden attacks on him whenever he felt like he needed to?

He was probably just getting a bit paranoid.

He didn't want anyone to find out. Not so much because of himself, though, but he was afraid how Kurt might react when people would know about Peter's sexuality (hell that sounded so wrong to him!), knowing that he and Kurt were always together, glued to one another almost. Kurt had had it hard enough already in his life. He did not need people assuming things about him in addition to all that crap just because he would hang around Peter all the time.

Maybe this was just another sorry attempt of an excuse, he thought bitterly. Maybe it was not fair to Kurt. Maybe he should just own up to his true feelings and tell everyone. It was not as if he had ever been the noblest guy in the world anyway, right?

With a little tune on his lips, Peter rounded the next corner only to stop dead in his tracks as he saw the flash of white hair at the end of the hallway close to the window at the end that was leading outside and allowing a rather undisturbed look over the park. Peter smirked and wanted to call out for Ororo, but then he started to realize that she was not alone. Kurt was sometimes a bit hard to see when he would stay in the shadows like he was now, despite the fact that every hallway was lit.

Ororo and Kurt stood pretty close and though Peter could not see every detail, he was pretty sure that they were talking about something until Ororo suddenly bridged the distance between them and placed a kiss on Kurt's left fuzzy cheek. His heart suddenly stopped in his chest and Peter was sure he would drop dead any minute now. He didn't. His heart began beating again as he saw how Ororo turned her face and noticed him. As her face lit up in a brilliant smile, he felt his blood boil. Sure enough, Ororo had no clue how he felt about Kurt, yet she was his best female friend and somehow it felt like betrayal. Yes, that was the right word. Betrayal.

Yet, he forced his own face into a smile as he walked on. Kurt looked a bit surprised to see him, not to say a little embarrassed as he came out of the shadows and into the light. His face had a darker shade of purple than usual. That poor soul. He was probably a bit overwhelmed by all the people trying to get in his pants. First Jubilee, then Peter and now even Ororo!

As he walked up to the both of them he saw how Ororo nudged Kurt into the side, but Kurt only flinched and then, suddenly, in a dark blue cloud with a loud BAMF, he was gone. »Oh hell no!« Ororo laughed as she waved away the sulfur lingering in the air. »It's unbelievable! This dude is such a chickenshit sometimes! How do you even cope with that?« She addressed Peter before sneaking one arm around his waist and leaning her head against his shoulder, her half empty beer in her left hand.

Peter mirrored her gesture even if begrudgingly so. It was not her fault that he was jealous. Plus, Ororo was much closer to Kurt age wise anyway. He would much rather have her as Kurt's girlfriend than Jubilee. Ororo at least would let Kurt be who he was and tried not to change him with strange clothes or in trying to change his attitude. Not that Jubilee would be a bad person, but she was much more hyper and carefree than Ororo and Peter felt like a more solemn girl like Ororo would fit him better. Ororo knew what it meant to have to fight for survival and she had been there when this whole end-of-the-world-thing happened. She would be good for Kurt. He could see that.

»So what was that about anyway?« Peter asked as calmly as he could, even though he had to admit that even he felt the effects of the alcohol in his system already. It was hard for him to get drunk most of the times, but he did feel the buzz.

»Our dearest little Kurtie asked for some advice in terms of love, you know?« Ororo smirked. »I told him he should go ask Jean or Scottie about it. Of course, I had my fair share of boyfriends in the past and am not a completely inexperienced young maiden, but I thought it would be much funnier to have him ask Jean or Scott instead. Just to make them uncomfortable.«

»You are the devil.« Peter congratulated his friend as he pulled her a bit tighter to his side. Like this they were strolling through the mansion for a little while longer, talking about nothing in particular, only interrupted by one or two stories about some ex-lover of Ororo’s. Apparently, she had once dated a thief in Cairo and that was how she learned to steal cars and pick locks. Not to mention the boyfriend who had been working as a cashier at a supermarket and sneaked out food and change sometimes.

Pietro’s own former girlfriends had been much more boring in this regard, actually.

As they came back to the other three, Kurt was hanging from the chandelier in the middle of the room, singing along to _Nur geträumt_ from Nena and Jean and Scott were playing cards. Apparently, Kurt too had been involved in the game for he was still holding his cards in his tail, gripping onto the chandelier with his feet. » _Ich hab heute nichts versäumt, denn ich hab nur von dr geträumt!_ « Came it from the chandelier as the song was blaring from the stereo.

As midnight came closer, they were all outside on the balcony that was overlooking the park with two large stairs to either side leading down into the park. While Peter was setting up the fireworks that he and Scott had bought just a few days ago after it became clear that they would stay here, Kurt and Ororo were chasing each other through the park. »They are cute together, aren't they?« Jean was suddenly by his side, a teasing little smile playing on her face. She was undoubtedly buzzed like everyone else and Peter was just glad that Scott had not had the glorious idea to try and shoot the statues in the park with his eyes. Apparently, Scott was a rather sleepy drunk and now heavily leaning against the balustrade - unlike Kurt and Ororo who were both happy drunk.

»Yeah, cute as a bunny rabbit.« He scoffed. »They’re so cute someone should shoot them.«

Jean laughed and started massaging his shoulders as she stood behind him while he was still setting everything up for the big moment. He wondered if Kurt ever had seen fireworks on New Year's Eve. Had there been parties? How were the customs in Germany? So many things to wonder about. »Oh, Petey…« Jean laughed. »You are so cute, Petey!«

She clearly was buzzed. »And you should go kiss Scott before he starts shooting the statues in frustration. The Professor will kill me if Scott does this.« Then again, the Professor would probably kill him anyway for bringing booze into this house and letting minors drink. Especially Kurt who had never come into contact with alcohol before. Then again Kurt had convinced Peter that in Germany it was totally cool for minors to drink beer. So, Peter had made sure that Kurt would stick to beer. He was a responsible adult, after all.

»Oh, come on, Pete…«

»No, really Jean … why aren't you talking to him about this?« Gently he ushered her to help him so that she would crouch down beside him and thus might talk to him a bit more open. Jean sighed as she complied and helped him to set up the fireworks. He had not bought too much and clearly not as much as he would have liked, but someone had to fire them, after all, and that would be him. No matter how fast he was, a proper firework needed timing and grace.

»Maybe I don't know if these things would work out between us, you know?« She finally admitted. »Scott is great and all, but he does not have a clue what being with someone like me would really mean to him. I mean, I would always know what he was thinking and I don't know if a relationship could really survive that much openness. Everyone has their secrets … And everyone is entitled to their secrets. I don't want him to look at me at some point in anger because I already know what his deal was, you know?«

»Hell, I would love to know what Kurt thinks…«

»Yeah… It's funny in the beginning.« Jean agreed quietly. »I mean after I first realized that I was not crazy and hearing voices but the thoughts of the people around me, I found it quite entertaining to listen in. But it soon lost every bit of comical attribute as I realized that I was not able to control it or drown out the voices. I started to get sick from it. There was never silence and I only slept when I would take some of my mother's sleeping pills. There was no one I could have talked to either without being submitted to the loony bin. I knew that my dad had an affair with his secretary, Marge, before my mother knew it. And I knew it before she did that my dad would leave us for Marge. I told her that we would manage just fine on our own that evening, completely forgetting the fact that she was not aware of the truth yet.« She sighed again and gripped his shoulder in what seemed to be a comforting gesture. »You see, there is a reason why people sometimes should be able to keep their secrets to themselves without a nosy telepath snooping around in everyone's heads.«

Peter smiled compassionately at her, well, at least he hoped it looked that way and not as if he was having a stroke. »I still think you should try it and give Scott a chance, you know? Sure, he is an A-level idiot, but I think you might misjudge him, y’know?« Just like Jean, he was slurring his words just a little and not as noticeable as she.

Jean rolled her eyes at his words and rose again. »Yeah, and I still think you should make a move on Kurt soon.«

Peter scoffed and rose as well as he was done setting everything up. His eyes wandered over the dimly lit park and he could faintly see the dark blue smoke of Kurt flashing here and there as he was seemingly randomly teleporting away from Ororo in their game of tag. For someone who always demanded fairness when it came to games (mostly when they would play soccer) this was rather unfair. »Yes … No, not gonna happen, Jeanie.« He sighed. »Last time I made a move on him he freaked out and I almost lost him.«

»But what if Jubilee snatches him before you can act?«

»It's fine, Jean. Really. It's fine. As long as he is happy, everything’s fine.« Before Jean could say anything else, he stepped closer to the stone balustrade that was overlooking the park and called out for the other three to come and join them. It was almost midnight now and Peter, in all honesty, yearned for retreating to his bed. Keeping an eye on a bunch of drunken teens was quite exhausting, actually. Well, maybe he just wanted to escape the situation.

It didn't take long for the others to join him and Jean again on the balcony and it was Scott who then started counting down the last seconds until it turned midnight although it was almost not understandable so badly he was slurring his words by now. As their group erupted into cheers, Peter started the fireworks. As the first flash shot into the night sky and splashed a big red bloom into the black, Ororo tackled him into a hug and kissed his cheek. Peter laughed and mirrored her gesture only to erupt into laughter even more as he witnessed how Jean Grey grabbed Kurt and smooched him on the lips right in front of Scott whose bulging eyes almost fell out of his head.

It took around two more hours until his friends started to file out of the great room. Scott left to go to bed after he had been beaten by Ororo in a game of table tennis. Ororo left soon after, Jean only followed after the TV show she had wanted to watch ended, leaving Kurt and Peter behind. Kurt had been occupied by yelling at the TV in German for the last ten minutes as Peter grabbed the remote and shut off the TV. »Alright, Buddy.« Peter sighed and stepped closer towards Kurt, grabbing him under the arms to make him get up from his spot on the comfortable armchair. »When you start yelling at the TV it's time for you to go to bed. Hell, I can already imagine the hangover you will have tomorrow, Elf.«

With a bit of pulling he finally managed to get Kurt to stand but the boy’s knees started to buckle under his weight and so it was just a second before Kurt fell against Peter with a small little giggle. _Well, isn't that just great?_ In addition to everything else, now he needed to take care of a drunken German boy who had probably never been drunk before in his life. For a moment, he wondered if he should ask Kurt if he would just teleport them both to his room so that Peter could take care that the teen would end up in his bed and not on the roof or in the swimming pool, but then he reckoned that this would not be very wise. Who knew where they would end up if Kurt would teleport now.

With a sigh, he pulled Kurt's left arm around his shoulders and wrapped his own right arm around Kurt's waist. »Alright, just cooperate and we get you to your room in no time.« Running with Kurt would probably just cause him to throw up all over the place, so normal speed it was, but it soon proved to Peter that this trip to Kurt's room would take them quite some time. After the first steps towards the staircase, Kurt already stumbled three times over his not cooperating tail and once they had managed to get up into the boy’s dormitory, Kurt felt it was a great idea to retract his tight grip on Peter to try and flip his body into a handstand with bravado. Peter was a little impressed as Kurt managed to make a few steps on his hands despite his condition, but he soon paid for that idiotic behavior as he fell flat on his nose.

A part of him wished he would be a bit more drunk, as he scrambled to collect his friend from the carpet as Kurt declared that it was just the carpets fault that he fell with a small giggle leaving him while doing so. At least he was not an aggressive drunk. It would be probably much harder if he was. As soon as he had managed to get Kurt back to his feet, the boy immediately melted against him again, tugging slightly at Peter's shirt as they were now strolling down the hallway in a leisure pace. » _Du weißt_ , you're my best friend, _oder_?« Kurt suddenly exclaimed a little too loudly for Peter’s taste.

»I know Kurtie, I know.« He smirked as Kurt rubbed his stupid head against his shoulder like a cat. »You're my best friend too, Elf.« As long as he would have Kurt as his friend, it would be enough. At least that was what he told himself. It was easier this way even though he knew that it would hurt seeing Kurt getting together with someone else when the time would come. Then again, Peter had a limited attention span due to his power set and he lost interest in things quite quickly. Surely he would soon lose interest in Kurt and comes summer, he would have long forgotten that he had ever been in love with Kurt in the first place.

Kurt grinned blissfully as he leaned further into Peter. »I love you man« He said, his words slurring badly and Peter found himself petting his side slightly.

»I love you too, fuzzy Elf.« He replied with a bitter little grin. Kurt would not notice it anyway, he thought. He was much too drunk to notice anything. »So you and Ororo?« Peter changed the topic as quickly as possible as they came closer to Kurt’s door. »I think you guys fit together perfectly. So, yeah … Congratulations.«

They stopped at Kurt's door and Peter opened it for his poor friend, but as he wanted to let go of Kurt, thinking he would probably be fine from now on, he noticed how Kurt's fingers had curled into the fabric of his shirt and the teenager was unwilling to let go of him, his gaze lowered to the ground as if lost in thought. Was he falling asleep on him now? He would not put it past Kurt for sure. »Kurt? Everything alright?«

He realized only what had happened as he felt Kurt's lips press desperately against his and as Kurt's body pushed him against the open door vigorously, making the door slam against the wall and making Peter stumble in the process, with a strength he would not have thought possible. Out of instinct more than anything else, Peter put a hand on Kurt's neck to keep him almost selfishly close after he regained his balance, while a voice in his mind was already yelling at him that he should push Kurt away. He didn't though. He couldn't. Peter’s entire body was frozen solid and yet he answered Kurt's kiss with the same fever and the same urgency as he pushed his tongue past his lips and nearly nicked it on Kurt's sharp fangs.

As Kurt suddenly pulled away from him he was sure that the boy would run off in panic or maybe even yell at him, but instead, Kurt only took a deep breath, looking him straight in the eyes, before he attacked Peter once more, ravishing his mouth and decided it was wise to pull Peter further into his room, walking backwards. It came as it had been bound to come as Kurt stumbled over his tail and fell to the ground almost hitting his head and pulling Pete with him.

All of it happened so quickly that it was hard for Peter’s buzzed brain to follow, but as he did, he started to realize that, yes, they were lying on the ground in Kurt's room, close enough to the bed to let Kurt's intention shine through pretty clearly and yes, Kurt was wrapping his tail down Peter’s left leg affectionately while still clinging to him as if for dear life.

Peter had a hard time removing himself from Kurt and as he did he almost felt sorry, while his heart was aching. He should be glad that Kurt was kissing him like this, that he even seemed to want more, but his brain was still active enough to tell him that this was not right, that Kurt was drunk and didn't know what he was doing, that it would be wrong to use the situation for his own personal pleasure and so he forced himself to sit up straight first, before he scrambled back to his feet. Kurt was already trying to catch his left hand to pull him back down there, but Peter was adamant this time. »Kurt« He sighed as he tried once again to get him back to his feet. »Kurt, come on, buddy, I think it's time for you to go to bed.« This time Kurt followed, a mischievous little gleam in his yellow eyes as they made their way to the bed.

»Will you join me?« He asked, cocking one eyebrow as he flopped down on the bed. Hell, did this boy even had the slightest clue just how tempting that was and just how sexy he was looking as he lounged on his bed like this? His eyes never left Peter, his lips slightly parted and showing hints of his sharp teeth, his long legs outstretched almost completely and a bit of his flat stomach showing after his shirt had wandered up a bit.

»I don't think that's a good idea, Elf.« Peter declared as he pulled the blanket from under Kurt with a bit more effort now. Kurt did not really make this any easier as he wrapped his tail around Peter's wrist to pull him to the bed more.

» _Warum nich’_?« Kurt pouted and sat up straight a little. »I thought you liked me.« Oh hell no. His pout was even more awful to look at and withstand when he was drunk! His yellow eyes rested upon Peter almost accusatorily now, his bottom lip pushed forward and only slightly quivering at the prospect of being rejected.

With a small sigh, Peter sat down on the edge of the bed and placed one hand on his knee. »I do like you, Kurt. You know I do, you _forced_ me to tell you, remember? And that's exactly why I’m not joining you now.« It took a lot of effort on his part and yet he was already applauding himself for being so unwavering in the prospect of lying next to Kurt, being able to kiss him, to touch him, maybe even to sleep with him. He should get a medal.

»I don't get it.« Kurt sighed, his accent coming through much stronger now.

»Elf-« He straightened his back and shook his head. Now was not the time for nicknames. Now was the time for the hard truth as ugly as it might get. » _Kurt_ , listen. If I would get into bed with you now, I cannot promise you that I won’t do anything again - like on that roof, you know?«

»But I want you to do this again.«

»You are drunk, Kurt and I am buzzed myself. I cannot be trusted with you so close and I do not wish to scare or hurt you in any way. Just go to sleep, alright, and you’ll see, tomorrow you’ll be glad I didn't stay.« Kurt was a minor, that was what he had to keep reminding himself of despite everything and despite how much more grown up he was from their peers. He was a minor and would he stay and something would happen between them … Well, he would not be allowed to stay at this school for sure then. The darker part of his mind roared and another part of his brain wondered if he shouldn't risk it then. Maybe he should have his fun and get thrown out of this school, at least then he would not have to be around Kurt and be reminded of the one thing he wanted but could not get every day. As he found himself gently brushing the back of his fingers against Kurt's left cheek, Kurt wrapped his tail around Peter's leg even tighter.

»I trust you.« The boy said and sounded a lot more sober than before, almost even as if he had only been acting drunk. Of course, that was only Peter’s brain making up excuses now. »And I want you here. I want you to stay.« Suddenly he was a bit more awkward than usual as he sighed and drove a hand through his hair. »I thought about all of this, _weißt du_ ?« He murmured. »And ... _Ach_ , _ich_ … I like you, Pete… I really do. I want to be close to you.«

Still unable to get behind what the blue elf was telling him, Peter tilted his head to one side in the very same way he often saw Kurt doing. »But you and Ororo…«

»No, you got it all wrong, Peter!« He declared frowning as he grabbed Peter's shirt with his hands to tuck at it and pull him closer like this. Already Peter could smell what was so very much Kurt as they were so close again. It was the faint smell of sulfur mixed with cherry. And odd combination and yet one he didn't mind. This was Kurt and he liked it just as much as he liked the taste of his lips which Kurt licked now slightly as if he needed this to get back some courage. »I asked her what to do about my feelings for you, Pete.« He then all but blurted out joined by a small curse in German. »She told me to just confront you about it and then I didn't know how and then I got jealous because you and Jean and I got drunk and I-«

»Hey whoa there Elf! What about me and Jean?«

»Scott said you were _knutschen_ on the sofa as we weren't there. And I was so angry! I thought you loved me and then I realized that I have been much too certain of this and that I might have wasted my chance!« He trailed off again, his face all but desperate now as the evening started to fall into place for Peter now.

Kurt had asked Ororo about how he should deal with his feelings for Peter, Scott had seen Peter and Jean in the Great Room resurfacing from behind the backrest, Scott, blinded by his own jealousy, had told everyone that Jean and Peter had something going on, Kurt got even more drunk out of frustration and probably went to confront Ororo about this, which then led to the scene Peter had interrupted as Ororo had probably comforted Kurt and kissed his cheek. And now they were here. What a mess.

» _Hör mal_ , Peter … I can understand why you would go for Jean instead, you know? I didn't treat you like I should have, but I was so confused about my own feelings and all of this! I realize that she would be better suited for you. I mean, she's pretty and smart and she doesn't look like a demon, y’know? But still, I wanted to tell you-«

The only way to shut up Kurt and his rambling was to kiss him, Peter supposed and that was what he did as he pulled the stupid elf closer, his heart making a somersault in his own chest as he realized that Kurt tried to tell him that he loved him. Apparently, Kurt was just as uncertain of everything as Peter was and somehow that made him a lot more certain all of the sudden. Maybe it was the alcohol clouding his judgment of the situation or the fact that he dreamed of this and wanted Kurt so badly to love him too, but in this moment he didn't care much about it as he cupped his face and leaned in more, pushing Kurt back ever so slightly.

****

**-End of Chapter 8-**


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> Hör auf zu reden –  Stop talking  
> Bitte – Please  
> Nun mach schon – Just do it  
> Verdammt nochmal! – Goddamn it  
> Ich hoffe Sie hatten eine angenehme Fahrt – I hope you had a pleasant journey  
> Blödsinn - Bollocks

**April 1984 - Xavier’s School for gifted youngsters, Salem, New York State**

Peter came to a point in his life where he just could not take it any longer on this fateful day in April. »You look fine, Babe.« He sighed as he brushed a hand through his grey hair, sitting on the end of Kurt's bed, already completely dressed while his boyfriend was still turning in front of his large mirror, tugging on his black t-shirt and trying to figure out if he could go outside dressed as he was. Not that he would care much usually. Kurt mostly just threw on whatever he would find first in his closet, combined it with his favorite red jacket and would be good to go. Today was not a normal day, though and not only because it was Peter’s birthday. »You nervous?«

He did not need the glare Kurt shot him out of his yellow eyes as he turned around, still looking miserable in his clothes of choice, a simple pair of blue jeans and a black ACDC shirt which he had stolen from Peter’s dresser. »Of course I am! I'm meeting your mom! What if she doesn't like me?«

Peter wanted to laugh desperately, but he felt that this might not be the appropriate reaction to Kurt's little panic attack. It was not that he was not nervous as well, after all, he was not only going to celebrate his birthday with his mother, sister and new step dad, after his mother had made him an honorable man in January in one of her very spontaneous decisions, he was also going to introduce his boyfriend to them. Today would be the day he would tell his family that he was gay for a blue elf-boy. Fuck. Now that he thought about it like this, he was starting to feel twitchy himself and thus stood in one swift motion to grab Kurt's shoulders firmly and turn him towards him and away from the mirror.

»What's not to like?« He smirked and leaned down for a kiss, although he paid for his bravery as Kurt gently bit his lower lip in disapproval. »You look gorgeous, you fuzzy little furball. She will love you and my sister - Oh, I'd better warn you immediately, right? She will try and dig her claws into you when she sees you, don't get fooled by her innocent looks. I have no problem fighting over you with my little sister. I'm stronger, after all.« This, finally, made Kurt laugh a little and got him to fiddle on Peter's new jacket - a present from his newly acquired blue boyfriend. Of course, Peter had already shown the jacket off to their friends, telling everyone and their mom who gave it to him. Surely, Kurt had saved his allowances since January to get to buy this jacket. Then again, the Professor probably gave him a little extra. 

»Aren't you scared how your mother will react to me?« He caught himself and fidgeted with the zipper of Peter’s jacket now instead. »To  _ us _ ? I know _ I _ would be terrified to tell my family,  _ weißt du _ ? It's not like my family would have been very uptight when it came to sex in all shapes or forms …  _ Ach _ , we even had a transvestite in the circus with us and it was cool! Still … I would be afraid to tell Mama. I mean … it's always something different if it's happening in the own family, right?« Peter made a small grimace and that seemingly made Kurt catch on to what he had been saying and that his words could be very counterproductive now. Before he could recoil and start flailing like a fish sputtering apologies, Peter silenced him with another kiss. This time he was not bitten.

»Don't worry too much about it, Blueberry. I know my mom. Well … Yes, she is a narcissist and beyond self-centered, but all in all, she is my mother and she loves me despite everything. You’ll see, my mom is cool.« Yet, minutes later, as they were driving through the iron gate of Xavier’s School for gifted youngsters, he felt his fingers tightening around the steering wheel and getting increasingly sweatier. 

»You were quite restless last night.« Kurt addressed him later, as they were making their way out of Salem. He had been remarkably quiet until now, but he seemed to need an outlet for his own nervousness now too. 

»Yeah…« He sighed and grabbed the steering wheel a little harder before casting a small glance and a smirk at Kurt. Kurt was quite the heavy sleeper despite what he liked to claim and usual he was dead to the world as soon as he would have fallen asleep, but last night Peter had been tossing and turning in the way too narrow bed so much that it was not a big surprise that Kurt had noticed it. »I had a little nightmare again.«

»I noticed.« He scoffed. »About what?« He wouldn't be Kurt Wagner would he not ask, Peter guessed and he was even glad that his boyfriend found that much interest in an old man like him to worry so much about his well being. 

»About life before all of this, you know?« Again a small glance to Kurt told him that he was intensely listening to what Peter had to say. Kurt sat leaned against the passenger’s door, his head resting against the glass, but his eyes remained fixed on Peter. »About how miserable everything was. Suddenly, I was back in the same everyday routine. Suddenly, I was back in the basement of my mother’s house again. Suddenly, there was nothing left for me to really live for, nothing happened. I was trapped in this basement and couldn't get out.« 

Being locked up in some form of prison or cage, not being able to escape whatever was binding them, that was a fear he and Kurt both shared and Peter was aware of the nightmares Kurt still had himself. Nightmares of the cage, nightmares of the underground fighting ring, nightmares of the abuse he had suffered in his past that was not limited by the experience in Berlin. His own worries and fears seemed small in comparison, yet, Peter was aware that Kurt would never tell him that he would not have the right to feel the way he did about his own quite sheltered past. 

»You used to get those a lot in the past, right?« Kurt carefully probed as he moved his body so he could rest his back against the backrest, one hand sneakily making its way towards Peter's right hand that was now resting on the stick only to come to a rest on top of Peter's hand.

»All the time, actually.« He confessed and then, with a faint grin he added: »The only times I didn't get them was when we shared a room.« And now when they shared a bed, of course. Something inside of Kurt grounded him, even when they were both asleep. It was odd and he couldn't name it, but it had been like this between them even before they had gotten together and now the calming effect Kurt had on him only got stronger and stronger each day.

At first, Peter had been afraid that Kurt would change his mind about him after sobering up or at the latest when the time came to tell their friends and be open about their relationship, but he had never questioned it, apparently. Well, by now Peter knew a bit more about how it even got to the point that Kurt decided that he had fallen for Peter too. Apparently, Kurt had talked to the Professor and asked him for advice first before everything had escalated on the New Year’s party. Peter had not really wanted to confront Kurt too much about his feelings ever since, maybe even because he was still afraid that he would change his mind. Maybe he would do so, as soon as he would meet Peter’s family today. 

The traffic was quiet this early in the day and so it was barely noon when they arrived at the street his family lived in. Peter had not even driven faster than necessary, mainly because he was dreading the confrontation. Despite what he had told Kurt, the fear of rejection remained. Maybe it would be different, would the news be not full with reportings over the Aids epidemic or wouldn't there be movies that portrayed people like them in such a bad way. They were either the weird drags or the effeminate freaks or the villains - never just normal guys who happened to like other men and did not act like predators towards their fellow men to get the crap beaten out of them for doing so. 

This country, as progressive as it liked to portray itself as was prude and backwards on so many levels still. Sometimes it felt beyond ridiculous to know that they were living in the 1980’s when there were still people out there ready to hunt people like them down with pitchforks and torches.  _ The human race always finds a reason to hate their neighbors for the slightest difference, that's just how they are _ , the Professor had once told him. Of course, Kurt was not the only one who came to the Professor to talk about their worries.

The street was as quiet as mostly. It was a quiet Saturday this 11th of April. A few children were playing on the street. As Peter slowed down, he saw a group of girls playing with a skipping rope and a whole bunch of boys were shooting past the car on their bikes, startling Kurt good after he had slumped against the window again. Peter stopped right in front of the house on the side of the street and with the distinct rattling sound, he pulled the handbrake before turning off the engine. He did not do much for a whole long moment and just stared at the house just like Kurt did too.

Tom's car parked in the driveway, his mother's stood in the garage. They didn't need two cars, his mother had once said, but Tom had told her that they should keep it for Wanda. Soon she would start driving and it would be nice for her to have a car then. Peter couldn't help but feel a little jealous of his sister despite knowing how stupid it was. But Wanda seemed to get to experience having a father figure. His mother, for once, seemed to have made a good choice with Tom. »You ready?« He asked directed at Kurt while still not peeling his eyes away from the house.

He could see movement behind the curtain of the kitchen window and then a pale face appearing behind the glass. His mother, unmistakably. He waved at her curtly as he unfastened his seatbelt. »Shouldn't I use the image inducer?« Kurt asked quietly as he fumbled on the device that he had been oh so adamant to bring with him. Peter, however gently grabbed the wrist the device was attached to.

»Not if you don't want to.« He stated calmly. »I meant what I said before. I want to introduce you as you are. I love you as you are. There is no reason to hide yourself.« Kurt nodded and unfastened his seatbelt quickly, wanting to get out before he would lose his courage, but Peter caught him before he could escape. He quickly glanced at the window, but his mother was gone already and so he used the opportunity to steal one last quick kiss from Kurt before they both got out of the car. »Prepare yourself for my mother telling you all about Avon cosmetics.« He joked as he threw the car door shut and slowly walked up to the front door with Kurt.

Of course, Peter had told his mother he would bring his best friend and he had prepared her beforehand that Kurt did not look like everyone else. He had even gone as far as to beg her through the telephone not to stare at him or make stupid comments. Sadly, and not very surprisingly, that did not keep his mother from staring at Kurt with her mouth hanging wide open after they entered the house and met her in the adjacent hallway. At least she was quick to pull her only son into a tight hug after Peter had coughed to remind her of his presence. 

»There he is, my birthday boy!« His mother then hummed as she squeezed him as hard as she could and Peter felt like it was the first time in years she did so. Maybe because now she had a reason to be proud of him. After all, he was living his own life now. He had a purpose now. He was achieving things and not only beating level 100 in his latest NES game. Then again, Kurt had been very proud of him as he had managed to do that. As she let go of him, her eyes immediately fell back on Kurt again who awkwardly extended his right hand to her, his eyes looking everywhere just not at her so nervous was he. Kurt, after all, was really not the shy type. Before he could stutter a greeting, his mother had already pulled him into a hug too - though a briefer one. »And you must be Peter's friend Kurt. Oh, he told me all about you. You are from Germany, right?  _ Ich hoffe Sie hatten eine angenehme Fahrt. _ Oh, I'm so sorry, my German is a little rusty and I don't speak much German anyway!« She laughed though both young men watched her with huge eyes. »You know, Peter's father was from Germany, originally, he taught me one or two sentences back in the day and I always had a thing for languages. Oh well, look at me, babbling away! Surely you want to come inside first and sit down for a moment.« 

Suddenly, his mother was the embodiment of a Stepford Wife! He almost couldn't recognize her! And since when did she know German? 

In a matter of seconds, he and Kurt were sitting down in the living room that was unusually tidy and did not fit the description that he had offered to Kurt before. No empty beer bottles lying strewn all over the carpet, no full ashtrays stinking up the place. He saw how his boyfriend was looking around the room with huge eyes as if he desperately tried to take it all in. It took Peter a moment to realize that it was probably the first time that Kurt got to see a  _ normal  _ American house or any house for that matter. Until now he had only seen the mansion, after all. He was tempted to get up and show their family photos to him, but then he thought that it would look odd would his mother run in on them while doing so. For all she knew, they were friends and it was not all that common for friends, especially boys, to show baby pics to each other. 

They were not alone for long anyway. His sister was the first to come into the living room to greet her brother almost as affectionately as their mother. Moments like this reminded Peter of how he used to sit in front of the TV with his little sister cuddling up to him or how often Wanda had crept into his bed at night because something was scaring her in her own room or because of some nightmare - or because of their mother. She was fifteen now and she would not get scared so easily anymore. Needless to say, Wanda was smitten by Kurt right as she laid eyes on him the first time. Well, apparently the fondness of blue elfish German guys ran in their family. That Kurt greeted her with a kiss on the back of her hand did not exactly help either. Sadly, Kurt could be quite the Prince Charming if he wanted to. That was probably his trick in the Institute as well, now that Peter came to think about it.

It did not take Wanda long to squeeze onto the sofa next to Kurt so that the elf was from then on sandwiched between the two Maximoff siblings, while their mother was chatting away serving cake and coffee. Only Tom was a little taken aback as he came into the living room and saw Kurt for the first time. Kurt, however, only smiled sheepishly at the man and Tom seemingly quickly overcame his initial surprise and sat down in the armchair closest to the rabbit ear television while their mother was getting comfortable on a chair she had brought from the kitchen into the room. His mother had always been great in making small talk and so was Tom. For the first time in years, Peter felt relaxed and at ease in this house under circumstances like this. He was happily devouring his birthday cake. He did not care so much for presents, still, his mother had gotten him a new Walkman and his sister had bought him a new comic book she had thought he might like. 

He felt at home, oddly enough. It only took twenty-four years, but he felt at home and he could not even tell why that was. Was it because his mother finally seemed to have changed her ways thanks to Tom? Was it because of Tom who did his best to act like a decent father figure for Wanda and a friend for Peter? Or was it because of Kurt sitting next to him?

»So, Kurt« Tom chimed in as he got the opportunity because Wanda was chewing on a piece of cake. »You’re from Germany, huh? Your English is very good, if I dare to say so. Since when are you in the States?«

Peter had felt the uncertainty of his friend radiating from him as soon as they had sat down in this living room and all the more since Tom joined them, but now he seemed at ease. Hopefully, he was feeling welcome. »I came here last year …  _ ähm  _ … in May. And I joined the school shortly after.«

»Do you like it here better than in Germany?« Wanda was quick to interrupt and for a moment, Peter had the feeling as if they were looking at Kurt like some sort of exotic pet that everyone was eager to talk to, forgetting all about Pietro. He didn't care so much though. Kurt, however, turned a bit purple under all this attention.

»It's very different.« Was his diplomatic approach that drew a little laugh from Wanda and Tom. Their mother, however, furrowed her brows as she looked at him now in something that could almost be described as concern.

»And what about your parents, Honey? Surely you have a family? Are they still in Germany? Don't they worry about you?« Ouch. His mother had always been good in unintentionally finding someone's weak spot or rubbing salt into open wounds. But Kurt was a trooper and his expression never faltered. 

»I don't know my biological parents.« He admitted with a small, uncertain smile. »I was raised by my foster mother Margali Szardos-«

»Is it true you grew up in a circus?« Wanda immediately implored and Kurt even flinched as she leaned closer towards him as if she felt the need to study him up close. Apparently, Wanda had noticed that too, because she leaned back again. »I mean … Pietro said something like this…«

Kurt scratched at his neck but then beamed with confidence again. After all, he was not exactly ashamed of the fact that he had been raised in a circus, more a little overwhelmed that Peter had apparently talked about him to his sister. »Yes.« He then grinned. »At the circus, I was known as  _ the Incredible Nightcrawler _ , actually. I was an acrobat and trapeze artist mainly. And yes« He turned to Peter's mother again. »they are still in Germany. Well, at least I assume they are. I have lost contact since I came to the US.« Before Peter's mother could ask why that was, Kurt was quick to continue as if sensing the question that was about to come. »I don't think they will be too worried for me, though. I can look after myself.« Peter knew of course, that Kurt was concerned because of the lack of response he got from home. He was sending out letters regularly to every PO-box address he knew of. 

»So, I've got to tell you something.« Peter finally erupted before his mother could make Kurt any more uncomfortable. He had thought about how he wanted to tell them, but he doubted that there was a right way to do this so he might as well just blurt it out like he was so prone to. 

»Don't tell me you're dropping out again, Pietro.« His mother warned him and although there was a playful tone to her voice, her eyes were deadly serious. Peter just smirked at this.

»No, don't worry, Mom. I'm going to get my diploma and then I will probably even take a few courses at the NYU, calm down. Jeez, you almost act as if I have done anything to make you believe I would do something as stupid as this.« He joked and saw his mother leaning back again. He felt Kurt's gaze upon him and as he met his eyes he saw how nervous Kurt himself was too. »Either way, Kurt wouldn't let me drop out anyway, he actually has quite the good influence on me.« He wouldn't lie, coming out to his family really was the hardest thing ever and he didn't know how to say it. »Okay, listen-«

»Now you're starting to scare us, Pete.« Wanda sighed. »Just spit it out already.« 

He sighed and ruffled his hair before sitting up straight again. »Okay. Okay, good. You're, right, Wanda. So … I don't think that there is a right way to do this and if I don't say it now, I might never say it. The truth is, Kurt is not my best friend. Well, not just that-«

»What are you saying?« His mother interrupted him impatiently, her eyebrows raised ever so slightly and her voice almost a little too inquisitive. 

»I'm saying he is my boyfriend.«

Silence hit the room like a bolt of lightning and spread out over the house like a blanket. Peter could see in slow motion how his mother’s expression fell from inquisitive but playful to one of utter shock and something that was reminiscent of the disgust she would portray when facing a cockroach in her kitchen. He heard the shocked gasp from his sister next to Kurt and saw how Tom’s eyes bulged out of their sockets - all in a matter of half a heartbeat until time started running again like it should. 

The spell was broken as his mother’s cup of coffee shattered on the carpet. She did not demand from him to say that he was joking. She knew full well that he was serious. »What?« She breathed nonetheless.

»Peter … Are you gay?« His sister suddenly took his attention, her face pale and her face a mask of utter confusion and horror as the next thought entered her mind. »Like the men on TV?« The men on TV … the sick men, the freaks, the disgusting people parents would warn their children about. »And you too Kurt?«

Before Kurt could struggle to answer, Peter grabbed his hand hard and for everyone to clearly see it. »Yes.« He said as firmly as possible, drawing in a deep breath. »Yes, I am gay. I love Kurt and I wanted you all to know that and to meet him and-«

He heard the smack before he felt it, but his mother’s hand hit his cheek so hard that his head almost flew off his shoulders.

It was raining quite heavily as they were driving home and the large drops of rain were hitting hard against the window as if wanting to burst through it. The atmosphere was strained and awkward. For once, Peter had no idea how to lighten the mood. He just sat behind the wheel and maneuvered the car over wet asphalt into Salem. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw how slumped Kurt sat in the passenger's seat, his feet on the seat, his knees raised to his chest and his arms wound around them, while his tail had curled itself protectively around Kurt's slim waist. He was the embodiment of guilt. 

»It's not your fault.« Peter found himself murmuring lowly and was not even sure if Kurt was able to hear him over the music coming from the radio. Kurt murmured something in response but he couldn't quite catch it. »It's not.« He repeated a little more sternly. »It's not your fault.« It wasn't. They both knew that it wasn't Kurt's fault - though Kurt liked to beat himself up now. »She would have reacted like this regardless. Hell, I should have known, shouldn't I? I mean … I grew up with her! I should have known. God, I feel so stupid.«

Before Kurt could say anything, Peter raised his hand to shut him up. »Let's … Let's just forget about this, okay?« He felt Kurt's eyes resting on his face again and was sure that they would look hurt, would he make the mistake of meeting them now, so he didn't. Still, Kurt kept quiet for the rest of the way and even until they were both in Peter's room. 

»You said it was not my fault - but your mother outright said that it was.« Kurt finally broke the silence again as he sat down on Peter’s bed, not willing to let him alone now after what had occurred at Peter’s family home. The shock was still very much in the forefront of everything. 

»My mother is a mean, self-centered bitch, Kurt. She was like this my whole life but I was foolish enough to believe she has changed! Hell, I wanted to believe that she has changed and that it was only the alcohol that has poisoned her as I grew up there. Last time I was home everything looked so promising, you know?« He sighed for the millionth time this day before sitting down on the windowsill opposite of Kurt and his bed, the horrible insults his mother had thrown after them were still ringing in his ears. »I'm sorry you had to experience something like this. I shouldn't have dragged you into this whole situation. I should have known she would attack you like this. Listen, Kurt, if you don't want to continue this, our relationship, after today’s debacle, I really understand. I mean, yes, our friends have been supportive until now, but now you have seen firsthand how it can be… I would understand it if you don't want to take this any further, really.«

»You know what?« Peter braced himself for the moment Kurt would end their relationship as he grew aware of the harsh tone Kurt was using to address him now. »I'm growing tired of you  _ understanding  _ me and of you trying to make me end our relationship. No, I don't want to end this, except if  _ you  _ want to. Stop acting as if you forced me into this. You haven't. I decided that I wanted this and I still do! But yes, I feel guilty.  _ Verdammt nochmal. _ Your mother made it pretty damn clear that she thought I was to blame and somehow I wasn't even surprised. But still, I love you and this doesn't change anything. I was aware before today that the reaction from other people might not be positive. I'm not  _ that  _ naive.« Kurt rose from his spot and closed the distance between them as he grabbed Peter’s hands and gently squeezed them. »I'm sorry your mother reacted like this. I’m sorry, Pietro. You don't deserve this kind of treatment.«

Usually, it took a lot for Peter to break down, but now it only took Kurt's warm hands around his own and his sincere words to make him shed tears he had not even known he was trying to hide as he leaned forward and rested his head against Kurt's chest. He was angry. For the most part, he was angry, but inside of him too was the child that had always wanted his mother's approval and love that now started crumbling down piece by piece. And then there was the realization that his mother would never change her ways. She might get better at acting, but she would never change. That realization was the straw that broke the camel's back as he closed his arms around Kurt's waist now and squeezed him hard as he was sobbing into his shirt like a child.

For this moment, as he cried and as Kurt quietly brushed his long fingers through Peter's grey hair, there was no one else in the whole wide world. Only the two of them and the feeling of being home that was still lingering. At least now he knew that it had not been his mother and her change in attitude or Tom or his sister or even the tidy house, it had been Kurt putting him at ease inside this house and giving him the courage to do what he had to do. 

The night had already captured the Institute and swallowed it whole as Kurt slowly walked out of Peter's bathroom and toweled his hair dry as he walked towards the bed only dressed in a pair of boxer shorts. Peter had a bad influence on him apparently, then again it was April and warm enough even for someone like Kurt to sleep oh so scantily clothed. He was covered in fur, after all. Peter felt exhausted as Kurt crawled into his bed to cuddle up to his side as he liked to do every night ever since they started dating - or rather entered a relationship. The day had been one big exhausting mess and his mother's screams and insults were still ringing in his ears, despite everything his friends had done for him to cheer him up. Within just an hour they had set up a nice dinner for him. Granted, it had been a dinner consisting of greasy pizza from a nice Italian restaurant down in the town of Salem, but it was the intent that mattered, really. They hadn't expected them home for dinner, as Jean had told him, but of course it had told their friends a lot as they had seen them coming back so early in the day. Maybe Jean had snooped around in their heads too, who knew! Peter, most certainly, did not care.

»You know« He started quietly as he closed his left arm around Kurt and pulled him closer. They were together for four months now and until now not much had happened between them, despite kissing and fooling around and Peter was okay with this, oddly enough. He was a man, after all, but Kurt was still a teenager and somehow he felt weird going further with him as long as he was still a minor. He was aware that they - well, him for the most part - were walking a very thin line with their relationship. »As harrowing as the day was … at least it showed me who my true family is, right?« 

Maybe this was unfair. Maybe he was not doing his family justice. Maybe Wanda would get their mother to calm down. Maybe Tom would get her to reconcile with her son. Then again, his mother had made it pretty clear to him that he was the greatest disappointment in her entire life, even worse than all her previous husbands or boyfriends. Being gay was the biggest offense he had ever committed against her as it seemed now.

»She will calm down.« Kurt quietly promised and pressed a small kiss to the corner of his mouth. Of course, Peter could sense that Kurt did not believe this either. If anything, Kurt was still blaming himself. Sure enough, his mother had done her very best to make sure that he would indeed blame himself as she had vented out her anger not only on her son but Kurt as well. 

»No, she won't.« Peter huffed and started to rub little circles into the soft skin and fur of Kurt’s back. In the beginning, he had found it odd that Kurt was covered in fur, but now he thought that it was hardly different than the hairs on his own body. At least he was not shedding. »And you know what? I can live with that. It's not like she has ever been a real motherly figure to me anyway, right? She was never really there for me or Wanda and only had her own interests at heart. At least now I know and don't have to make any excuses for her anymore.« It was true that he had not expected her to lash out like this and the slap he had received had burned stronger than it ever had. He even wondered what she would have done hadn't Wanda and Tom be around. Well, what was done was done, he guessed and now there was really no way of going back. And somehow, despite everything, Peter was okay with never going back again. He had burned his bridges, but he knew that he would never lose his sister. Wanda would come to him sooner or later and that was all that mattered in the end. 

»I have something else for you.« Kurt finally spoke again, his voice nothing but a tickling little hum against Peter’s exposed skin. »But I don't know … I mean … After what happened today … Maybe it's not the right time…«

»Out with it.« He smirked, but though he had tried before with their friends to be his usual playful self, Kurt was looking right through this facade, still he sneaked his hand deeper down under the blanket to rest it against Kurt's bum and listened to his content little hum as he did so. Luckily for him, Kurt was not at all opposed to touching or being touched - quite the contrary. If anything, Kurt was just as touchy as Peter was and by now he even enjoyed the feeling of Kurt's tail wrapping itself affectionately around his leg when they would lie in bed like this. He did not want Kurt to get too comfortable though and so he pinched him with a little chuckle as Kurt jumped in surprise.

»Maybe you don't deserve what I want to give to you after all!« Kurt mocked as he bit his chest, but then - maybe before he could rethink his actions - Kurt climbed on top of Peter and straddled his hips with his beautiful long legs. That he was sitting on Peter's crotch, only separated by the thin layers of fabric of their boxer shorts, did not really help Peter’s libido. As if he would know this, Kurt suddenly rocked forward a bit, putting even more friction and weight on Peter's crotch like the little devil he was and drawing a surprised little hiss from Peter. It only slowly dawned on Peter that this was exactly what Kurt tried to provoke. Needless to say that it worked, after all, Peter was just a guy and had needs too. His stupid cock was already twitching just thinking about the possibility of sex. Sadly, his brain was active enough to intervene.

»What are you doing?« He smirked as he grabbed onto Kurt's hips to hold him still for a moment.

»Am I that untalented that you can't figure it out?« Kurt grinned sheepishly, raising one eyebrow just slightly.

Still, Pete kept holding onto Kurt firmly, his brain still refusing to let this go any further now. »I thought you wanted to give me something?«

»Yeah…« Kurt breathed quietly and it appeared as if he needed to scoop p a bit of courage to continue, » _ me _ , actually.«

»But, Kurt…« He was cut off before he could even begin arguing with him.

»No, I really mean it. We are together for four months now and you never made a move… I figured you didn't want to because I am not eighteen yet, but if I'm wrong and if you just don't want to sleep with me... I mean … It's okay, I guess…« It was almost too cute how he was trailing off and Peter couldn't help but to pull him down for a kiss. 

»I do want it, but I think we should wait until you’re eighteen…«

Kurt rolled his eyes and pinched his nose.  _ »Blödsinn _ . As if hitting eighteen would make me a different person. You Americans are such prudes!« He then mocked him a little as he was gently driving down Peter's sides with his fingertips. »I don't want to wait anymore. I’m going crazy!« It did not need a genius to understand what Kurt meant. He was still a teenager and his hormones running wild. Had it been hard for Peter to hold back, how hard had it been for Kurt? The realization almost made him laugh. 

He had waited a long time for something like this, much too long for his limited attention span, impatient ass and ADHD to cope with. He had thought about how to do it, had researched on how to do this, although he was sure that his body would tell him everything he needed to know, honestly, but now everything happened quite differently than he had first expected. Kurt was many things but surely not some insecure shy teenage boy that would just lie still and let it happen and somehow Peter thought he should have expected as much from Kurt Wagner. He had already learned that Kurt could be much more demanding and shameless than anyone would even think of that well-behaved young Jesus loving lad. 

As he pulled Kurt towards him for yet another kiss, it was much more feverish than before and Peter decided to let himself get consumed by the kiss entirely. After a day like this, he did not feel much like fighting anymore. In truth, all he wanted now was Kurt, his lips, his hands, his body. He was aching as the kiss broke apart again and wanted to protest, but already Kurt was kissing his neck and wandering down on him as if they had done this a million times before. It seemed as if Kurt wanted to spend ages worshipping the sculpture that was Peter's body, while his impatience was yet very obvious to the speedster. He would have never expected Kurt to spend his time descending down his body with wet lips and a curious tongue, while eager hands were tracing the arch of his pec and ribs on his way down to the solid ridge of his abdominal muscles. 

He was more muscular than Kurt, broader than the acrobat, but that didn’t mean Kurt had anything to hide. For just one moment, Peter thought that the elf probably didn’t even know how stunningly beautiful he was to him or how ever so gracefully his body was behaving when he moved. He didn’t know why Kurt was doing what he did now – and maybe it would be better not to ponder about it – but he didn’t stop Kurt either when he sunk to the mattress between Peter's legs, before his tail did the job of freeing Peter from his boxers and throwing them away carelessly. 

As Kurt was pressing sloppy kisses to the silken flesh of Peter's inner thigh, he could not help but produce a low moan, but still, Peter could feel that Kurt was buying time. Perhaps he wanted to prove something to Peter – only that Peter would have none of this as he buried his fingers harshly in Kurt's hair and ripped at his head to get him up again. Before Kurt could even protest, he was buried underneath Peter. Frustration and confusion were both very visibly on Kurt's face and Peter could hardly hide the grin creeping up on him. He had not expected Kurt to take on the lead like he did, but to Peter, it was also clear that he was not too sure about what he should do. 

Kurt furrowed his brows, as Peter grabbed his jaw a little harder than usual, but then he moaned in shock, as Peter brought his groin down against Kurt's own, still hidden safely in his shorts. Nevertheless, he could feel Kurt's cock digging into his stomach. He found Kurt's hands on his back in a matter of seconds again and Peter chuckled lowly. »Impatient, aren't we?« He teased as he was hovering above him, not willing to do much and just teasing his boyfriend while his heart was pounding in his chest in excitement. »You don't need to rush anything.« Peter finally got a little more serious as he leaned in closer and brushed his fingers over Kurt's cheek after giving his jaw free again. 

»I don't rush anything…« Kurt claimed as calm as he possibly could as he was trying to breathe evenly - to no avail. 

»Yes, you are.« Somehow everything they did ended up being a discussion, but still, it did not ruin his mood as he decided to ravish Kurt's mouth once again, keeping his face steady with one hand, while he was raising his own body just enough so that he could pull down Kurt’s shorts with his free hand. Kurt's tail was quite helpful in this regard. It was not as if they had never explored each other's bodies before, but there was a difference in fooling around and having sex.

»Yes, I am.« Kurt chuckled quietly against Peter's lips as they broke apart just for a second before continuing where they left off. At least for a moment, everything seemed to calm down again as Kurt closed his arms around Peter's neck, relaxing into the mattress. It was only then that Peter truly understood just how anxious Kurt had been before as the stress seemed to leave his body now. Kurt's eyes were clouded with lust as they broke apart once more to give him the opportunity to gasp for air as Peter was closing his hand around their cocks, giving them a  few reassuring tugs, only to show Kurt that there was no turning back now anymore.

He did not want to think any more about the day, he did not want to think about his mother or the rejection he had suffered. He wanted to focus on Kurt and this situation now. That was all that really mattered and as Kurt moaned in sudden pleasure, rocking his hips slightly upwards to meet Peter, the events of the day started to shift out of focus and allowed him to act as if it had not happened at all.

Peter's left hand was already slick with precum as he moved his right hand gently over Kurt's left thigh. Kurt moaned louder as Peter started to scrape with his nails over the sensitive skin to tease him a little more. Peter grabbed his leg fiercer and moved it up, laying it with skilled ease atop his own shoulder, only so he could bite down hard on the tender skin and found with much delight that this made Kurt gasp in surprise and pleasure at the same time. 

There was nothing for him to use as lube, they were in a school after all and he had not exactly expected this to happen tonight. They had not talked about who would be on top either, but since Kurt was not arguing now, he seemed to be okay with the situation. 

»Suck« He ordered Kurt with a mischievous grin tugging on his lips as he rubbed his index finger over Kurt’s lower lip teasingly. Kurt's lips were open just slightly, just enough to make Peter’s mind wander yet again, but at least he seemed to understand as Peter dipped the first joint of his finger in between his lips. Peter had a hard time stifling his own moan, when he felt Kurt's tongue eagerly moving around his finger, taking care to wet them as thoroughly as possible. He was not dumb, he probably knew what was coming and that he would only regret it if he would not do as Peter said.

When he took the fingers from him, Kurt was huffing with a sting of impatience. The boy was an enigma to Peter – at least that he could say with confidence. At times, Kurt was the embodiment of being an innocent little angel and then he had moments like this when he was gladly participating in the most sinful acts with pleasure. At least, Peter was patient in his current state of arousal and lust, and Kurt moaned even heavier, when Peter breached him with one slick finger, then with the second as if it was nothing, melting away the lingering tensions slowly and thoroughly. Kurt trusted him and he would not dare to hurt this trust in any way. When Peter shoved the third finger in, Kurt's nails were grabbing for support at the bedsheet, breathing hard and Peter – grinning – drove his tongue over the leg he still had at his mercy, while he continued working him up with skilled ease until Kurt was a twitching and bucking mess underneath him, before he had even taken him.

Peter did his very best not to think too much about the fact that this was a first for them both as he grabbed the both of them again by the base of their shafts and started milking their cocks with a deft twist of his wrist. Peter slowed down the steady thrusts of his fingers, easing them completely inside and enjoying the tight heat around them and gently stroking over the swell of Kurt's prostate. Kurt's moans turned immediately into short gasps, shocked about the pleasure his body was able to feel, for he never experienced it before. Kurt would lose it before he could even grasp the sensation and so Peter took the fingers from him with a soft chuckle.

Just as he had no lube at hand, he had no condom either, but Peter's shaft was already slick with precum, as he let go of Kurt's previously captured blue extremity and sunk deeper between his long thin legs only to press his crotch up against Kurt body and drew the swollen head of his own erection along the intriguing curve of Kurt's ass until it caught on the now slippery puckered skin. He already knew it would be a tight fit, but now it was too late to stop anyway. He could no longer suppress the overwhelming urge to fuck him after months of teasing and waiting and worrying - and Kurt seemed all too eager too as he moved to meet him. »You ready?« He asked, his voice a dark and husky promise of the upcoming pleasure he was adamant to deliver as he dragged Kurt’s hip upwards again him, spreading his legs wide in one swift move, but he only got a breathy whine in response and a wild and impatient buck as Kurt grind forward and against his slicked cock, spreading his long legs wider, now that Peter was between them anyway.

» _ Nun mach schon! _ « Came the almost furious response from his highly impatient German boyfriend.

However, no matter his oh so very impatient and desperate words, Kurt tensed a little as Peter's cock slid across his hole. Peter reached down to hold himself in place, before pushing against the unyielding tightness of Kurt's body and Kurt only gritted his teeth at the sudden pain as Peter finally entered him, finally claiming him as his. A gruff moan was ripping through Peter's body when he finally was deeply sheathed inside the athletic body and stopped for a moment to give him time to adjust to this new sensation. Peter knew that it was quite a bit to take for Kurt, but then the teen surprised him all the more, when he clasped his legs again around Peter's waist to get him closer, aimlessly searching for his mouth – if only to suppress and quiet his pleasured moans so that no one in the rooms around them would hear them.

Peter grinned wider as he gave into the demands of Kurt, though he could hardly hold himself any longer, now that he was buried in the constricting warmth that was Kurt's body. His mouth was hot as lava as they kissed again and Peter could feel how Kurt's tail wrapped itself around Peter's right leg like a snake. »You alright?« He managed to breathe out as they parted just slightly.

Kurt growled, but bucked his hips again, making even Peter flinch in surprise.  _ That's a yes, I suppose. _ Kurt was probably far too dazed already to see the wide grin on Peter's face now anymore. »Well, if you insist.« He chuckled, before he grabbed Kurt's hands once again over the boy’s head, enjoying having him at his mercy and his arms in a tight and rough grip, knowing that his own hands would leave bruises on the beautiful body. Suddenly he was filled with the desire to leave marks on him in all the ways possible to show the world that he was his.

Kurt's body was taut as a bowstring, while Peter rocked his hips forwards and fucked into the waiting body. He wanted to make Kurt forget everything bad that had happened this day and forget as well in the process. A yelp of shock was tearing from Kurt's throat as he hit his prostate again but this time with much more strength than before. His eyes were rolling back and falling close as Peter sent waves of thickened pleasure flooding through his body, making him forget the sharp snaps of pain.

»Do not hold back.« Peter growled biting down on Kurt's beautiful throat now all the more bared at him when the boy arched his spine upwards. He could feel his pulse going berserk, before Peter's thrusts crushed even harder into his body as if he owned it. Kurt's deep and throaty moans were now even louder than the wet slaps Peter produced slamming down into the inexperienced body, but it seemed he had a hard time even forming coherent sentences any longer now - let alone in English. Kurt seemed to have lost all care of whether their neighbors would hear them or not all of the sudden.

Then he at least managed somewhat like a response, coming from his swollen lips. »Harder…« He demanded pantingly, his golden eyes finally locking with Peter's, almost driving him into insanity with their burning glow. » _ Bitte _ «

Oh, he loved how wanton he sounded – and he loved to know that he was the only one to hear him like this. He was, after all, wasn’t he? »You have no clue how long I wanted to do this.« He growled when he slammed into him harder and simultaneously grabbing Kurt's cock with his free hand again to stroke him in tune with his thrusts. 

»Did I stutter?« Kurt suddenly erupted, his tail almost squeezing Peter's leg now and his head slamming back in frustration for not being able to do much. » _ Hör auf zu reden! _ «. 

He almost laughed breathlessly, before he grabbed him harder, stroking the aggression out of his body. It was almost impossible not to love this little demon when he was talking like this. But now Peter only wanted to fuck this boldness out of him, feeling Kurt clenching underneath him, aimlessly thrusting into Peter's eager hand. He wanted to urge him to slow down, but Peter himself did not want to slow down at all. And then finally Kurt's whole body was spasming in the sudden jolt of relief, his toes curling behind Peter's back and his spine again arching upwards.

It was this sight and the clenching of Kurt's body around him that made Peter's climax all the more intense when it hit him like a train. The sensation was insane, for all the time he needed to abstain from this. He didn’t remember if it had ever been this intense with any of his previous girlfriends, but he doubted it. His body never felt so caught in a riptide, never felt like he could barely move as he spent himself, riding his orgasm out while thrusting into Kurt and forcing his own body to keep moving.

Kurt was lying underneath him boneless, as Peter finally pulled out of him, but still, Kurt was quick enough to pull him close again and Peter was all too happy to oblige as he fell down on the mattress again and felt Kurt snuggling up to his side impossibly close. As Peter closed his arms around Kurt to pull him even closer, he did not even have the energy to pull the blanket over them anymore. Luckily Kurt's tail did the job for them. He did not wish to have Jean or Scott bolt into his room to find them like this without a blanket at least. »I love you« He breathed quietly into the dark tuft of Kurt's hair, but all Kurt could produce was something that sounded like an agreeing hum. 

****

**-End of Chapter 9-**

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Total number of different pet names used in this chapter: 8
> 
> Translation:  
> "Morg'n" - Morni'n

**January 1986 - Xavier’s School for gifted youngsters**

It was almost as if the weather gods had decided that they wanted to bury the world under a blanket of snow as Peter pulled the curtain in front of the large window to one side and revealed the gloomy looking day. The New Year was only five days old and soon enough everything would go back to the usual business with school starting again and their friends coming back from their families and vacations. The only one who was already back at school was Scott. He had arrived in the late afternoon of the last day, packed with presents from home and even a box full of homemade cookies for the Institute. Somewhere behind him, Kurt moaned and the rustling of fabric told the tale of a blue elf trying to hide under the covers. As he turned around though, he just caught how Kurt's tail was disappearing under the blanket, a piece of paper in its grip. The only evidence of Kurt's presence after this was the little mountain of blankets and pillows. It was quite apparent that Kurt did not want to face the day so soon - not to mention that he was not too fond of the fact that Peter had ripped open their window again to let in fresh air.

»You are such a baby.« He smirked as he slowly walked back to the bed. Kurt really did not like the cold despite having grown up in a circus. Peter himself was only wearing his boxer shorts and although it was cold outside, he did not found it to be a reason to whine more than necessary as he slumped down back on the bed again and tried to wrestle at least a bit of the blanket from Kurt's claws. His boyfriend would have none of this of course. He fought like a champ for the blanket. »Oh come on!« He tried ripping the blanket away from him again, but all he earned was a hiss from somewhere beneath the blanket mountain. »Pretty please? Babe, I'm freezing … Come on Honey!« He almost felt as if he was trying to get a cat to behave and it was just as futile. Only when he sighed in defeat and snuggled up to the blanket mountain, melting to what he thought must be Kurt's back, there was movement again.

One blue finger made its way out of the mountain, then another - and finally Kurt pulled the blanket from his sleepy face to look at Peter over his shoulder, his eyes still small and puffy from sleep, his hair a mess that curled at the ends. He was gorgeous so shortly after waking up and there was no way of denying it. Even Jean had once mocked Kurt with this truth during one of their survival camping trips in the mountains after she had dragged Kurt out of his sleeping back by pulling him at his feet.

»Good Morning, Sugar.« Peter grinned as Kurt locked eyes with him - although it appeared as if his eyes were about to fall shut at any minute now. Well, there was no need to rush anything, he guessed. It was still early in the day and they had plenty of time at their disposal.

» _Morg’n_.« Came the muffled reply as Kurt's mouth was still under the blanket. At least he gave up a bit of the blanket now to allow Peter to crawl underneath it and pull him against his chest with a content sigh. Kurt was not so content as he got to feel Peter’s cold feet. »Your feet are like icicles!« He complained as he tried to get his own legs away from the offending feet. »Go away with your ice feet.«

But Peter would not be Pietro Maximoff, would he not make an effort to torture Kurt even further. Kurt squealed and struggled, but finally gave up with a low moan. »So … the letter, hm?« Peter quietly breathed against Kurt's neck before he planet a little kiss right beneath his pointed ear. There was a shiver running down Kurt's spine at this and Peter could clearly see it. »I saw you pulling it into your lair just now.«

»So?« Kurt yawned but refused to make an effort of staying awake.

»Aren't you going to answer it?«

»I don't know.«

»But Kurt … That's what you wanted, right? Your family finally answered you, you finally got a response from them after two years. You should use that chance!« He tried to keep his voice down as much as possible and tried to be as gentle as possible by approaching this topic, yet he felt how Kurt tensed a little. »I mean … don't you want to see them again?«

»I don't know.«

Peter couldn't help but furrow his brows at this. If their places were swapped, if there would be a loving mother waiting for him to come home after two years of constant worries about her son’s well-being, foster son or not, he would take the chance! For a second, he felt the pang of anger at Kurt's reaction, but he did not want to show it. It wouldn't be fair. And just because Peter was estranged from his mother and had not the most stable relationship with his father still, did not mean that Kurt had not the right to question what he wanted in life. He could not force Kurt to go after his family if he didn't want to. Yet, that was not what he said.

»I think you should do it, Sweet Cheeks.« He sighed as he brushed his fingers through Kurt's soft hair. »You really should write to them and go see them. Their letter was nice! They worried for you! They didn't know what happened to you. It's only thanks to Raven that they even know that you’re still alive. I mean, as much as I dislike her, that was one noble thing she did, right? Please tell them that you are okay, at least. I understand when you're not willing to tell them everything, right? I mean, about what happened to you after you left - or that you’re with me. But at least tell your mother that you are well.«

Kurt wanted to say something flippant, he could already tell by the way he tensed and moved his ears ever so slightly, but Peter cut him off. »No, Kurt, I really mean it. The relationship with your mother, with the woman who raised and loved and cared for you, is the most important relationship in your life and you cannot just throw it away like this.«

Suddenly Kurt sprung into motion as he all but jumped out of the bed and grabbed a pair of Peter’s sweatpants to throw on. »Where are you going?« Peter asked as he sat up quickly, surprised by the sudden change of mood. But Kurt only threw a shirt over his body and grabbed his gym bag that stood right beside Kurt’s desk, always ready and waiting. »Elf?« He tried again as he made a move to stand up himself. Kurt refused to face him as he cast a look inside his bag to make sure he got everything he would need.

»I forgot that I promised Scott yesterday to meet him for a morning jog.« He said and for a second Peter was sure he saw a bit of moisture in Kurt's golden eyes. »I’m back for breakfast.« And before Peter could say or do anything about it, Kurt was gone in a cloud of smoke.

It was already late in the morning as Peter walked downstairs to the gym. Kurt never came to have breakfast with him, but he had not expected him to either. Apparently, he had done something wrong or said something that had hurt him. He was still not too sure what, but he was adamant to make amends as he walked into the gym. There was no sign of Kurt, inside the gym, only Scott was still busy with the dumbbells on the other side of the room.

» _Cupcake_ is in the showers!« Scott grinned from his position and nodded towards the locker room door as Peter moved further into the room. Sweat was dripping from his forehead, clinging to his skin and drenching his t-shirt. Peter guessed that they had all grown in the last three years quite a bit and Scott was no exception. He had grown from an awkward teen into a man and so had Kurt too, although it had been a struggle for him to regain the muscle mass and fitness he had inevitably lost during the months he had not been allowed inside this gym for more than physiotherapy. He only started his regular training shortly after his twentieth birthday last November and only under strict supervision.

Of course, Peter was glad that they did not need to see their former mentor Mystique all that much anymore, but not having her here to train with them, especially with Kurt, really had a negative impact on the progress the elf made. At least now everyone knew why Raven Darkholme had always put so much emphasize on training with Kurt and making him go beyond his limits.

Peter made a small grimace as Scott used such a stupid pet name for his boyfriend, but then he decided to roll his eyes instead of rushing over and giving him a smack on the back of his head. »Shut up, Scottie boy.« After years of training and fighting together, he and Scott had come to a mutual agreement of never taking each other seriously and always trying to poke fun at one another. That was their kind of relationship right here. One of respect, camaraderie, and insults. Still, Peter did not decide to go into the locker room to look after Kurt, instead, he leaned against the wall next to Scott with a sigh.  

»He seemed quite upset earlier. Trouble in Paradise?« Scott smirked as he picked up the weights again. Peter was almost tempted to kill him with them, but then he remembered that he was a reasonable adult and decided not to. Scott was useful at times.

»No« Peter sighed and drove a hand through his hair. »Well, I don't know, actually. We didn't have an argument or something.«

Usually, Scott would be the very last person to discuss relationship issues with and yet, Scott kept his attention directed at him. By now, it was easy to tell when Scott was looking at him or someone else. They all got so used to never seeing his eyes that it got normal. »Whatever it was, he was trying extra hard today because of it. I had to make him slow down quite often, actually. He still needs to be careful, you know?«

 _Of course, I know_ , he wanted to hiss, but he just nodded instead. »It's just … Well, the letter from his family, you know? We talked about it earlier and I asked him why he was not writing back. I don't understand why he doesn’t want to see his family. I mean, after all this time! Hell, I would love to if I would have something like he had.«

»Maybe he still feels guilty about your mom? I mean, maybe he still blames himself for her shunning you? Maybe he thinks he doesn't deserve a loving family because of this.« Sometimes Scott was an endless fountain of wisdom whenever he was not trying to be one. And though Scott’s words were taking him by surprise, and though a little voice in his head wanted to immediately dispute them, Peter could not help but consider that Scott could indeed be right this one time in his life.

»Do you really think he thinks that?« Peter asked and felt incredibly stupid to do so.

»Well, I don't know, just a hunch. In the end, you know Mr. Fuzz Butt better than anyone else. You tell me.« Maybe he should tie Scott’s shoelaces together for good measure after referring to his boyfriend as _Mr. Fuzz Butt_. Not that it was wrong, per se, but Scott should not be concerned about the fuzziness of Kurt's butt.

»So, you got to meet Jeanie’s parents right?« He tried to change the topic although they would not normally talk about these things too much. Scott lowered the weights on their handles again and sat up, wiping away sweat from his forehead with his towel.

»Yes. We spent Christmas at her place before I left to go and see my family. My mother is quite clingy, especially since Alex’s death, of course. I wanted to take Jean with me, but then we decided that we would spend New Year’s with our families. Jean is so considerate, you know? She wanted my mother to be able to have me around without anyone else to spend time with me. My mom really likes Jean, actually. She even gave me a present for her. I think my mom expects me to propose to Jean as soon as we finish school.« Scott sighed, though he did not seem all too opposed to this idea. It had not been easy to watch how those two lovebirds had been dancing around each other for over a year until they finally got together. Hell, even he and Kurt had been faster despite everything that was standing in their way.

»Well, I agree with her.« Peter smirked. »I mean, why shouldn't you? Life is much too short to waste your chances to be with the person you love. If anything, almost losing Kurt last year taught me exactly that. And if I could, I would marry him right on the spot.« He just patted Scott's back as he noticed how his friend raised his brows at him in surprise and confusion. Yes, maybe Peter was at times a bit cheesy, he would never dare to deny that, but why not speak the truth? No matter how cheesy said truth might be.

There was nothing that was standing in Scott and Jean’s way in life, not even their mutations. A part of him envied them for this fact, but he would never say it. »You really think about marriage? I mean, so soon in life?« Scott articulated his surprise, but Peter shrugged.

»Why not? As I said, life is too short, especially in our business, don't you think? Every mission could be our last. What happened last year only made this more clear to me.« He would never forget the days he had spent in Kurt’s room, holding his hand, waiting, hoping and praying that the elf would wake up again. He had never been a religious person, unlike Kurt, but during these days and especially the nights, he had found himself praying numerous times.

»But a wedding would change nothing about that.« Scott huffed quietly but his tone was far from being mocking. In fact, if anything it just showed that Scott was just as afraid of losing Jean than Peter was of losing Kurt.

»No, but it would show the world how much you love that person.« Peter sighed and with a grin he looked towards the locker room door that opened again. »I don't know … Maybe I just think that way because I can't have that, right? It's human nature to always want what you can't have.«

As he bridged the distance between him and Kurt, Peter was satisfied to see how uncomfortable his boyfriend suddenly looked. »I'm sorry that I didn't turn up for _Frühstück_.« Kurt huffed as Peter pinched his nose as a greeting and a punishment at the same time.

»It's okay.« Peter shrugged. »But now you need to starve until lunchtime rolls around, Snugglebug.«

»What is it with you and all those pet names today?« Kurt laughed as he stole a kiss from Peter's lips only to be interrupted by choking noises from Scott on the other side of the room. Some things would never change and so Peter considered again to tie Scott’s shoelaces together.

»I don't know what you mean, Cutiepie.« Peter laughed but grabbed Kurt's hand almost a bit possessive to lead him out of the gym. »Care for a walk in the snow?«

Peter was not a great fan of snow or winter in general and despite the fact that Kurt really was a little whiny when he would rip open their window to let fresh air in in the morning, he seemed to enjoy walking in the snow covered park of the Institute as they were making their way towards the forest that was surrounding the mansion. Soon they would not have as much time to spend with one another as they now had. School was about to start again and now that they were getting closer and closer to their finals, things did not get easier.

»Did you finally decide on what to do after your diploma?« Peter teased gently as he nudged Kurt in the ribs. It was always cute to see just how many layers Kurt Wagner, who had grown up camping, could possibly put on just to shield himself against the snow. He probably had not even felt Peter’s little nudge. The lower half of his face was hidden behind a thick red scarf, that was matching his woolen hat, a gift from Jean’s parents, as they were slowly making their way through the snow that was crunching underneath their feet. The black coat Kurt was wearing was one of Peter’s older ones. His boyfriend was still very much careful when it came to money and despite the fact that Professor X would gladly pay for new clothes for their much-beloved teleporter, Kurt would still rather take hand-me-downs from other students as long as they would fit and be not too worn down. He apparently did not like the notion of throwing away perfectly fine clothes. Needless to say, his closet was a nightmare. At least he would listen to Peter when he would tell him if two colors he was wearing wouldn't match. In the beginning, Kurt’s outfits had been a clusterfuck of mismatches colors and patterns. Slowly, however, the elf, was beginning for form a sense of fashion and find his own style.

»Did you?« Kurt teased back with a huff as he pulled his scarf down a little. He had his hands shoved into the pockets of his coat just like Peter as they were walking close.

»Touché.« Peter laughed. Only a few months were separating him from his graduation and the same was true for Kurt. He would be twenty-six and because he had wasted so much time doing nothing productive with his life he would be at the same point in his life as his boyfriend who was almost six years younger than him. Awesome. »Well, you already know that I will start college.« Peter finally answered. »I want to become a teacher. I thought about PE?«

Kurt laughed a little at this and leaned his head against Peter's shoulder and took one hand out of his pocket to wrap his arm around Peter's waist. Jean’s mother was a genius. She had knitted Kurt’s winter attire, the scarf, and the hat herself and even made him matching mittens, taking into consideration that he only had two fingers and one thumb on each hand. He mirrored the gesture, glad that their argument from the morning seemed forgotten. »Fitting.« Kurt hummed. »I don't know what I want to do. College would be nice, but I … I'm afraid to visit university.« He finally admitted. »Because of the way I look. I mean … Yes, it's cool when I’m at the mall or downtown, but that's only for a moment, right? As long as people only see me for a moment, I’m an attraction, fun to watch, something odd they can tell their families about, but at university, I would become a target, sooner or later, with all the anti-mutant propaganda that's boiling up again.«

»True.« Peter sighed. It was not always easy for people like them, but at least most of them could hide their mutations, unlike Kurt as long as he would not use the image inducer. Since Apocalypse the mutant threat was on people's minds with new futter and there was hardly a week going by without someone on the news talking about it and promoting the anti mutant propaganda on national television. It was ridiculous, really.

There had been reports of the explosion last year after the Purifiers had taken the children. Kurt’s accident and their rescue mission had been all over the news thanks to the nosy camera crew that had apparently got wind of the incident. And despite that, despite that they had seen how mutants had done something good and noble, they somehow were still the bad guys. »Well, you could use your image inducer - or enroll in online classes. I’ve heard the Electronic University Network will start offering its first online class this year. Then again, it would be quite a pain in the ass, right?« He would not like having Kurt running around in disguise all the time, but it seemed to be the only real option for the elf.

Kurt sighed because both options did not seem suitable to him. »Maybe I should take a bit more time deciding.«

»Maybe.« Peter agreed quietly and rested his chin on top of Kurt's head. He was not much taller than Kurt after his boyfriend had grown quite a lot in the past years since they first met, but he was still a bit taller at least - enough to stroke his ego. »I thought about traveling a bit before college, you know? Seeing the world and all.«

»You already saw Egypt.« Kurt joked.

»Would be nice to see it not destroyed though.«

»You cannot have everything, Pietro.« Oh, this teasing little demon. Although Peter had allowed him to call him Pietro, Kurt would only use his real name when he wanted to tease him in some way - or when he was dead serious. Sometimes it was hard to tell because Kurt was no less a jokester than he was.

»No, but I thought about Europe, actually.« Peter started again, although he wondered if it would be wise to steer the conversation into this direction once more. He was not yet done with the whole topic of Kurt's family, but he did not want to pressure him too much either.

»Europe? Like France, Great Britain, Italy…?«

»More like Germany.«

»Pete-«

»I’m serious, Babe. I want to see where you are from. I want to see and experience your culture.«

»And you want me to meet up with my family again.«

»That too, actually. But I know that I cannot force you to do so. I'm not even stupid enough to try. Though I still wonder why you don't want to meet them.« Kurt grew silent again and Peter took it that Kurt did not want to talk about it. Sadly for Kurt, Peter wanted to talk about it and he held him extra close so that Kurt would not teleport away. »Scott said something interesting. Maybe I should have considered it too, but I guess that I am not quite as empathetic as other people. He said that you still feel guilty for my mother disowning me.«

There was no protest and so he continued. »He said that you may think you don't deserve having a good relationship with your family or a loving family at all because you feel guilty because you still feel that it was your fault.«

»Maybe she would have reacted differently, had I not been there.« Kurt finally gave up his silence. »Maybe she would have stomached it more easily if I wouldn't have been there. Maybe, had she only known that you are gay everything would be alright between you again, but she also saw that you are dating a weird blue freak. Maybe that was it, you know?«

»She liked you.«

»No … No, Peter, ach…« He sighed. »The people who are friendly to me do not always like me, you know? They see me as a pet. That’s it. They see me as some weird freak of nature, funny enough to be around, but most certainly not someone one would want their child to date. It's not anything new either…«

»What do you mean?« Peter was careful to probe further because he knew how sensitive Kurt could sometimes be when they talked about the topic. It was not that Kurt was insecure about his appearance, not too much at least, but he was conscious of it and he had already dealt with rejection because of it and with the dangers that sometimes came with being different.

»I just wonder sometimes … Does my family really love me? Or did they just pretend to do so because I was so different and because me being different made them money? What if that's the reason they want me back?« His voice sounded strained and maybe even a bit hoarse.

»You told me that your brother helped you to sneak out and supported your wish for adventure, right? Would he have done so, if they had only been in it for the money?« He pulled him even closer at this. »You know, I honestly believe, after you read the letter to me, that they care for you and not because of the money you made them. And yes, a part of me is jealous, you know? I wish I had a family that cared for me the same way despite the differences. I always thought me and my mother had some kind of bond despite all the shit she made me go through, but as she kicked me out, I realized that this was simply not true. When she let her husbands beat me in the past until I was bleeding, or when she screamed at me, I always thought that it was just the alcohol and that she would someday realize that what she was doing was wrong and that everything would be fine again. As she kicked me out, I started to understand, that the only person that mattered in this world for her, was herself. You, on the other hand, have a real mother. You have a family that loves you and worries for you and you have the chance to meet them again. I was so angry this morning and I couldn't understand why you didn't want to see them. But I think I understand this a bit better now. At least I hope I do. And if you are afraid to go alone, I would be happy to join you on your trip.« Kurt opened his mouth to reply something, but Peter cut him off right away. »You don't have to decide this right away, Elf. Take your time and tell me when you’re ready.«

It was already way past midnight as Peter was shaken awake by something. First, he was not too sure what it was, but as he started to come to his senses, he was quick to realize that Kurt was missing from their bed.

»I think I want to become a teacher as well.« The voice that was coming out of the darkness almost startled him even more than not having Kurt beside him. Slowly, Peter sat up on the bed and switched on the lamp on his nightstand immediately. Kurt was hard to see in the darkness, but he found him sitting on the windowsill and staring outside into the night where the wind was bringing a new wave of snow to them. »And I want to be a mentor as well, to other mutant kids like me. I want to help. I want to give back the kindness I received.«

Peter found himself smiling as he was driving a hand over his tired face and stifled a yawn. »That sounds lovely, Snugglebug.« He hummed quietly.

»But before that, I want to go home.«

****

**-End of Chapter 10-**


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